Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.

Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.

"Just don't tell Dad" she says.

Hey, it's working thinks Little Johnny.

An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and says:...

What kind of punch is strong enough to kill 20 kids and 6 adults at once?

A Sandy Hook

Reports show that adults aged 18-24 are the healthiest, with the least dr visits per age

But between you and me it’s because my mom doesn’t make my appointments anymore

What do you call adults with imaginary friends?

Religious.

All the adults judged me because I jumped into the ball pit at the children's activity centre...

It's like they'd never seen a naked man before

Vaccinanted vs Unvaccinated adults

(2045)
Vaccinated adults: Man I'm glad I grew up playing fortnite
Unvaccinated adults: Man I'm glad I grew up

A bus driver was called into court for killing 23 children and 5 adults

The judge asked the bus driver, why did you kill all those innocent people??

The bus driver looked a little sad and answered, I didnt meen to! It was by mistake!

How did it happen? Asked the judge.

Well, said the bus driver, I was driving to a bus station but suddenly, on the ro...

Most adults have a dark secret...

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth”.

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home and as he is greeted by his mother, he s...

Going through a messy divorce I said to the wife, OK we will do this as adults, she says OK we split the stuff 50/50, half the house is yours the other half is mine.

I have the inside you have the outside..

I went with my kids for a swim in the public kids pool and apparently adults peeing in a pool is not entirely unnoticeable

The lifeguard yelled so loud at me I almost fell in the water.

My wife says adults shouldn't pretend the lawn is lava,

but I'm on the fence.

My dad, a vietnam veteran, told me that there's one thing that always sticks with kids and adults no matter how old they are.

Napalm

Here’s a joke you can fool almost any kid and some adults with.

Not the usual brand of joke seen here but I wasn’t sure where better to share it.

Anywho, choose your victim and say to them “I’ll bet that I can make you say the word blue.”

If they accept the challenge ask them the colors of the American flag. However they answer, assuming they were...

Why do kids hate coffee, but adults enjoy it?

Because, when you're a kid, coffee is the bitterest experience you've had in life.

I went to the movie theater, and they said it was $6 for adults and $4 for children

So I said: "Alright, then give me two boys and a girl."

When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'.

I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked "Does anyone know any French?"

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Probably not.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

90 percent of adults admitted to having some form of sexual interaction in the office.

I licked an envelope once.

According to National Geographic, 80% of US adults could not find Ukraine on an unmarked map.

They're really ahead of their time.

I saw a kid being beat up by 4 adults and tried to help.

Kid couldn't stand for long against 5 adults.

I hate when people say "act like an adult"

Have you seen adults lately?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why were adults yanking their teeth out after watching a shitty movie from Dwyane Johnson?

To get their money back from "The Tooth Fairy".

These days whey manufacturers are against selling to adults.

Their products are pro teen.

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" [ adult ]

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." ...

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.

Adults used to tell me that if I went into the inner city, I could get robbed by a drug dealer...

I finally understand now, $5 for a cup of coffee is ridiculous

adults make better fighters than infants

yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery

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