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Strawberry Jokes

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A dumb kid walks into an ice cream shop...

Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.”

Clerk: “Sorry kid, we're out of chocolate.”

Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.”

Clerk: “No, no, you don't understand, it’s *chocolate* we're out of,”

Kid: “Ah, OK. Then gim...

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry

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It's a hot day at the end of summer, and ...

A man walks into a local ice cream parlor and looks at the menu and orders a single scoop of chocolate ice cream.


Employee: "Sorry, we're all out of chocolate ice cream today."


Customer: " Awhhh... well, okay." "Umm... lemme get a double scoop of chocolate ice cream." ...

What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry?

If you weren't so sweet and juicy we wouldn't be in this jam.

Why did the strawberry cross the road?

Because his buddy was in a jam.

How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch?

Paint it's toenails red.

Don't believe me? Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?

I made strawberry preserves today.

It was a jarring experience.

I matched with a tinder profile that had no pics.

We chatted a bit. Smart and funny so i asked for a date. She said yes!

I'm not expecting much, probably 400lbs. But she answered the door, this little strawberry blomde with a head full of curls and all the right curves in all the right places. We exchanged our real names and i asked what sh...

I have a strawberry growing out of my ear...

I went to see my doctor about it, and he told me to put some cream on it.

The vegetarian did not like the new strawberry jelly...

It just wasn’t his jam

What did the strawberry say before robbing a house?

"Hands up, this is a stroberry."

What town is Strawberry Fields in?

Nothing, Israel.

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Patient: I have a strawberry lodged in my anus.

Doctor: I have some cream for that.

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Woman comes into an ice cream store and the kid working says, “hi, what can I get for you?”

The woman says, “I need a gallon of chocolate, a gallon of vanilla, and a gallon of strawberry ice cream please.”

The kid says, “I can do the vanilla and strawberry but we’re out of chocolate.”

Oh, “says the woman, disappointed. Then just get me a pint of chocolate, a pint of vanilla, ...

Why did the little strawberry cry?

Because her mother was in a jam.

Orange, apple, strawberry...

April foods!

Where does Strawberry milk come from anyway?

To the best of my knowledge, Strawberries do not have nipples.

Why couldn’t the strawberry shoot it’s gun?

Because it was jammed

How do you make a strawberry shake?

You put it in the freezer!

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So a guy walks into an ice cream shop..

He asks the clerk 'hello sir may I have a quart of vanilla?'

The clerk politely responds 'Im sorry we're fresh out of vanilla'

The man clearly disappointed says 'ah shucks alright I guess I'll just take a pint of vanilla'

The clerk slightly agitated states 'Sir we are complet...

Why was the baby strawberry crying?

Because his mom and dad were in a jam

Why won't a truffle and a portobello mushroom take strawberry to the bar?

Why won't a truffle and a portobello mushroom take strawberry to the bar?

.

..

...

....

Because strawberry is not fun guy!

What's the difference between a strawberry and a pencil?

One's a fruit, you idiot.

homophobic strawberry

A strawberry walks up to his friend the eggplant and asks him what he thinks of the tomato. The eggplant answers "I don't know, he seems like an alright guy. Why? What do you think of him?" The strawberry answers "I don't know, man. He seems like kind of a fruit".

What do you call a crayon that looks like a strawberry?

A cranberry.

A woman goes to the doctor, and says "I've got a strawberry stuck in my ass".

The doctor says "I can give you some cream for that".

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A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

A poor man was looking for a job

For weeks he couldn't find one, and he barely had any money left when he found a job at a company as a bathroom cleaner. He went to the office, and after discussing with the boss, he got the job "One thing," said the boss, "I'll need to send you our policy to sign via email". The man looked at him ...

I left my house and noticed the door wouldn't close because it kept hitting a container of strawberry jam

Guess you could say the door was held ajar

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My friend told me this joke a while ago, and I thought that it was pretty good:

A man goes to a restaurant and sits down to eat.

The waiter comes by and asks him what he would like to eat.

The man says, “I’ll have one of your world-famous burgers with lettuce and onions on it.”

The waiter responds, “I’m sorry sir, but we’re fresh out of onions.”

“Oh,...

A group of moles are hibernating for the winter in a burrow by a small farm on the countryside

One morning, one of the moles pops his head out of the hole.

“I smell maple syrup in the air!” Says the mole, “every start of spring the farmer’s wife cooks pancakes. It’s time for us to leave!”

The mole leaves the burrow. And a second mole sticks his head out.

“He’s onto someth...

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A guy is driving down a long road one night.

All of a sudden a little green man jumps Infront of his car, forcing him to stop.
The little man goes up to the window and says "I'm the asshole green dwarf, give me a lime or else!" The man is flustered and says "But I don't have a lime".
The dwarf breaks his driver side mirror and runs away....

My wife is like a delicious strawberry popsicle.

Cold on the inside and 90% artificial.

An 18-wheeler spilled a load of strawberry preserves on the interstate today

It was a real traffic jam

Who do you hang out with, a strawberry, a celery stick or a mushroom?

The mushroom because he's a fungi.

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