How much do pirates pay for corn?

A Buck-an-ear

A carrot, some corn and a cucumber fell into the ocean.

They are all c foods.

Why are farmers growing corn?

Don't they know they can just buy it at the grocery store!

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What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a dysentery prostitute?

The corn husker shucks between fits

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

I complemented some corn the other day.

It smiled from ear to ear.

Illinois has corn, Wisconsin has cheese, what does Michigan have?

Lead poisoning.

What do you call a corn cob with only one kernel?

A unicorn.

Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.

They were the laughing stalk of the field

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Love is like corn dog

Bitches would only want my weiner if I got the bread

Why do pirates only eat corn on special occasions?

Arrrrr, cause' they cost a buccaneer

What did mammy corn say to baby corn when daddy didn't come home?????

Wheres popcorn.

Sorry for the corny joke.

Who is the master of corn religion ?

The pope corn

What does a corn become when it joins the military?

Colonel

How much does a settler in the Old West have to pay for corn?

$3.14 an ear.

What did the baby corn ask the mother corn ?

He asked: "Where's pop corn ?"

What's the difference between a chickpea and an ear of corn?

I've never paid $20 to have an ear of corn on my face

What happens when corn traders in the commodity market indulge in greedy but lame practices to profit?

Corny capitalism

Why did the manager fire the corn?

Cause he was sleeping on the cob!

What did the farmer say to the corn that was being difficult?

Go shuck yourself.


What did the mom say to her child walking through the cornfield?

Watch out for stalkers.


Sorry for all the corny jokes.

What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

Aw shucks!

I saw someone at the grocery store who angrily stabbed a box of corn flakes, and the flakes went everywhere.

The person was arrested for being a cereal killer.

Sitting with my shoes off next to a warm campfire eating corn chips.

Tostitos

Two corn cobs walked down the street,

One was then hit by a car. At the hospital, the doctor said to the other corn, “I have good news and bad news,”

“Good news is your friend is going to pull through.”

“Bad news is he’s going to be a vegetable”

What do you call a unicorn that had its horn cut off?

A eunuchorn!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three couples are trying to get married at the same church.

There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married.
"If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex," says the priest.
One month later the three couples return...

What does corn use to get on the internet?

The cobweb.

What does the Matrix 4 announcement and eating corn have in common?

I'm excited to see it once it comes out.

A guy is cooking up some corn on the cob and he's not too sure how long it cooks for

So he plays it by ear.

Corn is the Houdini of food.

It disappears one day and reappears the next.

What do you call a millennial in a corn field.

Lost. They're definitely lost.

Why shouldn't the corn dog & the pig in a blanket have kids together?

They're both inbred.

A salesman was travelling through the countryside,

selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it."

The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that b...

Why did Mike Tyson plant marijuana instead of corn?

He was afraid he'd eat all of the ears.

just witnessed a chicken try and pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,

ImPeck-able

Vegan witches be like

ear of corn! Eye of Potato!

A reporter visits a small village farm to interview a farmer about his sheep.

A reporter visits a small village farm to interview a farmer about his sheep.

Reporter:So Billy,what do feed your sheep?

Billy:I feed the white one corn mix.

Reporter:what about the black one?

Billy:I feed it corn mix as well.

Reporter: Ok,where do your sheep sleep...

What does corn have in common with good friends?

You know you’ll see them again

Yesterday I stepped on a corn flake.

Now I am a sereal killer

What did the corn say when it was being followed?

“I’m being stalked!”

A duck walks into a farmers market.

“Do you have corn?” The duck asks.
“No, unfortunately not” the worker replied.

The next day the duck is back.
“Do you have corn?” Asks the duck once again.
“No. We don’t” the worker says.

The third day the duck is back yet again.
“Do you have corn?” It asks.
“No! We don’...

Feed a man corn and he will eat for a day

Teach a man to grow corn, he will kill your people and steal your land

A group of canned vegetables were sitting on a shelf

and one of them was twisting around and checking himself out.
"Hey!" He cried proudly. "I'm one hundred percent corn, nothing else!"
Some fancy new can of Brussels sprouts swiveled to look at him. "But who cares? You're just corn." He said witheringly.
"Well I'm not corn. I'm heirloom...

Courtesy of my four year old

Q: What do baby corns call their daddy?

A: Popcorn

What does corn say when it's frustrated?

Aw shucks!


(Yes, I know this joke is very corny)

Not enjoying your corn at KFC?

Blame the kernel.

I told the corn he wasn't fat, just a little husky.

He didn't know how to take the compliment tho I guess it went against the grain.

what did the kid-corn say to the mom-corn

Wheres the popcorn

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the corn say to his therapist?

How can a family with so many ears not hear my cries for help?

I found out why it’s a bad idea to share secrets on a farm..

The corn has ears,

The potatoes have eyes.

And Ezekiel had a shotgun when found me with his daughter!

I got a new job today selling corn to pirates.

A buck an ear.

Veggies

I met a young lady in a bar the other night, we were getting along pretty good so we decided to go back to place a blocks away. When we got there we started kissing and got our cloths off.

I like going down on a lady so started munching on her and all of a sudden I got a green bean in my m...

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A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church

The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners.

You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.

" The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?...

What do you call a potato and an ear of corn in a police car?

Starchy and Husk

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was having a shit on the train when some bloke knocked on the door.

He said ‘can I see your ticket please?’

‘Not right now, I’m having a shit’ I shouted back.

‘I don’t believe you, can you slide it under the door?’ He snapped back annoyedly

‘Sure thing, no problem. The yellow bits are sweet corn’ I said

What do you get when you put 1 tsp each of almonds, oats, corn flakes, and raisins in a bowl?

A muesli/measly serving.

Snuck up on a corn stalk

Pretty easy when they have no ears

What did the corn farmer say after he had a particularly good harvest?

There’s polenta more where that came from!!

What happens if you castrate a corn cob?

It becomes a eunuchcorn.

All puppies shucking corn.....

Are a litlle Husky... It's a gosh darn corn joke. I am a God!

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A farmer trained his rooster to peel the husks off of corn

What a cock-shucker

What’s a corn farmers favorite kind of dog

A Husky

I invented a new kind of corn

It has a very soft center so it is easy to poke the holders into it.

I call it... softcore corn.

Don't look it up on the internet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My relationship with corn is perfect.

It'll never turn to shit.

Did you here the one about the shy corn kernel that went to the party.

They say he really popped when he came out of his shell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some jokes never get old... (Not mine)

Some jokes just NEVER get old LMAO

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to ...

A donkey and his farmer were hauling some corn on an old road

when a wheel broke, cracking the road underneath. The township sued the farmer for road repairs, but a judge dismissed the case stating "it's not the ass's fault asphalt has faults"

Be sure to always whisper while in a corn maze

The walls have ears.

What do you call the children of the corns father?

Pop corn.

What did the magician say before he turned his assistant into an ear of corn?

Prepare to be a-maize-d

TIL the creator of Corn Pops also invented Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, and Apple Jacks

His tombstone just says "cereal entrepreneur"

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