What’s the male version of a Karen called?

I don’t know but a group of them is called a Senate.

My son is a male trapped in a female's body, so we took him to a psychiatrist.

For some reason, the doc kicked us out when we told him our son was due in in 3 months.

A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, "Give it to me straight doc!"

The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male." They both laugh and the doctor says, "Besides, I don't want AIDS."

How does a male farmer win the heart of a female farmer?

Attract her.

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I dreamt I was forced to work on a pirate ship. The captain was the supreme authority and only allowed males. Plus the only food allowed was potatoes.

It was a dick tater ship.

What happens when you add "iron" to a male?

It becomes a **Fe**male.

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How are riot police like male porn stars?

They don't have to shoot you in the face, they just want to.

Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Scientists discovered that brains of male parents irreversibly change after their first child was born

They become brain-dad

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

**Man:** What's the problem officer?
**Cop:** You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
**Man:** No sir, I was going 65.
**Wife:** Oh Harry. You were going 80.
*(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)*
**Cop:** I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
*...

I changed from a male to a female.

I've been trans formed.

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Life cycle of the male sex drive

Age 16-32 : Tri-weekly

Ages 32-55: Try-weekly

Over 55: Try-weakly

A 17 year old male walks into a drug store.

He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, if you know what I mean" Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after paying walks to the door, stops, smiles, comes back: "y...

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Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, and enticing Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.


The males are speechless before the hottie, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.


Aware of her c...

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A famous explorer visits a tribe of all-male natives in the Amazon and asks “how do you guys sexually satisfy yourself?”

The chief replies: “Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have s...

A farmer is trying to grow hydroponic potatoes, but he starts them in test tubes. This results in the potatoes being long with a round bulge at the top, so they look like male genitals.

The farmer tries to sell them to anyone and eventually even posts them online, where he surprisingly starts getting more orders than he can fill; and all from Russia. He’s surprised but grows another batch and they sell out again. He starts worrying there might be something illegal going on so he go...

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Male pornstars have the worst job.

It’s always a hard day at work.

If Caitlyn Jenner were to revert back to being male, she would be...

...a TransFormer

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A male gorilla at the zoo had been separated from his mate for several months and was really horney.

One night after the zoo had closed and all the animal keepers had left, he decided he was going to tear the bars apart and screw the first thing he could find. As he left his cage and ran through the zoo he came upon a lion sleeping in the grass. He really wasn't thrilled with his find but since he ...

Male or Female Shipping

So I was purchasing something online and I asked the wife if we should get Male or Female Shipping.

She was like what does that mean?

I said, do you want it to come quick or slow and maybe not at all.



I think I just made this up.

Did you hear the mobster tell the punchline of the joke about the famous British chef that was skewered, clean through, after falling onto more than one male Bighorn sheep?

"Gored on rams, see?"

Are male and female reproductive organs similar?

No. There’s a vas deferens.

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Fun fact: When a praying mantis gets laid, the male is the one giving head to the female.

Still though, it was the best sex of his life.

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

..their new slogan? The Quicker Pecker Upper.

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A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, pleas...

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Two statues (one nude male, one nude female) sit beside each other at the entrance of Central Park…

One day, very early in the morning, an angel comes down from heaven. He looks the statues up and down, and with a flick of his wrist, \*POOF!\* he turns the statues into real people.

The man and woman stare at each other in amazement, but their attention soon turns to the angel, who's quite s...

The male organ is confused.

It doesn't know whether it's coming or going.

Did you hear about the beach that was into both male and female beaches?

It was bicoastal.

There is a new male contraceptive device. It’s a pill,

you put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.

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A male donkey is called an ass

A female donkey is called an asset

Day 13 of being in quarantine as a 20 year old male

It's been 7300 days since i last touched a girl

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It's been said that male cows don't defecate.

That's bullshit.

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Scientists have recently created a new hybrid by mating a male donkey and a female deer.

It isn't very beautiful, but that ass doe

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(NSFW) So I bought some new male chickens to put on my farm. I just got them home today.

It was a successful cock transplant.

How can you differentiate male ants from female ants?

They're all female, otherwise they'd be called uncles

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A male whale is with his girlfriend female whale

The male suggests that they go below a human boat and blow through their blowholes.

"C'mon, it will be fun!" He said.
The girlfriend replyed "Ok, anything for you honey."

And so they go below a boat with humans on it and they blow.
The boat went flying, and fell on its side.
<...

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A nurse goes into a room to shave a male patient before his appendectomy.

When she comes out of his room a few minutes later, she is on the verge of laughing hysterically. The other nurses ask her what she’s laughing about. She tells them that the patient has a tattoo on his penis that says “TiNY”. One by one each nurse goes in and comes back out giggling about the man’s ...

A female crab sees a male crab walking in a straight line

Amazed by the crab's rare gait, she is smitten.

She asks him to marry her, and he happily agrees.

The next day, she notices that he is walking normally in a zigzag pattern.

She is shocked. She asks him why he is walking in this manner now.

He replies, "Baby, I can't be th...

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A male and a female martians swapped partners with an earth couple

The Martian male was fucking the earth female but she told him that his penis was too small so he pulled his left ear and his penis became longer then she told him that it's too thin so he pulled his right ear and his penis became wider and the earth female became very happy. The next night the eart...

Scientists have discovered that Male frogs have a mating call that is different from their normal sounds

"Rub it Rub it"

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When a male ISIS terrorist go to heaven, they meet 10.000 virgins.

They are all male ISIS terrorists.

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Delivering the male (my cake day contribution)

It was John's last day delivering the mail. He had been doing so for 4o years and was about to retire.

Most of the families greeted him warmly and handed him an envelope presumably with a small monetary gift inside.

But when he arrived at the Jones' house the woman there pulled him ins...

