Father's Day Jokes - 35 Hilarious Father's Day Jokes

My Kids are buying me gifts for Father's day,

Hope I can afford it.

Happy Father's Day

A new teacher joins a school.

She finds two boys looking very similar in appearance.

The teacher asks: Twins...?

Boys: No, we are neighbours!

Happy father's day!

5 year old son after reading story of a king says to his mom:

Son: Mom, I also want 3 wives... one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me

Mom: And which one will put you to sleep

Son: No mom, i will still sleep with you

Mom's eyes filled up with tears.

Mom: ...

Father's Day

I don't get excited about gifts the way other people do, and it drives my wife nuts. For Father's Day, my wife was determined to get a reaction out of me and so she ordered me a custom-designed tie. She knew that I had two great passions in life: movies and dad humor, so she hired a well-known graph...

I got a lot of "Happy Father's Day, Daddy" messages yesrerday...

I'm starting to think I spend way too much money on OnlyFans...

What do you get when you cross Father's Day and Cake day?

Extra Karma... I hope.

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Instead of "Mother's Day" and "Father's Day"

It should be "Mother's Day" and "'s Day"

Husband: "Wife, maybe for father's day you could get me a nice shirt?"

Wife: "What about all the others you have?"

Husband: "They are all getting me different things"

In honor of Father's day, a dad joke

There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.

He'll be Bach

Grandpa's Father's Day quip

Out at breakfast with my fiance's grandparents yesterday morning when I priest comes in. Her grandfather is almost 90.

Grandpa, (knowing I was raised Catholic) says, "So you gonna wish him a Happy Father's Day too?"

How does Kylo Ren celebrate Father's Day?

Solo

A father's day joke

Father: Anthony, do you think I am a bad father?

Son: My name is Paul.

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Dads of Reddit: Happy Father's Day...

YOU MOTHER FUCKERS

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This Sunday is Father's Day

I just want to give a shout out to all you motherfuckers out there.

Mothers have Mothers day, father's have Father's day, couples have Valentine's day

and I have Palm Sunday.

I'm getting a sweater for Father's Day!

I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner, but I guess this will do.

Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?

Palm Sunday.

God says to jesus, "You remembered it's father's day?"

Jesus says "what the hell am I supposed to get a man who has everything?!"

*God turns & winks at camera*

"Omnipresents."

Father's Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store.

Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.

When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “...

What did Dad say when he got a universal remote for Father's Day?

This changes everything!

Happy Father's Day!

FATHER'S DAY DAD JOKE: What kind of shoes does a ninja wear?

Sneakers

When is Father's Day ?

Nine months after Father's Night

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Father's Day, at school, and all the students are supposed to make cards...

...by drawing a picture of their father at work.

Teacher asks, "Logan, what does your father do?"

"My dad's a cop. I'm gonna draw him catching a bad guy."

Then the teacher asks, "Briei, what does your father do?"

Briei says, "My dad's a writer. I'm going to draw him wit...

Father's Day coming up... let's hear your best dad joke!!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

For Father's Day my wife and kid made me breakfast in bed

I'd have preferred they made it in the kitchen but it's the thought that counts

For Father's Day, my wife gave me a rear facing camera for my car.

I haven't looked back since.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Samuel L Jackson call Father's day as?

's Day

What is the official song of Father's Day?

The Wanted - Glad you came

Dad jokes for Father's Day

As its Father's Day (in Australia at least), here's a thread for all our favourite Dad Jokes

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

Happy Dad Joke Day!

Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?

Because they're so full of mummies

(As told by "Jackie chan" while cooking my lunch on the hibachi grill)

In honor of father's day - one from my dad. A dungbeetle walks into a bar and he says to the bartender:

Excuse me sir, is this stool taken?

For Father's Day, my favorite Father joke.

A doctor who invents as a hobby has invented the Child Birth Pain Transfer Machine (CBPTM), which allows the transfer of the pain of childbirth from the mother to the father at varying degrees.

A couple walks in, and the wife is in labor. They agree to hook her up to the machine, and the doct...

Everyone keeps wishing a Happy Father's Day to "The Best Dad in the World."

I'm flattered. But I hope everyone wishes their own dad a Happy Fathers Day as well.

Most people know today as Father's Day but I...

know it as Sonday

What do you get a first dad for father's day?

Condoms.

Courtesy of my witty ole' uncle mike

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