Pregnant wife: What should we call it if it’s a girl?

**me:** Herbert

**pregnant wife:** but what if it’s a b-

**me:** Himbert

A girl promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologises again.

Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend gets up and goes to walk out ...

I met a Jewish girl and she asked for my number.

I told her we use names here.

Hey girl, are you a newspaper?

Because there’s a new issue with you every single day

Funny when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud...

But when a girl sleeps with a tons of guys, somehow I am not one of them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year-old Italian girl tells her mother she missed her period for two moths.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Fer...

Girls who talks about girls' problems are great.

But girls who talk about environmental problems are Greta.

Son: "Dad, I fell in love and want to date this girl"

Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"

Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, bu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl asks her mother, “Mommy, how was I born?”

Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied: “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So w...

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had
any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the
porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"


Delighted, the girl quickly responded,
"How about $50?"

...

My friend Jay recently had twin girls, and wanted to name them after him.

So I suggested Kaye and Elle.

So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "Caution, I'm a maneater". I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "Excuse me, Miss...about your shirt."

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted, "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."

I looked at her, confused and said,"That'...

Today a girl kissed me

I wish I could post it in another subreddit

Yesterday I went for a walk with a beautiful girl

When she noticed me, we went for a run

How do you tell the difference between a boy ghost and a girl ghost?

Their booooobs.

What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl told me she wanted to be "just friends".

I said "Can we be friends with benefits?".

She said "So, you just want sex?".

I said "No, I want you to add me on your health insurance.".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy and a girl are on their third date.

They haven't done anything more than kissing and the guy was getting a little bit desperate for action. So after a movie and some food he suggest they take a drive up the mountain to get a view of the city. (and some privacy before taking her home). Up there in the car they start kissing. He makes a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

The girl at the Delta check-in desk said, "Window or aisle?"

I replied, "Window or you'll what?"

I dated a girl with a lazy eye once.

I left her though, because she was seeing someone on the side.

I met a girl crying outside a mall.

I asked her what's wrong, she said she lost 200$. So I gave her 40$ from the 200$ I picked up at the entrance.
When god blesses you, you must bless others.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once dated a girl who had a twin.

People kept asking me how I could tell them apart. Easy.

Jill paints her nails purple. John has a dick.

Me- "Do you know in middle east most of married girls can't even vote on Facebook opinion poll".

Friend- "That's not true, there is no such law anywhere in middle east".
Me- "Yeah, but you need to be above 13 to use Facebook".

I used to be a boy in a girls body

Then I came out of my mom

I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched.

So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn't expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom.

I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5'2", baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all the...

I got a handj*b from a blind girl.

She said it was the biggest d\*ck she ever put her hands on.

I said, "No, you're just pulling my leg!"

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

He said, “Try the ATM outside”

A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.

Schwepped her off her feet.

An eight-year-old girl went to the office with her father...

...on Take Your Kid to Work day. As they were walking around the office, the young girl started crying and getting very upset.

Her father asked what was wrong. As staff were gathering around, she sobbed loudly "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked a mute girl if she wants to have sex with me. Told her to clap once for "yes", twice for "no".

She said yes yes!

Two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the Lottery.

To my horror they were right, we had six matching balls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you a reddit user?

Because you give me the same fucking shit, day after day!

Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me if I wanted to see a movie. She asked, “What would you like to see?”

I said, “You pick.”

She said, “You pick.”

I said, “I don’t care. You pick.”

She said, “Sir, there are people behind you waiting to buy tickets.”

Boy: *Kissing girl on couch* You wanna take this upstairs?

Girl: Hehe sure baby

Boy: Sweet! Grab the other end, I can't carry it by myself

What does a black rectangle have in common with the girl I met last night?

>!you tap it once and it's gone!<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a girl comes home crying, upset that her boyfriend had just dumped her.

