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Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.

“You’re coming home now!” she screamed.

“No, I’m not,” I laughed.

She said, “I’m talking to the kids.”

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

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The coach grimaced as he watched his young ice hockey team. At one point during the game, he called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded affirmatively...

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"

The little boy nodded once more.

"So..." the coach continued. "I'm sure you know that when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-...

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In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio

In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.

“Father, where is the United States,” Hans asked.

His father pointed at a map towards North America.

“Aren’t we cur...

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A little boy sees his grandpa smoking weed.

He says, "Gramps, can I have a puff?" Grandpa replies, "Can your dick touch your asshole?"

"No..."

"Well, you can't have any."

Later, the little boy sees his Grandpa drinking beer and asks, "Can I have a swig?" Grandpa replies again, "Can your dick touch your asshole?"

...

Boy: What's a palindrome?

Teacher: racecar

{10 years later}

Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome

Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]

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A beautiful woman is sitting next to a teenage boy on a plane.

There is terrible turbulence and then the plane goes into a sudden nose dive. The Captain comes on the intercom and says “I hate to have to tell you this folks, but we might not walk away from this one.”

Everyone begins to panic except for the boy who sheepishly turns to the woman and says, ...

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A traveling salesman knocks on a door and a little boy answers.

The boy is wearing a women’s nightgown, drinking brandy from a snifter, and smoking a joint.

Stunned, the salesman says, ‘excuse me, are your parents home?’

The little boy replies,
‘What the fuck do you think?’

How do you tell the difference between a boy ghost and a girl ghost?

Their booooobs.

What’s the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?

One comes back from camp

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A boy holding duct tape walks by an old man on a bench

The old man says, "what're you doing with that duct tape?" The boy replies saying, "I'm going to go catch some ducks." The old man says, "you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Sure enough, the boys comes back later holding a bunch of ducks wrapped in duct tape.

The next day the boy passes th...

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A young muslim boy asks his dad " what are you wearing on your head?"

The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”

"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.

“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, ...

A boy named Carol had a particularly rough childhood because of his uncommon name. He always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, he overcame his hang-up and married his high-school sweetheart.

When their first child was born, he let his wife name her.

She named the baby girl "Love" inspired in the same spirit as Carol's unique name.

Unfortunately, Love grew up and endured much of the same teasing that Carol did, because of her strange name.

She came home from school...

A 15 year old boy comes home with a Porsche

His parents began to yell and scream. “Where did you get that car?”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” Demanded his parents. “We know how much a Porsche costs!”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

The parents began to yell e...

A little boy was walking on the road eating a chocolate.

A man came over and said, "Son, eating chocolates is bad for your health."

The boy replied, "Do you know, my Grandpa lived to be 105 years old."

"By eating chocolates?" The man asked.

"No, by minding his own business." He replied.

When I was younger, the local priest told me that I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen.

I was touched.

Boy: *Kissing girl on couch* You wanna take this upstairs?

Girl: Hehe sure baby

Boy: Sweet! Grab the other end, I can't carry it by myself

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A little boy tells his nursery teacher that he found a dead cat

'How did you know that it was dead?' Asked the teacher

'Because i pissed in its ear & it didn't move' Said the boy

'You did what?!?' Shrieks the teacher

'You know' Explains the boy, 'I lent over and went Pssst & it didn't move"

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The boy with the wooden eye.

There was a poor kid in Highschool who only had one eye. He couldn't afford a glass eye so he had one made out of wood. The wooden eye looked terrible and he was very self-conscious about it.

Despite his appearance he always tried to score a date with the hottest girls in school. One day in ...

A boy asked his dad for 10$ of bitcoin

"$9.57? Why do you need $11.48?"

I used to be a boy in a girls body

Then I came out of my mom

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Gorilla removal service.

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in a tree near his house. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.

"Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks.

"Boy," is the man's response.

"Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there", ...

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Young boy goes up to his Dad and asks "Where did I come from?"

His father sighs and says "I was hoping your mother would get this question but OK I will explain".

"So when a man and woman are in love and want to have a baby they get naked and get into bed and then they touch each other and kiss and the man touches the woman's breasts and vagina and the w...

What do pedophile vampires do to relax?

Crack open a boy with the cold ones.

A Native American Chief had three wives, all of whom were pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the th...

Doctor: What's wrong with your bother? Boy: He thinks he is a chicken.

Doctor: Really? How long has this been going on?

Boy: Five years.

