What do fish smoke?


I’m addicted to seaweed.

I must seek kelp.

What did the fish say to the seaweed?

May I kelp you?

My stoner friend is on the 'seaweed' diet...

He sees weed, then smokes it in the parking lot at Red Lobster

I have this weird compulsion to stare at seaweed

I desperately need to see kelp

Why was the sand wet?

because the seaweed

I'm on a seaweed diet

I see weed i smoke it

What do you call it when you do papercrafts with seaweed?


This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was an Englishman, a Frenchmen and a Japanese man sitting at a bar.

They were all in good spirits, complimenting each others countries and their achievements. But they also pointed out the strange customs too.

It was the Englishman and the Frenchman who spoke first about Japan. They said, "Japan is such a fine country which has provided the world with so ma...

With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed?

A sea-saw

"I've found that I'd scream the exact same way If a piece of seaweed touches my leg or if a shark were trying to bite me."

- Kevin James

What's a blind pothead's favorite herb?


Why did the fish get kicked out of school?

Because he got caught with seaweed.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A ship goes down at sea and two survivors wash up on the shore of an island--a man and a Chihuahua.

The only other inhabitants of the island are harmless native sheep that roam and feed aimlessly on the lush grass. Conditions are primitive, but the man and Chihuahua coexist peacefully for several years.

The man eventually comes to the realization that he will never be rescued. Sadly he beg...

why were the merpeople acting funny

they legalized seaweed

An idea for a TV series

It's all about a young Irishman who makes his living collecting seaweed and herbs along the shores of Galway Bay, and his adventures as he travels to all the local town markets to sell them.

Working title: "Duffy the Samphire Purveyor"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.