Devastated, she starts trashing the place, smashing pictures of her ex-boyfriend and knocking things off shelves, rampaging from room to room. In her mother’s bedroom she rips down the curtains, jumps on the bed and smashes some mirrors. She finally calms down enough to notice that a small secret dr...

If i had a dollar for every girl that didn't find me attractive,

they'd eventually find me attractive.

When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned

Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl with 12 boobs sounds weird.

dozen tit

What makes every girl wet?

Water.

I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.

But I broke it off

What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?

"Smell ya later!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buck was selling his car and and girl name Kelly was interested in buying it. He said it’s $4,000. She thought a minute and said, “How about $3000 and a blow job?” He said that sounds great . . .

He was happy he got the Kelly Blew Buck price.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a guy and a girl are on a date, when they walk past a pond with swans in it.

The girl turns to the guy and says “I can talk to animals.” The guy looks at the girl and says “I gotta see this!” So the girl turns to the swans and says,

“HEY SWANS, FUCK YOU!”

A guy takes a girl home

Once there, she takes off her clothes, throws herself on the bed and yells:

\- Come! Make me feel like a woman!

He stares, takes off his clothes, throws them on the bed and says:

\- Wash them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Been chatting to a 14 year old girl online....

She's really cute and sexy, and now shes just told me shes an undercover cop!

How fucking cool is that for somebody her age

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a guy and his gf are making out

and the girl tells the guy she really wants to do 69. The guy agrees but remembers his girl is on her period so he declines. The Gf begs and he finally agrees, thinking a little bit of blood can’t be too bad.

After they get going and are having a good time, the doorbell rings.

“Oh sh...

Who is the hottest girl in the world?

Medusa because whenever I stare at her I’m rock hard.

A girl was arguing with her boyfriend.

"All my friends tell me stories about how their boyfriends take them for rides with Lamborghini's and Porsche's!" she told him. "Why don't you ever do something like that? You are boring as hell!"

The boy was very upset about this, but there wasn't much he could do. He had no car, no money to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said “son, that’s three schools this year...

...maybe teaching isn’t for you.”

Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW My friend found a girl tied to the train tracks.

He told me he untied her and they went back to his place, I asked what they got up to and he said they had sex all night. Impressed by this I asked him if he got any head to which he said Nah I couldn’t find it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A train hits a bus full of Catholic highschool girls

They all arrive at the pearly gates, waiting in line to enter heaven.

St. Peter asks the first girl, "Mary, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Well, dip the tip of your f...

Five years ago I asked the girl of my dreams to go on a date with me. Today, I asked her to marry me.

She said no both times.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl was in class talking to her teacher.

"I had a kitty who stuttered." Said the little girl. "I was in the back yard with it when a Rottweiler that lives next door jumped over the fence into our yard!"

“That must've been scary!” said the teacher.

“It sure was", said the little girl. "My little kitty raised his back and wen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van when suddenly the girl, yells out "Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"

The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the aerial off the van and proceeds to whip the girl until they bothcollapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, the girl no...

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

I went to a costume party dressed as an egg and I met a girl dressed as a chicken.

I said to her "So are we going to find out, or what?"

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why's the groom wearing black?"

What’s the hottest thing about trans girls?

You know they’re all squirters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once dated a girl that owned a parrot. That thing would never shut the fuck up.

The parrot was cool, though.




^Originally ^an ^Anthony ^Jeselnik ^joke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Does anyone else hate it when a girl pulls the “I have a boyfriend” line on you when you aren’t even remotely interested in her?

...My wife really acts fucking strange sometimes.

I asked this girl if she would date me.

She said that she left her accelerator mass spectrometer at home.

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.

She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde, brunette, and redhead mom go to a cafe....

They had each stolen their daughters purses to see what their girls did in their free time.

The redhead mom opens her daughters purse first and finds a pack of cigarettes. “Oh my God, Debbie smokes! I am going to kill her!”

The brunette mom opens her daughter’s purse second, holding ...

I dated an African girl....

we just clicked

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings

The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my best friend who lives on a farm is playing in a field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him...

