This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two hillbillies are walking through the woods...

They come across a pile of dog shit. One of them says to the other, "I think that's dog shit."

"Does it smell like dog shit?" Asks the second.

The first bends down to smell it, "Yes."

"Does it feel like dog shit?"

The one picks up a piece and sure enough it feels like s...

What do you call a gremlin addicted to the taste of blood?

A hemogoblin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could taste Jill's candy.

Jack got a shock with a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name was Randy.

I wanted to tell a joke about soup kitchens.

But it was in poor taste.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Favorite Joke by Dad Verbatim

A joke my dad told 30 years ago:

A handicapped guy with a hair lip goes looking for a job. He comes across a toothbrush company and applies for a job. The manager looks at him and says "we sell toothbrushes here, do you think you can do that?"

"Yeth thir, I'll dooo my best." Guy goes...

I got invited to a bad taste halloween party. I was going to go as a suicide victim.

But decided to go as Jeffrey Epstein instead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest hooks a huge fish

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says “Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!”.

“Hey, mind your language!” says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, “Sorry father, but that’s what this fish is called, it’s a Fucker fish”.<...

Chicago style pizza changes you

I use to like New York style pizza

Till I tasted Chicago style pizza

Now, I love New York style pizza

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher was working with a group of children,

trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.

She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these."

The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored ...

People think i'm a monster for only hunting pregnant deer

but doe taste better once it's bred.

So, I ate a memory foam mattress again

I had forgotten how much better they taste than traditional mattresses.

I define myself as “trans-wealthy”

having a rich person's taste in a poor person's body

I like my men like I like my coffee.

Leaving a bitter taste in my throat when I swallow.

A dad was playing with his kids one day

And he said: "You're so adorable I could eat you kids all up!"

One of the children ask: "Daddy, what do we taste like?"

And the dad replies: "When you're older, ask your mother."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Redneck daughter says "Daddy, can I borrow the truck?" (NSFW)

Her dad replies, "sure thing baby, but first, you gotta come I've here and suck my dick." So she goes down on him, but pulls away and yells, "damn Daddy, your dick tastes like shit!" Her dad says, "oh yeah, that's right, your brother borrowed the truck bout an hour ago, sorry."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and Coke

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and Coke. The bartender says, “Coming right up,” reaches below the counter, pulls out an apple and sets it in front of the man. “What the fuck is this?” asks the man. “Trust me, try it,” says the bartender. The man takes a bite and says it tastes just like rum...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does oral sex taste like to senior citizens?

Depends

Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake

It just takes more commitment

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar and orders five shots of tequila...

Bartender: That's a lot of Tequila, is this a special occasion?

Guy: Yes, I'm celebrating my first blowjob.

Bartender: Well that is special! I'll buy your next shot!

Guy: No thanks, if five doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, one more wont help.

Why do Moon Rocks taste better than Earth Rocks?

Because they're a little Meteor

A taste of Russian humor

Ivan had worked at the wheelbarrow factory for as long as anyone could remember, and the day of his retirement had finally arrived. He was well respected and even liked by all his coworkers, and his boss wanted to give him his last farewell at the end of his last day while he was walking out, so he...

I went on a date with this girl...

and for some reason we got to the topic of celebrity crushs
I told her that mine was Cardi B

She told me that her crush was Paul Walker, I immediately replied with 'so we have similar tastes'. She gave me a confused look so I elaborated by saying 'well both of them used to be wrapped arou...

Dad: Son, you're adopted

Son: Wow, you have bad taste.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.

Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled.

They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

And for my next trick, I will dissapear

Fuck you pear, you taste like shit

Just had donkey soup

Taste like ass

Clergy with terrible, terrible habits.

A Catholic priest, a Methodist pastor, a Baptist minister, and an Episcopalian rector were attending an ecumenical conference. After the conferences were done and they had supper, they were relaxing in the hotel restaurant, talking.

The Catholic priest said, "You know, it's great to get to k...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

6 shots

A young man walks up and sits down at the
bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender
inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you
celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first
blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a
7th on the hous...

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

A bar is selling beer for $1.50...

A man goes to a bar and finds that they're selling beer for $1.50. Happy at the relatively cheap price, he decides to buy 4 for $6. He goes home to enjoy the drinks and is stopped by a deer.

"Well you seem happy, what's got you in such a good mood?" The deer asked.

"Oh, they're sellin...

Which friends should you always take out to dinner?

Your taste buds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DONT HIT THE BALL!!!

DON'T HIT THE BALL

A husband and wife were out playing golf.

They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left.

The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups.

She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball.

