What did the farmer say to the corn that was being difficult?

Go shuck yourself.


What did the mom say to her child walking through the cornfield?

Watch out for stalkers.


Sorry for all the corny jokes.

Courtesy of my four year old

Q: What do baby corns call their daddy?

A: Popcorn

What does corn use to get on the internet?

The cobweb.

How much money do pirates pay for corn?

A buccaneer.

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

Who is the master of corn religion ?

The pope corn

I told the corn he wasn't fat, just a little husky.

He didn't know how to take the compliment tho I guess it went against the grain.

Why shouldn't the corn dog & the pig in a blanket have kids together?

They're both inbred.

just witnessed a chicken try and pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,

ImPeck-able

A corn walks into a bar...

And it says to the bartender:

"Hey, wanna hear a joke?"

The bartender agrees. The corn then asks:

"What did the traffic light say to the car?"

The bartender then says: "What?"

The corn says: "DON'T LOOK! I'M CHANGING!"

The bartender shakes his head in disapp...

Yesterday I stepped on a corn flake.

Now I am a sereal killer

What did the corn say when it was being followed?

“I’m being stalked!”

Sitting with my shoes off next to a warm campfire eating corn chips.

Tostitos

What did the corn boy say when he lost his kernels?

THIS SHUCKS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between an incontinent nymphomaniac and an epileptic corn farmer?

One shits and fucks and the other shucks in fits.

What did baby corn ask mother corn?

Where's pop corn?

What do you call corn with no balls?

Eunich corn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the corn say to his therapist?

How can a family with so many ears not hear my cries for help?

What do you get when you put 1 tsp each of almonds, oats, corn flakes, and raisins in a bowl?

A muesli/measly serving.

What does corn have in common with good friends?

You know you’ll see them again

Snuck up on a corn stalk

Pretty easy when they have no ears

Why did Mike Tyson plant marijuana instead of corn?

He was afraid he'd eat all of the ears.

Where do you throw corn?

In the corner

What does corn say when it's frustrated?

Aw shucks!


(Yes, I know this joke is very corny)

What did the corn cob say when all of its clothes fell off?

OOHH, SHUCKS!

I got a new job today selling corn to pirates.

A buck an ear.

Puzzled Girlfriend

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'
...

Not enjoying your corn at KFC?

Blame the kernel.

Feed a man corn and he will eat for a day

Teach a man to grow corn, he will kill your people and steal your land

I’ve got a great recipe for popcorn stuffed duck.

It’s called Quacker Jacks

what did the kid-corn say to the mom-corn

Wheres the popcorn

What do you call a potato and an ear of corn in a police car?

Starchy and Husk

What did the corn farmer say after he had a particularly good harvest?

There’s polenta more where that came from!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer trained his rooster to peel the husks off of corn

What a cock-shucker

I invented a new kind of corn

It has a very soft center so it is easy to poke the holders into it.

I call it... softcore corn.

Don't look it up on the internet.

What do you call the single grain of corn on the tree?

Acorn

Yo mama so fat...

she doesn’t have corn rows, she has crop circles.

Why did it take Knuckles seven days to escape the corn maze?

He didn’t know da wae.

A donkey and his farmer were hauling some corn on an old road

when a wheel broke, cracking the road underneath. The township sued the farmer for road repairs, but a judge dismissed the case stating "it's not the ass's fault asphalt has faults"

What’s a corn farmers favorite kind of dog

A Husky

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My relationship with corn is perfect.

It'll never turn to shit.

What did the magician say before he turned his assistant into an ear of corn?

Prepare to be a-maize-d

How much would a pirate sell corn for?

About a buck an ear.

What happens if you castrate a corn cob?

It becomes a eunuchcorn.

What do you call the children of the corns father?

Pop corn.

Mans wife finds 25,000 dollars and two ears of corn in a secret trunk at their home

Wife - Why are there two ears of corn in this trunk?

Husband - I kept a ear of corn every time I messed around on you.

Wife - Oh that’s not bad, 34 years of marriage and only messed around twice? What about the 25,000 dollars?

Husband - Every-time I collected a bushel I sold i...

Be sure to always whisper while in a corn maze

The walls have ears.

If you made a corn labyrinth in the likeness of a deceased television pitchman...

You'd have a Billy Mays maize maze.

TIL the creator of Corn Pops also invented Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, and Apple Jacks

His tombstone just says "cereal entrepreneur"

What the corniest part of a corn field?

The corner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is eating popcorn gay?

Because after all, you are eating a busted nut

I got lost in a corn field.

It was quite a maize.

Why do farmers play smooth jazz for their corn?

It's easy on the ears

Friends, Romans, Corn Futures Brokers,

Lend me your ears

I once accidentally poured glue in my son's corn flakes

He's never talked to me again

Saying Donald Trump is the same color as Kellogg's corn cereal is

flake news

What's the difference between candy corn and boogers?

Kids won't eat candy corn.

Donald Trump announced plans to stop subsidizing the corn industry

He's making America grain again.

A married man found a chest with 20k and 3 pieces of corn

Man: honey, I just found a chest with some interesting items inside

Woman: what is it?

Man: well there is 20,000 dollars inside and 3 pieces of corn

Woman: well that is my cheating chest, every time that I have cheated on you I put a piece of corn

The man thinks to h...

Hey girl, do you live in a corn field?

Because I'm stalking you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do grouchy people eat for breakfast?

Fucking corn flakes

What did the corn chip say to the light bulb?

Are you turned on? Because I'm Frito Lay

They have these new cream corn containers that look like milk cartons...

They call it Soft Pour Corn.

I love corn!

It's a food that always amaizes me.

I got a job peeling corn all day...

It really shucks.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.