A little girl says to her mother: "Mummy, when you were away at work a strange lady came around"

"Not now," says Mummy. "Wait until Daddy gets home."

So they wait until Daddy gets home, and then Mummy says "Now dear, what were you saying about Daddy and the strange lady?"

And Daddy starts to say something but Mummy says, "You keep quiet - I'll be talking to my attorney in the morn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a girl who don’t suck dick?

A cab.

How to get any girl in the world

Step Number 1: Be handsome and hot

Step Num- wAit... you didn’t follow step 1. Do that first

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl asked me what it's like to have a dick

It has it's ups and downs

It's hard sometimes

There are three girls, one named Tulip, one named Daisy, and one named Brick.

One day, three girls and their mom are walking down the street. One is named Tulip, one is named Daisy, and one is named Brick. Tulip asks, "Mommy, why am I named Tulip?", "Oh, because a bunch of Tulips fell on you when you were born," Her mom said. "Well, why am I named Daisy?", "Because a bunch of...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl and a boy go to Sunday school together,

They sit on the same table next to each other. The girl falls asleep on the desk with her head on her arms.

Soon, the leader asks a question, “Who is our lord and saviour?” The boy pulls a drawing pin from the display board and pokes the sleeping girl in the arm. She wakes up with a start and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you cum on a sad girl?

A download.

Why are all the girls jealous of medusa?

Cause any guy that looks at her gets rock hard

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was walking to a bar, when he saw a girl tied to some railroad tracks

He went and untied her, following which one thing led to another and they had a lot of sex.

When he finally got to the bar, his friends asked why he was so late. He then told them about the girl he found and how they made sweet love in multiple positions on the side of the tracks. Naturally, ...

So I was sucking off this girl the other day when I thought..

Hol’ up..

What's the downside to cumming on the face of the girl you like?

Having to clean the monitor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane...

Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just met a cute girl named Kidding.

I wish I was fucking kidding.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Jersey girls use as protection during sex?

Bus shelters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A college girl was desperate to pass a poetry class for which she was almost failing...

For the final exam, the professor announced the challenge of the year: he wanted the students to write something confident. Philosophical. Something that really meant "no worries."

Everyone went home and stayed up all night writing their final exam poetry, the girl including.

The next ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day after sex, my girl told me she used to be a Christian.

Me: "It doesn't worry me at all, babe."

Her: "Awesome! I really so much prefer being a Christine."

I met a girl in a bar.

“Can I buy you a drink?" I asked.

"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends.”

"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please.”

A few...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom.

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom. One day, while she was browsing through a shop on her own, she spotted a really beautiful doll. It would make a perfect addition to her collection. She only hoped she had enough money to buy it.

...

The Ugly Girl

Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Akpos walked straight to the ugly girl.

**Akpos:** Hello!

**Ugly girl:** Hi!!

**Akpos:** Wanna dance?

**Ugly Girl:** Yes (excited)

**Akpos:** OK, Go and dance, I wanna talk to...

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No, because the dog is in heat." "What does that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."

The little girl went to the garage and asked "Dad, may I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Susie was in heat, and to come talk to you."
Dad said, " Bring Susie over here" He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear-end with it and said,...

A girl asked if I was into S&M. I don't really know a lot about music, but she was cute so I said "sure."

She must have figured out I was lying because she beat the hell out of me.

The Spice Girls want to remind you to set your clocks back an hour tonight.

Because tonight is the night, when two becomes one.

I'm dating a girl whose arms measure identically to mine when extended.

I think we're on the same wavelength.

What do you call a curvy girl who voted for Trump?

Thick with 3 K’s

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar

They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Son: "I fell in love with a beautiful girl."

Father: "That's great, do I know her?"

Son: "Yes, it is Andrea who lives across the street."

Father: "Oh that is bad, I am sorry, don't tell this to your mom but Andrea is your sister."

The boy is upset, but accepts the truth.