She hits a beauti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

and orders ten shots. When the bartender comes back with the shots, the man smashes the first one and the tenth ones on the floor. The bartender asks, "What did you do that for?!" The man says, "The first one always tastes like crap and the last one always makes me sick!"

and orders ten shots...

MBBS Professor: The Sperm is made up of Glucose, the same material Sugar is made of. [nsfw]

A Girl raised her hand: "Then why doesn't it taste like Sugar?"

Whole class went silent.

Girl: “Oops”

Professor : “My dear, that might be because, the taste buds are located on the tip of your Tongue and not at the end of your throat”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say pineapple juice makes your cum taste better.

But for me, it just ruins the pineapple juice.

Two cannibals are eating a clown...

One says to the other, does this taste funny to you?

What's the worst thing about having bulimia?

You taste your defeat twice.

So I was going down on my grandmother

and I tasted horse cum. Then I had a thought... what if that's how she died?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know how I know you’re gay?!

.... your dick taste like shit.

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it.

"It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I’m in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each...

Synesthesia Toast Cruch!

The taste you can see!

[NSFW] My night has been terrible, I blew a speaker in my house.

He said he was a motivational speaker, but all he did was leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Two women are in a insane asylum

Eventually they can't take anymore.

#THEY DECIDE TO ESCAPE!#

At night they slip out of their rooms and sneak towards the stairs. They climb up the stairs and make it to the roof. From there they can smell the fresh air, and taste freedom. All they have to do is jump to the next buildin...

Happily Married

There is a couple who have been married for 30 years. Every Friday for dinner the husband would come home from work and the wife would serve him a huge bowl of chilli. One friday, the husband comes home with a colleague so the wife serves up two bowls. When the wife gets up to go to the kitchen, the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I ate ass for the first time yesterday

I wouldn't eat it again, the donkey meat tasted weird

They say yoghurts have tastes from around the world.

Because they're well cultured

Finally realized why the end of my rifle always tastes so salty

Because whenever I put it in my mouth I’m always crying

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys meet at a bar. one of them is an inventor.

Bob,the inventor,tosses Felix a peach."What's this?"Felix asks.

"It's a peach."says Bob.

"I know it's a peach." Felix says.

"It's a special peach"Bob says.

"What's so special about it?"continues Felix.

"This one here,I shit you not, tastes just like a woman's vagin...

I accidentally drank from a co-workers coffee cup. It tasted horrible.

It was not my cup of tea.

Scientists annoy me, they’re always going on about Boyle’s Law and Archimedes’ Law.

One came up to me and said: “If you had an apple which experiences no net force, then its velocity is constant: the apple is either at rest, or it moves in a straight line with constant speed – Newton’s Law”

So I said “Here’s one for you: If you have an apple, a carrot, a cabbage, mayonnaise ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tourist in Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing.

While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull’s testicles ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) So a man walked into my bar

And ordered 6 shots of Sambuca,
I asked him why he was having so many,
He said that he was celebrating his first blowjob,

So I said "you know what I'll buy you a shot for that"
And he said "if 6 shots doesn't take away the taste, nothing will"

My Alg II told us this one (Part 2)

Boodro and Tibbideux were fishing on a boat when a man passes by with a boat full of fish. They ask him, "How'd you get all those fish?" And the man says "You got to go up the stream to where the salt water turns to fresh water." So they go up the stream for about 30 minutes. Tibbideux asks how they...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Challenger Shuttle Teacher Christa McAuliffe Jokes - In bad taste

Q: What was the last thing Christa McAuliffe said right before the Challenger exploded??


A:What's this button do??




Q: What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband just before launch??




A: Honey, you feed the dogs, and I'll feed the fish.

A neuropathic doctor opens a clinic...

He puts a sign outside that says 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $100.' A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth....

My friend asked me how would people survive without the ability to see, hear, smell, taste, or feel.

I told him: It's nonsense.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does 90 year old pussy taste like?

Depends.

What do you call a deatheater with a taste for psychadelic drugs?

Lucius in the sky with diamonds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guys first blow job ....

Guy goes into a bar and orders 4 taqueria shots and starts knocking them back.
Barman asks what’s up and the guy tells him he just had his first blowjob.

‘Congrats’ says the barman, ‘have another on me’.

‘No thanks’ says the guy, ‘if 4 shots won’t take the taste away another isn’t...

A Muslim Imam, after years of adherence to the Quran, begins to wonder what pork taste like...

He confesses this temptation to his wife who reaffirms that pork is strictly forbidden by their faith.



One evening, however, he gives in to his curiosity and buys a pulled pork slider on his way back from work. He finds a quiet bench in a nearby park and prepares to take a bite of his...

If your urine smells like alcohol, you may have a drinking problem

If your urine tastes like alcohol, you definitely do have a drinking problem

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.