What do you call strawberries playing the guitar?

A jam session.

Where does Strawberry milk come from anyway?

To the best of my knowledge, Strawberries do not have nipples.

My grandma was known all over town for her delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so that everyone could visit her and enjoy them. I fulfilled her wish.

She’s dead and berried.

A woman goes to the gates of heaven

She is perplexed and confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter.

She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of strawberries, frosting, and tiering at every station.

Finally, she seems to recog...

On the freeway, a truck spilled its cargo of strawberries, which were then crushed by the cars followed behind.

Caused a traffic jam.

A Women enters a grocery store

"What are these round green things back there?" she asks the cashier

"Those are apples ma'am" he responds

"Ok, can I have a kilo... ...and pack only one per bag please"

next the women walks up to another shelf and aks:

"What are those orange things i am looking at here?...

A couple in their 80's

A couple in their 80’s were having problems remembering thngs, so they decided to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man bursts into a doctor’s surgery. “Doctor, doctor! I’ve got strawberries coming out of my anus!”

The doctor asks if the man would like some cream for it

In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell?

Medicine

... runs off ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys walk into a bar

They go up to the barman who asks them what they want to drink. One guy asks for a pint and the other a vodka and coke. The barman reaches under the bar and produces the pint, then reaches under the bar and produces an apple.

The second man asks the barman he is doing so the barman tells him ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was watching this gardening show...

... and the presenter, a renown gardener, was talking about how great it is to mix in cow dung with your strawberries.

Don't do it, it tastes like shit, stick to whipped cream and white sugar !

One man goes to India and visits a Buddhist Monastery

He saw some old monks meditating around the garden but was perplexed not to see any young monks around. "Is Buddhism dying?", he thought. Right after that, he sees a young monk entering a building with some bags of flour and sugar and decides to follow him.

What he found was stunning. On one...

A man’s last meal

So a prisoner is about to be executed and the guards ask him,
“What do you want your last meal to be?”

“Strawberries”he responds.

“But it’s winter. We can’t get strawberries until spring”

“Eh. I’ll wait”

An old man is traveling to a far off land, but is arrested in a city named Runnia along the way.

The townspeople of Runnia are convinced that he was the murderer of Barth F. Bradley, the local butcher. Though there is not much evidence of the claim, a witness claims he saw the old man leave Bradley's shop on the night of the murder. The townspeople, who were always suspicious of strangers, cons...

What do you call research involving Eggs, Strawberries and Altoids?

An Eggs-Berry-Mint

GMO

Woman comes to fruit market and she is looking at some beautiful strawberries

She asks the shopkeeper : are these strawberries GMO?

Shopkeeper : no

Strawberries : **oh yes we are**

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things.

Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish o...

Did you hear about the truck full of sugar that collided with the truck full of strawberries?

Created one hell of a jam.

Three prisoners are about to be executed. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.

The Italian asks for pepperoni pizza, which he is served and then taken away.

The Frenchmen requests a filet mignon, which he is served and also taken away.

The Jewish man requests a plate of strawberries.

The captors are surprised and reply: “Strawberries?”


“Yes, Str...

What do you call blueberries, raspberries and strawberries inside of a hidden chest?

Berried Treasure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kindergarten teacher was playing a game with her class

The game involved little hard candies, handing one of each flavor to every student. She told her students to eat the red ones first, then guess what it tastes like. They all ate the red one and after a few minutes they guessed it tasted like Strawberries, they were correct. Next the teacher had them...

Warden to guy on Death Row

Hey Fella, what do you want for your last meal??

Strawberries!

Warden responds... They’re out of Season

Then I’ll wait!

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