Nice canned meat you got there

Too bad it isn't allowed here, rule 3.

We were stranded at sea with dwindling supplies of dried food and canned meat. Some of the guys started to catch birds and eat them or barter them for other food,...

...so I took a tern for the wurst.

If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat, don't open it ...

It's Spam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Singles on a deserted island

A luxury cruise ship offered a cruise for young singles only. But halfway through the voyage, the ship crashed. The Captain had been having a affair and didn't see the giant rock formation. The cruise ship went down in record time (as did the Captain). Most people on board were too drunk to act fast...

A wife leaves her husband some canned fish for dinner and a note that says, "I'm going to be back by midnight."

The husband picks up the note and it reads, "Stand in hot water for ten minutes before you open it." So he does.

The next morning, his wife asks him how's the fish, to which he answers, "It tastes delicious but, my feet hurt."

A group of canned vegetables were sitting on a shelf

and one of them was twisting around and checking himself out.
"Hey!" He cried proudly. "I'm one hundred percent corn, nothing else!"
Some fancy new can of Brussels sprouts swiveled to look at him. "But who cares? You're just corn." He said witheringly.
"Well I'm not corn. I'm heirloom...

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