Doctor: Five years! Why didn’t you bring him in earlier?

Boy: We needed the eggs.

Lil boy and lil girl are playing in a sandbox. Lil boy pulls down his pants and says, 'I have one of these and you don't.'.

Lil girl runs off to mom who sets her straight. Next day, lil boy and lil girl are in the sand box again. Again lil boy pulls down his pants saying, ' I have one of these and you don't.'. lil girl pulls up her skirt and replys, 'I have one of these and can get as many of those as I want.'.

A six year old boy goes to work with his father....

A six year old boy goes to work with his father on a bring your kid to work day.

After about 30 minutes of arriving the kid starts crying loudly, the whole office gathers around.

The father asks his kid "what's the matter son?"

The kid replies "where are all the clowns that yo...

A young boy comes running down the street looking for a cop. He finds one and then begs "Please, officer, come back to the bar with me, my father's in a fight." Well, they get back to the bar and there's three guys fighting like you wouldn't believe.

After a while the cop turns to the kid and says "Okay, which one's your father."

The kid looks up at the cop and says, "I don't know, officer, that's what they're fighting about."

The little boy sees a police officer and runs up "Hey, come quick! My father is in a fight with another man!"

The officer follows him around the corner, and sure enough, there are two men fighting tooth and nail.

"Ok, sonny, now which one's your father?"

"I DON'T KNOW! That's what they're fighting about!"

There was a shipwreck off a deserted island in the middle of nowhere! The only survivors were three boys named Mike, Kyle, and Nate. After the wreck the boys decided to wander the island to see if they could find some food...

As the boys were wandering the island one of the boys stepped on a lamp and began to rub it when out of nowhere a genie popes out and grants them three wishes. They all think about it for a while until they came to the conclusion that they all get one wish. The first wish was Nate’s and he said that...

A little boy was at the centre of a custody battle.

The judge says to him, do you want to stay with your Father? Boy replies no he beats me, so the judge asks do you want to stay with your Mother? again the boy says, no she beats me as well. So the judge asks, so who do you want to stay with then?

Boy replies: Manchester United, they don't bea...

A boy desperately needs money to buy a new car

However, his mother forcibly tells him no. The boy, undeterred, decides to get a job to pay. He applies for many jobs, ranging from a mechanic to delivering newspapers. However, he is not accepted for any of them. Slowly, he gives up on his dream of buying a car.

Weeks later, the boy tells hi...

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom.

First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and sees that the line is so long it's coming out the front door. He gets in line anyway and eventually gets the flowers.

Then he...

A boy is selling fish..

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!"

A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'"

The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a cou...

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Why don't young boys like going to church?

It's a massive pain in the ass.

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Me: "I've got a fear of the Backstreet Boys"

Therapist: "Tell me why."

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father

"Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?"

The dad replies, "Why do you want to know, son?"

"Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!"

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What do you call a catholic boy that can run faster than the priest?

A virgin

What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?

Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.

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A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van when suddenly the girl, yells out "Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"

The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the aerial off the van and proceeds to whip the girl until they bothcollapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, the girl no...

When I was a little boy, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.

Now at last I've managed to invent a time machine of my own, so I'm going to go back to when *he* was a little boy so I can punch him and see how he likes it!

A boy was eating dinner with his parents, after having learned fractions at school.

Wanting to show off, he tried to apply some of what he learned:


Dad: Alright son, how do you want a full burger for dinner?


Son: Can i just half one half please?


Dad: Sure thing!


Mom: Do you want some juice?


Son (with a grin): Can i g...

4 year old boy: "Dad I've decided to get married"

Dad: "Wonderful. Who's the girl?"

Son: "Yes, Grandma! She loves me, she cooks for me, she tells me stories."

Dad: "That's nice, but there is one problem."

Son: "What's that?"

Dad: "She happens to be my mother. How can you marry my mother?!"

Son: "Why not? You marri...

A little boy shared this with me today

Knock knock

*Who is there?*

Little old lady

*Little old lady who?*

I didn’t know you could yodel

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A girl and a boy go to Sunday school together,

They sit on the same table next to each other. The girl falls asleep on the desk with her head on her arms.

Soon, the leader asks a question, “Who is our lord and saviour?” The boy pulls a drawing pin from the display board and pokes the sleeping girl in the arm. She wakes up with a start and...

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A 12 year old boy goes in the confession box and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest replies angrily, "You better not be cheating on me, you little bastard"

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A boy and his grandpa

One day a boy’s grandpa was watching TV and drinking a beer.

