What does breast milk taste like?

Umami.

Medical advances these days are absolutely crazy. They've found ways to activate taste buds in people who were born without the sense. Surprisingly most people don't like it at first.

Its an acquired taste.

What element tastes the best?

Tungsten.

What smells better than it tastes?

A nose

What does pure gold taste like?

Crunchy. Because it is comprised of 24 carrots.

What does baby wookie taste like?

A little chewie.

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My Wife's vagina tastes like a tropical fruit.

She'll let any mango in there.

What did the Swiss man do after working 35 years as a Pepsi taste tester?

Peeecolaaa

Why does Edam have such a unique taste?

Because it's made backwards

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What does 80 year old pussy taste like?

Depends

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Women close to Elon have said his semen taste kind of like BBQ.

They describe it as a “salty musk skeet”.

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Why do assholes taste so damn good

Ah shit, this isn't Bing, is it?

"You don't need to know what makes this burger taste so good"

- said an anonymous sauce.

Apparently many cannibals agree that people that have been in multiple shipwrecks taste better.

You could say that they prefer seasoned survivors.

What do you call friends that you go out to eat with?

Taste buds.

This coffee tastes like dirt

Well it was ground this morning

Client: Waiter, please come taste my soup.

Waiter: Is there anything wrong with it sir? Want me to take it back to the chef?

Client: No, I just want you to taste my soup.

Waiter: But there's no spoon on the table.

Client: Exactly!

Your taste buds change every month. Want proof? Follow these steps.

1. Take a piece of bread or a fruit of your choice.

2. Take a bite of said food.

3. Wait a month.

4. Take another bite of that *same* piece of food.

If all goes correctly, you should have tasted something different.

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They say pineapple juice makes your cum taste better.

But for me, it just ruins the pineapple juice.

If your urine smells like alcohol, you may have a drinking problem

If your urine tastes like alcohol, you definitely do have a drinking problem

What’s 7 and a half inches long, white, and tastes funny?

An expired Zero bar.

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I've been told that my dick tastes like bacon...

But for me, the real story there is that my dog can talk.

I edited my pig's genes to make it taste better

you might even say the bacon is CRISPR

What did the person with horrible music taste say to the person who stole their coin?

Hey can I have my nickelback?

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The worse things taste, the better they are for you.

Ever tried vaccines? They taste like shit.

I ordered a coffee and it tasted awful. I called the waiter over and said "This coffee tastes like mud!"

They replied: Thank you sir, it's fresh ground! "

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My wife said my stew was too salty, was far too watery and left her with a strange metallic after taste.

Bitch... I put my blood, sweat and tears into that dish.

I gave my Ex a taste of her own medicine.

My ex's car broke down and she called to ask for help.
I went out and took a look at and left without telling her what was wrong.

What do you call something that looks like pasta, and tastes like pasta, but isn't pasta?

An impasta.

I asked a cannibal, "What do elderly people taste like?"

He said "Depends."

You know what's green and tastes like blue paint?

Green paint.

My friend said my taste in dark humor is really messed up.

I think he's just racist; Pryor, Rock, and Chappelle are legends.

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Classic Joke for your taste

The first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. ...

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A woman, tired of her husband's obnoxious snoring, decides to give him a taste of his own medicine.

That night, they went to bed, and as the husband rolled over and began to drift off, the wife started to snore. When he didn't react, she got louder. She continued until the husband, grumbling, started fumbling around in the dark. He groped until his hand found one of her breasts, and he gave her ni...

I work in a Cajun restaurant and people always ask what the alligator tastes like.

I tell them it tastes great, but we make ours out of baby alligator so it has a little bite to it.

I wonder what turtle tastes like?

It tastes like plastic.

What do you call the chewy candy that tastes like a mongoose and kills snakes?

Riki Tiki Taffy

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A man walks into a bar...

... and says to the bartender “I’ll take a whiskey coke please.”