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I heard that heroin works as a male enhancement.

But I think that's poppycock.

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Two drunk male friends were walking in Alaska

They stopped a man and asked him:
- do you have white women here in Alaska
- yes we do
- do you have black women here in Alaska
- few of them but yes
- do you have women whom skin is mix of black and white here in Alaska
- how is that even possible
- one of them to his frie...

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What is another name for Male Sex Toys or Technology you use?

Erectronics

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[nsfw] so apparently adult male whales have a 10 foot long penis when fully erect

The only thing i dont get is how rebel wilson fits it in her pants

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What do you call a polar bear that exhibits rapid mood swings like that of a manic depressive, can live in both the arctic and antarctic, and shows equal sexual attraction to both male and female partners?

A bipolar bi-polar bi polar bear.

A C.O. noticed something on patrol. He called his shift lead to tell him a subject was climbing down a makeshift rope, from a hole in Q4 dorm's outer wall. The subject was male, aprox. 3' 8" in height, wearing orange. The shift lead laughed over the radio, asking if he was sure of the sighting.

The C.O. later stated, it was definitely a little con descending.

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The Male Anatomy

Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show, where you have to answer questions to win the cash prize.


Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out befo...

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At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other.

The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.

After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and ...

Problem with pay equality is that men tend to go for higer paying jobs

...like doctors or directors. While females tend to settle with lesser paying ones like female doctors or female directors.

I asked to speak with male pharmacist

I walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman I was speaking with said she was the only pharmacist and since she and her sister owned the store, there were no male employees.
She asked if she could help me. I said that I really would have preferred to speak with a m...

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It must be easy to make it as a male pornstar

It seems like every single one of them is up and coming.

Why do male dogs float in water?

Because they’re good buoys

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A male whale and a female whale

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same...

A male kangaroo told me to get off my phone

Ok boomer

What do you call a black flying male cat?



Tom Crows....

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Four older gentlemen are out golfing, sharing about their lives and eventually the topic of their children's professional success is brought up. The first guy steps up, hurriedly takes his shot, wiffs the ball off into the woods, and starts walking to find his ball without saying a word...

The second man steps up to take his shot and confidently reports, "My son is doing pretty well. He's just been promoted to manager of the car dealership he works at. In fact, he's doing so well gave the last lady he was seeing a brand new sports car." Then he takes takes a swing and drives the ball ...

Why can't two male doctors marry each other?

Because it would be a paradocs.

A man went to the doctor for male performance problem.

“Do you think the booze could be an issue?” Asks the doctor.

“Maybe not the booing so much as her slow, ironic clapping.”

In an alternate reality where fences are females and posts are male...

A teenage post teases that his friend is taking another post to prom. The friend says, "Hey! I take a fence to that!"

What’s the common point between a man and a male praying mantis?

No head after marriage.

What’s a male musician’s biggest weakness?

D and Bs

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students...

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing

out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and

the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking

this rule will be fined $20 the first ti...

As a male, if a girl gets undressed in front of you, she is either interested in you or you're level 100 friendzoned

Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet.

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Someone once told me that male cows can't poop...

I thought about it for a second before I realized; that's just bullshit

How can you tell if an ant is male or female?

Throw it in water. If it sinks, its a girl ant, otherwise its buoyant

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I got ripped off by a male prostitute

He never came

When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body

Then I was born

ME: I trained this chicken to talk.

HER: Let's hear then.

ME: What's a male deer called?

CHICKEN: Buck

ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?

CHICKEN: Buck Buck

HER: This is dumb.

CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.

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During a class on human sexuality, the professor was discussing various items in the Kinsey Report.

The students gasped audibly when the professor told them of a woman who had several hundred orgasms in a single session.

A male voice said, "Wow, who was she?"

A female voice followed with, "The hell with that... who was HE ?!!!

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The statues

A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years out in a park. One day a wizard, feeling sorry for the statues, brought them to life for 30 minutes. Right away, the two of them ran into some nearby bushes and you could hear all kinds of strange sounds and ...

What language does a male barista speak?

Hebrew.

What do you call a male panda?

Amanda!

*^((I know it's not saying much, but this is OC!))*

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So, if Fe = Iron and Male = Man

I’ve been having sex with IronMan all these years.

The youngest male member of a Desi Family is called 'Babu'. The oldest is called 'Babuji'.

It takes a lifetime for men to reach that ji spot.

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I failed to get into the male pornstar industry

Apparently I have shortcomings

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The human male ejaculate contains about 1500TB of information

Thats why I masturbate before an exam. I need to free up space.

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair,

and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding ...

A classic by my grandpa.

It was funnier because he spoke broken English and cracked himself up every time.

Two Czechoslovakian friends were visiting the zoo. One leaned over the edge of the polar bear pit and fell in. He was quickly gobbled up. The zoo keeper came over mortified and asked the crowd what happened. On...

A comedian was arrested after causing a 35 year old male to laugh himself to death.

Police are charging him with man's-laughter.

Why do male, Mexicans get better jobs out of college?

Because they can apply for señor positions.

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The Queen of England Was on a Tour...

...at one of America's finest hospitals when she passed a ward and spotted a male patient stroking the salami.

"My word, if that isn't the repulsive thing I've ever seen!" she gasped.

"I'm terribly sorry, Your Majesty," the doctor leading the tour said, "this patient has a serious cond...

It’s not a dad bod

If you need a male influence in your life and he has a dad bod, don’t call it a dad bod, but more of a....father figure

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For sale: Beginner's level sketchbook of male nudes

**May contain traces of nuts*

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Doctor to post-op male patient: "We accidentally amputated your dick."

Patient: "WTF?!"

Doctor: "Ma'am, you need to calm down."

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