He sat down and asked if he could have some of the beer.

“Is your wiener long enough to touch your butthole?”
“Nope.”

“Then you’re too young to share my beer,” his grandpa chuckled

A couple of weeks later...

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A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back...

The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the so...

What did the boy ask the Gardner?

Water you doing?

A mother was pregnant with triplets.(2 girls, one boy)

A guy enters her hospital room and shoots three bullets into her stomach, which hit each of the three children.

The babies luckily survive, but the mother dies.

Ten years later...

One of the girls run up to her dad and says, "Daddy, I went to the bathroom and out came a bullet!"...

What did the boy robot do on his one night stand

Nut and bolt

So a man and a boy were walking in the woods

The boy turns to the man and says, " mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared"

The man replies "how do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone"

A woman gives birth to a healthy baby boy...

The baby asked the doctor, "Are you my father?"

"No." Replies the doctor.

The baby asks another doctor, "Are you my father?"

"Sure ain't." Replies the second doctor.

The baby asks his older brother, "Are you my father?"

"Not at all." Replies the brother.

Fin...

Why are Boy Scouts annoying to play video games with?

Because they’re good at camping!

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An altar boy walks in to find his priest masturbating furiously...

Emabarrassed, he begins to back out of the room when the priest says "Sean, this is perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of; you'll be doing it yourself soon enough".

Skeptical, Sean says "Really, Father?"

The priest replies "Sure you will, my wrist is getting tired!"

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor and decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally.

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor and decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them up sinc...

A boy calls 911…

A boy calls 911.

Boy: Hello? I need your help!

911: Alright, What is it?

Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!

911: So what's your emergency?

Boy: The ugly one is winning!

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The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

(This might be a repost, but my friend told me it and I thought it was funny.)

The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

"Daddy, what does ass mean?"

"It means... beard."

Downstairs, the b...

My crush asked my help to impress a boy. So I told her we should pretend to date to make him jealous.

We've now been married for 10 years and have a kid and she hasn't made any progress with that guy. Maybe I should stop beating him up every time he tries to meet her?

Nah. Need to stay in character.

The Beach Boys Walk Into A Bar

Bartender: “Round”

BB: “Round?”

Bartender: “Get a Round”

BB: “I’ll get a Round”

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings

The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my best friend who lives on a farm is playing in a field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him...

Why didn't the dough boy take his medication?

His pills were buried.

A boy was living next to a very rich business man

While exploring his backyard, he finds a very old, silver lamp. He rubs the lamp and a Genie pops out.

Genie: You are my master, you have 3 wishes that I must grant, no more, no less.

The boy thinks for a while, then he asks the Genie to make him the son of their rich neighbor,

...

A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. "My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time. The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks:

"Do you like potato pancakes?" "No," comes the answer, and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket. "Do you have a brother?" "No." After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card: "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"

"It's a boy!", He screamed, running out of the room,

And vowed never to visit Thailand again.

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A young boy says to his father "Dad, our math teacher wants to see you."

"What happened?" The father asks.

"Well, she asked me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answered '63' , then she asked, 'and 9 * 7?' So I asked 'what's the fucking difference?'

"Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from sch...

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An old man was sitting on his porch one morning when a boy walked up the road carrying a large roll of chicken wire.

“Hey, boy! What are you doing with all that chicken wire?”

“I’m gonna catch some chickens, sir.”

“You fool, you can’t catch no chickens with chicken wire.”

The boy smiled and walked off. That evening he came back dragging the chicken wire with at least a dozen chickens rolled up...

A boy was always getting low grades in maths...

A boy was always getting low grades in maths and his parents were getting worried. After 3 tests with continuous F's, they decided to send him to a Catholic school due to the high success rate in maths.

After the boys first day of school there, he got home and ran straight to his room without...

Did you hear the one about the priest and the alter boy?

It’s actually quite a touching story

Two boys are taking a stroll through the woods, when they come across this well

They take a look down the well, and can't see the bottom. They want to know how long the drop is so one of them throws a pebble down there.

They wait a while......nothing.

They spot a good sized rock and toss it down the well next.

They wait a while.....still nothing.

The...

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Boy asks his mum...McDonalds for dinner?

Mum: ..only if you can spell it.

Boy: ...fuck it. KFC?!

I like my boys how I like my whiskey.

Brown and 10 years old

Who is Bill Cosby's favorite Lost Boy?