The bartender says “no worries I have just the thing.” And sets an apple on the counter.

The man, baffled, asks “what the hell is this, I wanted a whiskey coke.” 

The bartender says “take a bite.”

The man ta...

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I had a girlfriend who thought certain tastes and smells could cause her to orgasm.

Then she came to her senses.

Why does chicken taste good in Ranch?

Because that’s where it was raised

Why does salt lake everything taste better

Because it's sodi-yummm!

Always remember that you have better taste in things than your spouse

If your spouse has better taste, they wouldn't have chosen you

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Butter makes everything taste better,

But now my girlfriend has a yeast infection.

Guys with good taste

Her: I like guys with good taste
Him: Lucky for you, I've been eating pineapple all day
Her: What?
Him: What?

Me: this milk tastes funny

Lactating clown: thank you

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I find Nazi jokes in such bad taste because my grandfather died at Auschwitz...

He was drunk and fell off his observation tower.

As a young boy I never liked being around my priest.

It just left a bad taste in my mouth.

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I got drunk and told my arab neighbor’s wife her cooking tastes like shit

I really falafel about it

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This guy walks into a bar and orders a rhum and coke

The bartender says I got something similar, here’s an apple

Guy: that’s an apple?! I asked for a rhum and coke

Bartender: just have a bite

Guy: WOW! it tastes like rhum!!!

Bartender: turn it around

Guy turns it around and bites: WOW tastes like coke!! Rhum n coke!...

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer...

One asks "Hey, does this taste funny to you?"


The other responds "No."

What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What do you call tea that tastes like freedom?

LiberTEA

(Im not sorry)

If brown cake tastes like chocolate and white cake tastes like vanilla, what does yellow cake taste like?

Uranium

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A shark and his son go looking for a snack...

The father says, "I'm going to teach you how to catch a human. First you raise your fin out of the water and start circling, then you go in and eat them."

"Why circle them?" asks the son.

The father replies, "They taste better without shit in them."

A Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital,

He opens a clinic and puts a sign outside.

'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Doc; "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 dro...

My friend asked me how would people survive without the ability to see, hear, smell, taste, or feel.

I told him: It's nonsense.

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Challenger Shuttle Teacher Christa McAuliffe Jokes - In bad taste

Q: What was the last thing Christa McAuliffe said right before the Challenger exploded??


A:What's this button do??




Q: What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband just before launch??




A: Honey, you feed the dogs, and I'll feed the fish.

Why does a Moon rock taste better than an Earth rock?

Because it's a little meteor.

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How does a Mom from Alabama know her daughter has started menstruating?

When her son's dick tastes like blood.

Which dinosaur was the expert judge in matters of taste?

The Connoissaur

What do you call a deatheater with a taste for psychadelic drugs?

Lucius in the sky with diamonds.

Finally realized why the end of my rifle always tastes so salty

Because whenever I put it in my mouth I’m always crying

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How do you like them apples?

A guy sits down at the bar, and asks for a Rum & Coke

The bartender plops an apple in front of him.

"But I wanted a drink"

The bartender says "Just try it."

The guy bites into the apple, and says "Wow, this tastes just like rum!"

"Turn it around," says the bart...

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste.

When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

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I caught my sister masturbating with a cucumber last night. I was going to eat it...

but now her pussy will just taste like a cucumber.

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A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.

Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled.

They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, ...

What do Tide Pods taste like?

Natural Selection.

What did one mushroom say to another after winning the taste tests?

We are Champignons!

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Selling Toothbrushes. Source: My Dad

(Long)
One day a man was walking down the street when he sees a kid on the corner selling tooth brushes. The kid asks him, "Hey sir would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
The man says, "I would except I already have one at home. I don't need one right now but do you want a tip to help...

I asked a cannibal if humans tasted good.

He said it can vary from person to person.

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What tastes good on pizza but not on pussy?

Crust

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