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Deaf Person Jokes

What did the deaf person think when he won the auction?

I’ve won, but at what cost?

If a deaf person has to go to court...

Is it still called a hearing?

What do you call it when a deaf person flips you off?

A finger of speech!

If you ever rob a deaf person, be sure to break their hands.

Who're they gonna tell?

I heard a terrible joke about a deaf person yesterday.

They didn't though.

Calling a colour-blind person racist is like calling a deaf person....

It's ironic

If a deaf person has to go to court...

...is it still a hearing?



I am hard of hearing myself, I found it funny. I am going to hell.

A man and a deaf person are in a conversation

After a few minutes, they run out of things to talk about.
They stand there for a time, and then the man signs: "The conversation's gone quiet now, hasn't it?"


The deaf person then signs "How should I know?"

How do you end two deaf persons' arguing?

Switch off the light.

How does a deaf person accept a package?

They sign for it

What do you call it when a deaf person faceplants into quicksand?

Lip sinking.

I just got reminded of my ex-wife who is deaf, she left me for another deaf person.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

I think a deaf person has a crush on me

She's giving all the right signs

What does a gynecologist and a deaf person have in common?

They're pretty good at reading lips.

Why did the UPS driver give the package to the deaf person?

Because they signed for it

What do you call it when a deaf person has parkinson's?

A stutter.

(I just made this up and feel terrible and couldn't find the "I'm going to hell" sub so here ya go!)

How do you surprise a blind and deaf person?

Stick a plunger in their toilet.

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian?

One talks with his hands and makes goofy noises, and the other one can't hear.

Did you hear about the deaf person who was cut up but was surprisingly happy about the whole thing?

The headline was: Mutilated mute elated

I was chatting with a deaf person on omegle.

He asked me "ASL?".

While visiting Beethoven's grave, this Deaf person learned from the other Hearings that there is symphony playing backward from below the grave because Beethoven is..

De-composing.

So it’s bad manners for a person to talk with food in their mouth…

Is it also bad manners for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?







How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?







Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

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