Rufio.

My Mexican friend had twin boys and couldn't come up with names..

I suggested Juan and Two

Two boys were playing by a stream

One of the boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long, so he went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy coul...

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A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house.

A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious ...

A boy has a question about God

Sorry if this has been posted before. I just heard it and I’ve never seen it on here before.

There was a boy that had a question about God. He goes to his local priest to see if he has an answer. The boy presents the question and the priest is completely at a loss of words. The question is s...

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A woman pregnant with triplets , 2 girls and a boy, was walking down the street when she was shot 3 times in the stomach

Somehow, miraculously , she and all 3 of her babies survived. 19 years later she’s at a family reunion and her first daughter comes up to her , visibly shaken. She says “mom, I just pissed out a bullet and I’m freaking out!” She sits down and holds her head in her hands , panicking. The mom figures ...

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Boy: It seems to me you are really cute and funny

Girl: It seems to me you just wanna have sex with me

Boy:... And smart, as well.

Girl: *Blushes*

Boy: But not smart enough as to check your drink

Girl: *Passes out*

Boy: *Passes out*

Waiter: Neither do you...

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb

I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"? He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

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A young woman gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Unfortunately he was born without eyelids.

The doctor called a plastic surgeon who was able to take the boys foreskin and make them into eyelids. Baby is going to be fine just going to be a little cockeyed.

Why does McDonalds like to hire altar boys?

Because if you can turn on a priest, you can turn on a fryer.

A little boy had a crush on his teacher, but she was dating a doctor.

So the boy brought his teacher an apple everyday.

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A boy and a Catholic priest go on a fishing trip

The priest catches a large fish.

Boy: *"Look at that bastard!"*
Preacher: *"Watch your language!"*
Boy: *"Sorry father, it's called a Bastard fish".*
Preacher: *Chuckles and says "that's OK then".*

The preacher takes the fish back to the church and hands it to the Bish...

In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys?

With a crowbar

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A 3 year old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath."Mom", he asked, "are these my brain?"

"Not yet", she replied.

Little Debbie went home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said, "You should say "No, they only want to look at your knickers.."

Debbie said, "I know they do. That's why I hide them in my bag"!

A young boy goes and visits his grandfather for a few days

During the first meal the boy says to his grandfather: "Are these plates clean? They feel kind of gooey."



"They are as clean as coldwater gets them." The grandfather replies.



During the next meal the young boy notices the same thing again and asks "Are these plates cl...

A boy asks a girl to prom

So there's this boy in highschool, around 16 years old and he very nervously and timidly asks this beautiful girl out to prom. Out of his league and the most beautiful I'm the school. He's shocked and quite startled when he hears "id love to go!" Leave her lips.
Short on time with days till or, h...

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A boy asks a girl if she wants to hear a joke about his penis. He then says, ”Nevermind, it’s too long.”

The girl asks if he wants to hear a poem about her vagina. She says, ”Nevermind, it's too deep.”

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to ...

I asked a pregnant woman if it's going to be a boy or a girl.

"They're questioning," she replied.

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A little boy is lying in bed, busting to go to the toilet.

So he gets out of bed, runs downstairs into the living room, and finds his mother chatting to a bunch of her friends.

"MUM," the boy yells at the top of his voice, "I GOTTA PISS! I GOTTA PISS!"

Well, needless to say, the mother is mortified at her son's language in front of her guests...

My best friend passed away recently, and grieving before his grave I said,

"Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?"

A month later, my wife gave birth to a big boy. As my child grew older each day, I realized he looks a lot like my best friend.

I'm really happy that my prayer worked.

"It's a boy!" he shouted. "It's a BOY! I still can't believe it!"

And he swore to never go back to Thailand again.

One day a little boy wrote to Santa...

Boy: “Please send me a sister”

Santa: “Ok, send me your mother”

A ten-year-old boy called his school office and disguised his voice.

Speaking with as much baritone as he could muster he said, "Timmy Smith is very sick and he can't come to school today." The school secretary said, "I'm sorry to hear that. Who is this?" And the boy said, "This is my Dad."

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy.

The boy replies, “I’m an orphan, your honor.”

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk.
"Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."

A girl and boy are at a party. The girl asks for a drink. The boy promptly gets her one and she says “Wow, that was fast.”

He responds “There was no punchline.”

A 15 year old boy....

was at the center of a Denver County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation req...

