UPJOKE
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What's the difference between fresh fish and Birdseye?

I once caught a fresh fish

I went to pike's market to buy some fresh fish.

Me: can I get a plastic bag for the fish please?

Cashier: it's already inside.

Last night, in bed, my wife asked me to put fresh fish and herbs on her.

I said, "There's a thyme and a plaice for that sort of thing."

2 Countries separated by a common language

An Englishman went to visit his American cousin who lived in a small fishing village. The village operated it's own cannery. The visit included some sight seeing, hiking and other nature stuff. The Brit noticed that there was almost always fish on the menu and asked his cousin about that. The cousin...

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(Long) Pope's Dinner

(First post here so I hope this one lands!)

A small Catholic church in Kalamazoo is going to be graced with the Pope's presence. To honor his visit, they decide it would be a good idea to cook him a nice fresh fish dinner. The Priest and the Bishop are out fishing for a while until the Bishop...

A man goes to a French market

He wanders around the market, looking for ingredients to make a fish stew. He buys some carrots, onions, and even a few exotic spices. But he still needs to find some fresh fish. He heads over to the deli where he sees an amazing arrangement of meats, cheeses, and of course, seafood. He asks the man...

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The tale of the fly and the lake

Once upon a time, at a small lake in the forest, a little fly was hovering over the calm waters, close to the water's edge.

Unbeknownst to it, a carp spotted the little insect from under the water's surface, and thought to itself:

*"If you fly just a little lower, buddy, I can just jum...

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A man walks into a prawn shop

and says to the owner, "I've been interested in picking up the bass. What do you have in stock?"

The owner hands him a fresh fish.

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A small coastal Australian church gets word the Pope is coming for a visit.

The church committee quickly gets together to discuss arrangements and the topic quickly turns to what food they will serve the Pope.

One of the nuns suggests a serve of fish would be appropriate. The committee agrees and one of the priests is nominated to source a fresh fish.

The pr...

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A joke told to me by my psychology professor...

I'll start by letting you know the backstory to this. It was the first day of class and my professor was giving a brief overview of physiological studies and theories. He then went into a very long description of a supposed psychologist who studied the training of dolphins and it went something like...

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