Adults Jokes

The judge asks the bus driver "why did you kill all those innocent people?"

The bus driver, looking a little sad, says "I didn't mean too, It was by mistake!"

"How did it happen?" Asks the judge.

"Well-" said the bus driver, "I was driving to a bus station but suddenly, on the r... read more

Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.

"Just don't tell Dad" she says.

*Hey, it's working* thinks Little Johnny.

An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and ... read more

Their stupid

Napalm

...but he obviously couldn't understand the advanced calculus lectures from my university, so he stopped watching.

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth”.

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home and as he is greeted by his mother, he s... read more

When they’re in their forties

Or is there a cut off date ?

Hoe hoe hoe

but I'm on the fence.

A firetruck :D

They're really ahead of their time.

Her daughter was living in an apartment with a young man, and she did not approve of her living situation. The daughter picked up the mother from the airport, and brought her home. The mother carefully looked around the house. Two bedrooms, one clearly the daughter's, and one clearly belonging to... read more

Religious

When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally took a misstep and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried.I'd always heard adults talk about i... read more

I prefer to do the opposite.

Always incharge

Thank God.

Because it’s Not Tea.

...and then we agree that she was absolutely right.

(2045)
Vaccinated adults: Man I'm glad I grew up playing fortnite
Unvaccinated adults: Man I'm glad I grew up

They are made for kids but adults enjoy them!

A sandy hook

The population of this country is 327 million.


76 million are retired.


That leaves 251 million to do the work. 


There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.


Which leaves 203 million to do the work


There are 74 million chil... read more

Both of them.

yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery

The rest gave them some other names, I assume.

Probably not.

The other 2 are just bad.

Nobody really knows, it's just one of the hallmarks of pop culture.

Their products are pro teen.

I believe that kids are much smarter than adults.
Why?
Because I don't know one kid who has a wife and a family.

The lifeguard yelled so loud at me I almost fell in the water.

Not the usual brand of joke seen here but I wasn’t sure where better to share it.

Anywho, choose your victim and say to them “I’ll bet that I can make you say the word blue.”

If they accept the challenge ask them the colors of the American flag. However they answer, assuming they were... read more

It's like they'd never seen a naked man before

Every kid gets atrophy.