I couldnt believe it. Tears rolled down my eyes as I said, 'Its a boy'

That was when I decided to leave Thailand and never return

A child asked his mother when you got pregnant with me, did you want a boy or girl?

Nether, I wanted the remote under the Couch.

What did the girl melon say to the boy melon when he asked her to run away and get married?

I’m sorry, cantaloupe

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A man and his son recently moved to Texas. One Saturday afternoon they decided to take a walk through the park. During the walk the boy sees 2 cowboys walk by.

“Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!”

The father is surprised by this and tells his son that that is not very nice language to use.

A few minutes later, 2 more cowboys walk by and again the boy yells, “Dad, look at those bow legged bastards!”

The father, quite upset now turn...

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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her...

What did the buffalo say to his boy before going to work?

Bison.

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool!

But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

An airplane was about to crash...

There was 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said “I am Steph Curry, considered one of NBA’s most prized players. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me and I can’t afford to die” So he took the 1st pack and jumped out of the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Donald ...

You know you can tell the difference between a boy and a girl ant by putting it in water?

If it sinks, it’s a girl ant. If it floats, it’s buoyant

Pregnant wife: What name should we name it if it’s a boy?

Me: Herbert

Wife: but what if it’s a girl?

Me: Sherbert

One little boy has never said a word

At first his parents were concerned, but no doctor could find any problem.

One day at launch boy says:
"There is too much salt in my soup"
His parents are shocked:
"You can speak?! Why didn't you ever said anythink?"


"Because up until now everything was ok"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the boy who moved to Alabama have sex with a dinner roll?

He wanted to be in-bread like everyone else.

A boy asked his father,

Father, why am I named Leaf?

The father, who was waiting for this moment to come, replied sweetly.

Oh son, when the caring winds first caressed you, it was a single leaf that gently sat on your head. You were named after that, Leaf.

The boy asked again. ...

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test ...

... and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car" The boy thought about that for a moment,...

Did you hear about the boy who survived being run over by a monster truck?

When reporters interviewed him at the hospital he was alert and said that he just felt very tired.

Little Lisa came home and told her mother she got $5 from the boys to climb a tree

Her mother smiled and said: “They only wanted to peek at your panties under your dress.”

“I know”, said Lisa, “But I fooled them. I took off my panties before I climbed!”

A Priest & A Little Boy...

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her n...

So a boy was born, and he was just a head. But his parents took this difficulty in their stride and raised him as well as they could. On the boy's 18th birthday, his father takes him down the pub for his first pint.

He takes the first sip, and out pops his body. Surprised, he takes a second sip, and out pop his arms. The whole pub is cheering him on now. His father has tears of joy streaming down his face. So the boy takes his final sip, and out pop his legs. The boy is so happy that he immediately jumps up ...

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part is it?"

The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
"The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

Two army boys, Leroy & Jasper....

Two Army boys, Leroy & Jasper, from the hills of Kentucky were promoted right from privates to Sergeants because of their great marksmanship with rifles.

Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy says, "Hey, Jasper, There's the NCO Club. Let's you and Me stop in." "But we's privat...

A boy asked his mother

"Mommy, why are you white and I'm black?"

Mommy replied "Son, the way things were going at that party, you are lucky you don't bark."

Muhammad Ali has two boys.

Both of them head strong and talented like their father, vigorously passionate about their sport. But neither of them took a liking to boxing. They actually had an uncanny knack for driving, or rather, the opposite of driving. They could put a car into perfect position flawlessly every time, even in...

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?

Nurse: No change yet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A catholic all boys school went on a trip...

A catholic all boys school was going on a trip to Hawaii. They are on the plane when the pilot says on the radio “Father, can you come up to the cockpit really quick”. So the priest gets up and makes his way over to the pilot. When he gets to him the pilot says “Father, we have a big problem, there ...

Johnny was a bright, charming boy

and he was even fairly good-looking. The only problem was that he had lost his eye in a fishing accident when he was younger. They were too poor to afford a glass eye, so his father made him a wooden one.

He was made fun of all through school for his eye and it completely destroyed his self e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

7 years old boy returns bag to police with $12000 inside bag

I hope my kids arent this fucking stupid

A little boy was selling Mangoes in a small village

"3 coins for one, 10 for three!", he said.

A dirty businessman, seeing that it was a boy, thought this to be a perfect opportunity to cheat and gain some profit. He approached the boy and asked, "What is the cost for one, little man?"

"3 for one, 10 for three!", the boy said innocentl...

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