What did the deaf person think when he won the auction?

I’ve won, but at what cost?

I heard a terrible joke about a deaf person yesterday.

They didn't though.

If a deaf person has to go to court...

its still considered a hearing.

If a deaf person has to go to court...

...is it still a hearing?

I am hard of hearing myself, I found it funny. I am going to hell.

What do you call it when a deaf person faceplants into quicksand?

Lip sinking.

What do a gynecologist and a deaf person have in common?...

They both can read lips

I just got reminded of my ex-wife who is deaf, she left me for another deaf person.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

If you ever rob a deaf person, be sure to break their hands.

Who're they gonna tell?

How does a deaf person accept a package?

They sign for it

Calling a colour-blind person racist is like calling a deaf person....

It's ironic

What do you call it when a deaf person has parkinson's?

A stutter.

(I just made this up and feel terrible and couldn't find the "I'm going to hell" sub so here ya go!)

Why did the UPS driver give the package to the deaf person?

Because they signed for it

I think a deaf person has a crush on me

She's giving all the right signs

If a deaf person is missing a finger...

...do they speak with a lisp?

How do you end two deaf persons' arguing?

Switch off the light.

While visiting Beethoven's grave, this Deaf person learned from the other Hearings that there is symphony playing backward from below the grave because Beethoven is..


How do you surprise a blind and deaf person?

Stick a plunger in their toilet.

Did you hear about the deaf person who was cut up but was surprisingly happy about the whole thing?

The headline was: Mutilated mute elated

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian?

One talks with his hands and makes goofy noises, and the other one can't hear.

I was chatting with a deaf person on omegle.

He asked me "ASL?".

So it’s bad manners for a person to talk with food in their mouth…

Is it also bad manners for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

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