After few months he comes to his dad again...

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her mother that she has missed her period for two months.

And this joke has been reposted 19 times.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beware of Thai girls claiming that the penis was only imaginary.

The length is always real.

My mother hates every girlfriend that I’ve ever brought home. So I brought home a girl that looks like my mother, acts like my mother, even sounds like my mom

Now my father hates her.

Bad pickup line: Dang girl, you smell like garbage...

Can I take you out?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats does a 9 volt battery and girls butt hole have in common.

You arnt suppose to lick it but you do anyways.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a girl on her period who masturbates?

Bloody wanker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl promised to have sex with me if I would advertise bathroom cleaner on r/jokes

I refused of course because my moral principles are extremely strong.

Just as strong as new Cif multi-action cleaner in the 750ml spray bottle, now available in Original, Lemon Fresh or Forest Pine!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl uses chemicals to remove the polish, and it's fine.

I use chemicals to remove the Polish, and I'm suddenly a nazi?

A girl is pregnant

She says to her dad,” Dad I’m pregnant.”
The dad says,” Hi pregnant, I’m Dad.”
The girl replies,”Yeah, you are.”

I’ve been dating this blind girl and things have been going pretty good. Recently though I sent her a message in Braille...

It’s been like a week and she’s left me on Felt.

I worry she doesn’t see a future for this relationship

The differences between a Girl friend, and a Girlfriend

Is the gap between them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was having sex with a girl I met at a bar...

The girl said "fuck me with all nine inches and make it hurt!"

So I fucked her three times and hit her with a hammer.

I told my wife that a girl at work really wanted to have a threesome and that I should see if my wife would be ok with it? After some persuading, and reassuring her that it would strengthen out relationship she said yes, so today we finally did it, and it was amazing!

I cant wait to tell her all about it when she gets home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful girl is like a fine wine.

But you still can’t just lock her in the basement until she’s old enough.

I was bragging to my friends about how I had a date coming up with this hot girl...

My friends laughed and made fun of me, saying that she probably doesn't even exist.

But the joke's on them, because they don't exist either!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) I was having mind blowing sex last night with this German girl.

It was incredible, my only concern was she kept screaming her age.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a girl is uncomfortable watching you masturbate, do you think:

A. She is a prude and you have no future together.

B. You two should spend more time together so she can get used to that level of openness.

C. She should have sat somewhere else on the train?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman pregnant with triplets , 2 girls and a boy, was walking down the street when she was shot 3 times in the stomach

Somehow, miraculously , she and all 3 of her babies survived. 19 years later she’s at a family reunion and her first daughter comes up to her , visibly shaken. She says “mom, I just pissed out a bullet and I’m freaking out!” She sits down and holds her head in her hands , panicking. The mom figures ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once dated a girl with severe Eczema...

She had a cracking pair of tits!

Hey girl, are you a communist?

Because I'd love to seize your means of reproduction ;)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a girl in front of me at the checkout, she had one apple, one pear, one toothbrush, one cup o noodle, and one can of soup.

I leaned over and said, "You're single arent you.."

She says, "Yes, but how did you know?"

I said, "Because you're ugly as fuck!"

A little girl goes up to a preacher one day to confess her sins

"I believe I am guilty of the sin of vanity," the girl told the preacher.

To which the preacher responds "Why do you think that."

The girl tells him "Well every morning I look at myself in the mirror and think about how beautiful I am"

Then the preacher tells the girl "Oh don't ...

When I was in grade school a girl showed me her "peepee". I showed mine, teacher caught it.

And then they fired me.

I used to be a guy in a girl's body

Then I pulled out.

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk.
"Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."

I’ve just brought a dyslexic girl home

She cooked my sock

A conductor kissed a girl on the bus

He was arrested and the police gave him electric shocks but it had no effect.
Because he was a bad conductor.

Sorry guys.

One of the soprano girls in my choir class says she can't sing her part.

She says she descant.

