I was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits recently

It's really all about raisin awareness.

Hear about the fire at the dried fruits factory?

It was an apricotastrophe.

People are always asking “why give up everything to get into the dried fruit business?”

I have my raisins.

I met someone online who shares my fetish for urinating on dried fruit...

...so we’re going to go on a date next week...

I would never buy trail mix without dried fruit or chocolate.

That’s just nuts!

I met a girl who didn’t like dried fruit.

Well I certainly couldn’t interest her in a date.

Wait, you didn’t hear about the terrorist attack on the Dried Fruits and Nuts convention?

I guess you don’t follow currant events.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My vodka Christmas cake recipe

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4...

I've mastered a way to pick up dates at the supermarket

It's super simple, just head down over to the dried fruits isle

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