In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has ...
A rich, but cheap father was putting together a birthday celebration for his daughter.
A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.
He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.
"Why not get it o...
A special celebration...
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days."
Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on...
Pride: gets an entire month of celebration
The other 6 deadly sins:
If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore...
It will be a monumental disaster.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I once went on a business trip to china, while there I ordered myself a prostitute. Half way though she was screaming in delight “meee how” meeee hooow” and I thought to myself “she’s loving this”
Just the next day out golfing with a few clients when I hit a ball from the edge of the green to roll on the hole perfectly, of course I couldn’t speak mandarin so I screamed the only happy words I knew “Mee how” “meeeeehow”, whilst celebration one of my colleges comes over and says “no you’ve got t...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
In celebration of my cake day, here's the worst joke I've ever created.
There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him ...
This year's Fibonacci celebrations are going to be huge
As big as the previous two combined
Wedding anniversary gifts can be pricey: 5 year celebration gift is Silverware, 15 years are Rubies and Pearls are 30. Now, at 31 years there is finally one I can get behind,
we're going to Baskin-Robbins.
A couple had been married for 35 years,
the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them each one wish.The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic ...
'Where's Wally' celebration day!
Event expected to draw large crowds.
Queen's birthday celebrations are cancelled for the first time.
In 100 years she will remember it and laugh
If there is a violent riot tonight in Philadelphia
Then we won't really know if it is in protest or celebration
A groom ran out during his wedding...
His heart wasn’t in the relationship anymore and he couldn’t go through with it, so he ran out just before the vows.
The wedding party, along with everyone in attendance, was in shock.
The bride’s father convinced everyone that since he already paid for the reception, everyone should...
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.** **There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.** **Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.** **Bands were playing; children were throwing confett...
Trumps personal assistant: „Hey Mr. President, All will be good! I had an awesome dream last night!“
T: „Oh really!? Tell me!!“ A: „There was a big parade in Washington with a hell of people celebrating your presence! Millions of people yelled out of joy when you passed them on the road, bands were playing, kids throwing confetti in the air! It was the most epic celebration ever been held in Was...
Really annoyed my Wife last week by opening a box of celebrations...
I changed all of the wrappers around.
She really got her Snickers in a Twix!
Shortest birthday celebration?
My sixty-second birthday party.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th
Because I like to reduce fractions.
Happy New Year
It's my cake day, and in celebration I am giving away all my dead batteries,
Free of charge.
In Celebration of my Cake Day, here's a terrible joke: the Olympic Swimmer and his Son
Michael was a famous Olympic Swimmer. Recently retired, it was his dream to continue his legacy by teaching his son the art of swimming. They had practiced for years, and when Michael's son was ready, he was entered into his first ever tournament.
The first round was easy. After all, t...
A Rabbi Wants to Spread Judaism with the World
A rabbi wants to spread Judaism with the world but isn’t sure where he would like to start. He decides he will spin a globe and randomly place his finger to stop it. He does this and lands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The rabbi goes on a boat, and sails to the spot he chose. As it turns out, ...
After a terrible shipwreck, a man found himself alone on an island. He went about the island in search of food and shelter. After a long walk, the man froze in terror as he saw a tribe of cannibals in the middle of a celebration...
The man thought to himself, "I’m so screwed!" To his surprise, a bright light came from the heavens and a deep voice said to him "Not yet my son, listen very carefully: what you have to do is; run up to the chief of the tribe, kick him in the nuts, and take his spear. As soon as you take his spear, ...