I asked a girl out, she said I wasn’t her type

I guess she wasn’t polymorphic

A boy asks a girl to prom

So there's this boy in highschool, around 16 years old and he very nervously and timidly asks this beautiful girl out to prom. Out of his league and the most beautiful I'm the school. He's shocked and quite startled when he hears "id love to go!" Leave her lips.
Short on time with days till or, h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax Spray n’ Wipe, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?

At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.


At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed....

How does a Memphis girl turn on her bedroom light?

She opens the car door...

Girl, we’re just like Romeo and Juliet

Cuz my family hates you and I want to kill myself.

Hey girl are you today’s date

Cause you lookin like a 1/10

*Cowboy walks into a saloon and approaches the biggest guy there*, “What’s yer name partner?” “My names Terry.” He replied. “Terry?! That’s a girls name!”

Poor Nameless Cowboy.

Died from dissin’ Terry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you from Iraq?

Coz you look Saddam fine when you Baghdad ass up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy asks a girl if she wants to hear a joke about his penis. He then says, ”Nevermind, it’s too long.”

The girl asks if he wants to hear a poem about her vagina. She says, ”Nevermind, it's too deep.”

Why didn't the hero get the girl?

She had a speech disorder.

A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150.

He is a pickup artist.

A little girl stands before a judge at her custody hearing

The judge asks "would you like to live with your mom?"

The little girl, horrified, shakes her head and says, "No! My mom beats me. I never want to live with her!"

The judge, taken aback a bit, says, "We can give custody to your father, and you can live with him."

"No!" The littl...

My friend started calling the girls I was interested in very bad snipers

Because not even they would take me out.

At a restaurant, a girl asked me if I was single.

I said yes, and then she took the chair in front of me,

What do you call a Korean high school girl who fights crime in spare time?

Kimchi Possible, obviously

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was ...

A girl runs under a church awning to escape the rain.

A priest at the door greets her. "Are you all right, my dear?"

"Oh yes, I'm fine!" she exclaims. "It's just absolutely pouring rain!"

Suddenly, the sky opens up, and water begins to cascade down as if pouring from an enormous faucet.

"*Wow!*" the girl shouts. "Now it's *really*...

A woman goes to the doctor's to have a strange mark on her tummy looked at. The doctor said, "Do you by any chance have a boyfriend who attends Wisconsin University?"

Confused, the girl asks, "Why do ask?"

The doc chuckles, "I'm not just a doctor, I'm also an amateur detective. It looks like your lover likes to wear a sweater with the initial letter of their university emblazoned on the front. It's mildly abrasive quality has been rubbing on your skin."...

Dang girl, are you a pumpkin?

Because they call me Peter Peter.

Happy Halloween!

I asked a pregnant woman if it's going to be a boy or a girl.

"They're questioning," she replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between an American teenage girl and an Arabian teenage girl?

The American teenage girl gets stoned before sex.

Me - "Arab countries are so backward, there most of married girls can't even vote on Soacial Media polls without asking their husbands."

Friend - "That's not the truth, there is no such law Arab countries"
Me - "But you need to have a guardian permission to sign up into Social Media if you are less than 13 years old"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a guy and a girl are making out and begin having sex on the hood of her Honda civic, suddenly the man stops.

He said, im sorry i can only only have sex on my own Accord

Hey girl, are you from IKEA?

'Cause my wife and I are going to have a fight over you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When a girl calls you daddy.

Her: Fuck me daddy!

Me: Sure thing sport.

I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.

Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".

Hey girl, are you missing your pants?

Because I can give you some of my genes.

A little girl went to her dad’s baseball game.

Her dad is an MLB player. He’s famous for bunting the ball. The little girl doesn’t understand. She thinks the point is to the swing all the way with the bat.

So, next time he bunted, the girl shouted, much to the shock of the crowd, “HARDER DADDY!”

I was in a relationship with a blind girl.

It was rewarding, but challenging.

It took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.