I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.

Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?

Because it’s always too soon.



^(i feel bad)

What did they call the Egyptian Pharoah who very rarely farted?...

...Toot-Uncommon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Many sing in the shower, but rarely in the bathroom.

Probably cause the audience is shit

Have you noticed how you rarely see Delorian's on the road anymore?

Apparently their owners only drive them from Time to Time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer quickly purchased land in a low-lying depression and began raising donkeys there. He did so with skill and the donkeys rarely got away.

Long story short, he hauled ass to amass asses in a hole asset, whole-ass not half-ass, lassoed the asses so that they wouldn't bypass the ass hole.

A post on this sub is rarely original

We've all reddit before.

Vaginas are like gyms.

I'm rarely inside one, but when I am I just sort of pretend to know what I'm doing and hope no one notices I don't.

The young Pharoah rarely, if ever, passed gas...

This is why they nicknamed him King Toot Uncommon.

-from my son, age 10

I rarely put orange slices in my beer.

Once in a Blue Moon.

What name did they give the Egyptian pharaoh who rarely passed gas?

Toot-uncommon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, supervised by a few gruff looking nuns.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their front door. The elder nuns insisted that only they would attend to him. The next evening there was a crash and a scream!! The sister ran out the door as fast as she could.

Sister Marry Cla...

My mom always said that I have a rare talent

She meant that in my case, a talent is rarely evident

A man had an adult daughter who he loved dearly but rarely met. He decided to send her a letter, and in it was hundreds of pieces of advice to help her succeed in life.

The advice ranged from career to cooking to basic mechanics; it was like a manual for life, and it took him a good while to rewrite, condense, and perfect.

When he went to the post office to send the letter, he met the mail deliverer Kurt. Kurt said he would deliver the letter.

The man...

A farmer’s wife had an affair with a Maple Tree.

A farmer’s wife had an affair with a Maple tree. She was ashamed of her actions but her husband was always so busy with his farm work and rarely had time to tend to her needs. Once she became pregnant, the farmer had his suspicions, but after the baby was born, he was all but convinced the child was...

I never click on these, because the punchline is rarely worth the effort.

Told you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Big Chief was suffering from constipation for over a week...

He hadn't laid a log in what felt like forever and this caused him great frustration, pain and discomfort. In great desperation, he decides to visit the tribe's witch doctor in the hope of finally loosening his bowels.

The witch doctor let's him in and says "Hey there Big Chief, to what do I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend is sexually attracted to inanimate objects, and we rarely get to see him nowadays.

He always has stuff to do.

Why do circuses rarely have human cannonballs anymore?

It's hard to find men of that caliber.

Ghandi spent a lot of time fasting in his life, which made him thin and frail. He chose not to wear shoes often, so when he walked, he toughened up his feet. Rarely did he brush his teeth.

That makes him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I am a server, and normally I do my job like I should. I handle workload like a charm, even though I rarely sleep.

So today I couldn't handle it anymore, and broke down. Today I crashed, and corrupted 57 GB worth of websites.

What do you call a whole grain that’s zero calories but is rarely used?

Weird flax but 0k

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why we rarely see male live streaming masturbation like camgirls?

Because the stream ends in 2 minutes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tractor joke

There once was a man who loved tractors, I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was th...

Why do citizens of Prague rarely get scammed?

Because they always double Czech

I rarely laugh at Dad jokes.

I think I’ve out groan them.

Rarely, hikers of the Appalachian trail report seeing psychic grizzlies take control of their friends, who start foraging and looking for honey...

Bear in mind, that doesn't happen very often.

I've got an African American friend who almost always keeps to himself, and very rarely goes out. He's a little mad at me right now, though.

I guess he didn't like it when I greeted him by saying "What's up, my inward?"

Why are jokes about communism rarely funny?

Because they're only funny if *everybody* gets them.

Why do ants rarely, if ever, get sick?

Because of their tiny little anty bodies.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a drink...

The barkeeper doesn‘t know what to do, so he goes to his boss. The boss never had a gorilla in his bar and he doesn‘t want his bar to becoma a favorite place for gorillas but on the other hand, he doesn‘t want to make the gorilla angry. So he says to the barkeeper: “Serve him but charge him $30. May...

Why do vegans rarely hold gathering?

Because they avoid meet.

An explorer spent weeks scouring the jungles of Skull Island, hoping to see the legendary King Kong. One day, when he was all but certain that it was nothing but a myth, he came to a clearing - and right there before him, sitting pensively, was the imposing figure of King Kong...

The explorer glared at King Kong in awe, and approached him slowly. King Kong seemed to be quite passive, so the explorer slowly reached out and shyly touched him. But as soon as he made contact with the gorilla’s fur, King Kong went berserk. He immediately rose to his feet, began beating his chest ...

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