what did the kid-corn say to the mom-corn

Wheres the popcorn

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

Sitting with my shoes off next to a warm campfire eating corn chips.


A corn walks into a bar...

And it says to the bartender:

"Hey, wanna hear a joke?"

The bartender agrees. The corn then asks:

"What did the traffic light say to the car?"

The bartender then says: "What?"

The corn says: "DON'T LOOK! I'M CHANGING!"

The bartender shakes his head in disapp...

What did the corn say to his therapist?

How can a family with so many ears not hear my cries for help?

What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a hooker with diarrhea?

The corner farmer shucks between fits...

Today I stepped on a corn flake.

Does that make me a cereal killer?

What did the corn cob say when all of its clothes fell off?


What does corn say when it's frustrated?

Aw shucks!

(Yes, I know this joke is very corny)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three couples are trying to get married.

Three couples are trying to get married at the same church. There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married.

"If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without ha...

I got a new job today selling corn to pirates.

A buck an ear.

Why did Mike Tyson plant marijuana instead of corn?

He was afraid he'd eat all of the ears.

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.

Not enjoying your corn at KFC?

Blame the kernel.

Yo mama so fat...

she doesn’t have corn rows, she has crop circles.

Why did the farmer talk to his corn crop?

Because they have ears.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A farmer trained his rooster to peel the husks off of corn

What a cock-shucker

I invented a new kind of corn

It has a very soft center so it is easy to poke the holders into it.

I call it... softcore corn.

Don't look it up on the internet.

What did the corn farmer say after he had a particularly good harvest?

There’s polenta more where that came from!!

Puzzled Girlfriend

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Did you here the one about the shy corn kernel that went to the party.

They say he really popped when he came out of his shell.

What do you call a potato and an ear of corn in a police car?

Starchy and Husk

A donkey and his farmer were hauling some corn on an old road

when a wheel broke, cracking the road underneath. The township sued the farmer for road repairs, but a judge dismissed the case stating "it's not the ass's fault asphalt has faults"

What’s a corn farmers favorite kind of dog

A Husky

Feed a man corn and he will eat for a day

Teach a man to grow corn, he will kill your people and steal your land

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My relationship with corn is perfect.

It'll never turn to shit.

How much would a pirate sell corn for?

About a buck an ear.

What do you call the single grain of corn on the tree?


TIL the creator of Corn Pops also invented Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, and Apple Jacks

His tombstone just says "cereal entrepreneur"

What did the magician say before he turned his assistant into an ear of corn?

Prepare to be a-maize-d

Why did it take Knuckles seven days to escape the corn maze?

He didn’t know da wae.

Mans wife finds 25,000 dollars and two ears of corn in a secret trunk at their home

Wife - Why are there two ears of corn in this trunk?

Husband - I kept a ear of corn every time I messed around on you.

Wife - Oh that’s not bad, 34 years of marriage and only messed around twice? What about the 25,000 dollars?

Husband - Every-time I collected a bushel I sold i...

If you made a corn labyrinth in the likeness of a deceased television pitchman...

You'd have a Billy Mays maize maze.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Is eating popcorn gay?

Because after all, you are eating a busted nut

What's the difference between candy corn and boogers?

Kids won't eat candy corn.

Why do farmers play smooth jazz for their corn?

It's easy on the ears

Be sure to always whisper while in a corn maze

The walls have ears.

I got lost in a corn field.

It was quite a maize.

What do you call the children of the corns father?

Pop corn.

Friends, Romans, Corn Futures Brokers,

Lend me your ears

What happens if you castrate a corn cob?

It becomes a eunuchcorn.

I once accidentally poured glue in my son's corn flakes

He's never talked to me again

A married man found a chest with 20k and 3 pieces of corn

Man: honey, I just found a chest with some interesting items inside

Woman: what is it?

Man: well there is 20,000 dollars inside and 3 pieces of corn

Woman: well that is my cheating chest, every time that I have cheated on you I put a piece of corn

The man thinks to h...

Donald Trump announced plans to stop subsidizing the corn industry

He's making America grain again.

What did the corn chip say to the light bulb?

Are you turned on? Because I'm Frito Lay

What the corniest part of a corn field?

The corner.

What do you call things used to smooth corn kernels?

Kernel Sanders.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do grouchy people eat for breakfast?

Fucking corn flakes

What does a chorus made of corn do?

Sing in hominy.

Hey girl, do you live in a corn field?

Because I'm stalking you.

I got a job peeling corn all day...

It really shucks.

I love corn!

It's a food that always amaizes me.

Donald Trump is the candy corn of politicians

Part white, part orange and sickening in large doses

Why wouldn't Dolores let William eat the corn?

Because the maize isn't meant for him.

Corniest joke I know.

Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners playboy mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the playboy mansion seeing two friars outside.

Eventually Hugh Hefn...

What do you call a corn farmer who had his genitals removed

A eunuch corn

I once heard this joke about corn

It was a-maizeing

If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it...

...and I'll be the colonel.

I find that corn fields are the best places to vent your frustrations...

...because they're all ears.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Hot buttered corn

Three guys have been walking thru the desert for 2 days. They are dehydrated, they are hungry, and they are tired.
One man believes he sees a house in the distance. They all accuse him of seeing a mirage until they all get a little closer and realize there is a house all alone in the middle of t...

I downloaded corn onto my computer.

It messed up the kernel.