UPJOKE
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Someone Jokes

What do you call someone wearing a mismatched pair of socks?

A heterosoxual.

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I knew someone who was so broke, he couldn’t even afford to drink water.

He was piss-poor

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor guy

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A neo-nazi walks into a bar…

How someone can hit their head multiple times on a metal bar while lying on the ground is a mystery, but that’s what the eyewitnesses are saying.

My pastor announced that someone in our congregation is possessed by an owl.

All I can think is: “Who? Who?!”

What’s the best job for someone with a humiliation kink?

Customer service.

When Jim returned from a trip to the Southwestern USA

He noted to a fellow train buff how he loved the way the Sante Fe engines were painted. Someone overheard and exclaimed “THEY ARE KNOWN AS NATIVE AMERICANS!!!”

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So I Went To Japan On A Holiday

and I had a very close online Japanese friend I met on a Guitar Hero forum, and we arranged to meet up.

I thought he was a guy, but then this really cute girl with short, brown hair shows up, easily a 9/10. She's called Nao and even though it's the first time we had met in real life, we get a...

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Little Johnny and his Ranch

Little Johnny was a rancher. He owned cattle, horses, and things all of the sort. One day, a black SUV had pulled up. An FBI agent got out of the car.

"Are you little Johnny?"

"Yessir."

"I'm here to investigate a murder. Someone was killed down the road, you mind if I take a pee...

Is it possible to kill someone with a piece of Cheddar cheese?

Yes, but only if it's extra sharp.

Someone asked me if I knew who Pavlov was…

I said, “No, but his name rings a bell.”

What does the judge say when someone farts during trial…

Odour in the court!!!

I tried telling a seal clubbing joke to someone from Iqaluit...

but they were having Nunivut.

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My wife has been complaining that someone has been sexually harassing her at work, but I think it's her fault

Honestly, what does she expect working from home

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David sets up Andy to go on a blind date

David sets up Andy to go on a blind date with Melissa, a friend of his. But Andy is a little worried about going out with someone he has never seen before.

"What do I do if she's ugly? What do I do if we don't connect" says Andy, "I'll be stuck with her all night."

"Don't worry." D...

Someone recently got kicked out of flight school

Their career just couldn’t take off

What's Hank Hill's favorite band?

PROPAIN!

I found a cd at a thrift store for a band actually called PROPAIN, made up this joke on the spot (maybe it's old idk) and made myself giggle, so I had to buy it, now I keep it in our minivan and break it out as my favorite dad joke whenever I have someone in it lol

What do you call someone who had kids before they turned 20?

Poor

I've just found out what happens when you pull on the red cord in the disabled toilet.

It makes someone smash the door in and call you a "time-wasting prick."

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Life in a nursing home

An old man was put into a nursing home by his son. He is unsure if he will adjust to the new living situation.

On his first morning in the home, the old man awoke with an erection. A beautiful blonde nurse had entered his room to check on him and upon seeing it, bent down and blew him without...

What’s the best meal to make for someone you’re breaking up with?

Dumplings

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[NSFW] [Long]A newly wed couple movies in with each other for the first time...

A newly wed couple moves in with each other for the first time and are going through the normal aches and pains of learning to live with someone new.

For the most part, everything is going well. No big disagreements, a couple of small annoying habits, but nothing major. Though, after several ...

Someone invites their friend over to their house for the first time and shows them around.

Admiring an ornate jar with a lid, the friend picks it up and asks about its importance.

"Oh, those are my father's ashes." comes the reply which startles them, causing the jar to slip between their fingers and shatter on the floor in a cloud of grey dust.

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, I'M SO...

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A knife is like a penis…

It’s not about how big it is, it’s about how effective you are at making someone regret their decisions when you whip it out.

What do you call someone who's on top of everything when it comes to news, technology, video games, nsfw, and everything else?

an Apex redditor

I got an email today from someone, and in their email signature, they put their pronouns "them/they"

So when I responded, I hit "reply all"

What do you call it when someone murders their friend?

Homie cide

Platonic friendships are like chess. They're fun, engaging, and can last a long time...

but someone's always wondering "how many moves until mate?"

I heard The Joker just accidentally killed someone...

He was convicted of involuntary man's laughter.

Why did the trick or treater lose his ghost costume?

Someone scared the sheet out of him

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How can you tell that someone's a homewrecker?

It's fucking apparent.

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A man will fantasize that he’s having sex with someone else;

a woman will fantasize she’s having sex with anyone else.

Pavlov walks into a bank.

Finding the counter deserted, he rings the little bell these kinds of places tend to have.

When someone finally comes around, they find Pavlov lost in thought and ask him what's wrong, to which he says: "I forgot to feed the dog."

What do you call someone who thinks they're right just because they make decisions?

An Ergomaniac.

A guy is asked by his friend: “What would you do if your wife cheats on you?”

He answers “I’d throw his dog through the window and break the stick”

Friend: “what stick? What dog?”

To what the guy replies: “If someone sleeps with my wife he must be blind!”

What is the worst thing you can say when someone points a gun at you?

Oh, shoot!

Super Bowl tickets

Short notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl. They are box seats that he spent $5,700 a piece for which includes transportation to and from the stadium, open bar, and a pass to the winners locker room.

What he did not realize was last year when he purchased them th...

I don't understand why everyone says Chuck Norris is awesome.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone at my front door.

The unlucky man

There was a very unlucky man , who whenever starts a job, they go bankrupt in a week, whenever he goes to a wedding, they get divorced in a month, whenever he buys a car, it get wrecked in days, ...etc

one day he decided to run away, thinking that even if he brings his bad luck abroad, ...

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How can I improve this joke I wrote?

A man one day hears a buzzing noise from the spare bedroom in his house and when he goes to open the door it's locked. His wife walks out 15 minutes later looking very relaxed and he asks her what that noise was.

She tells him its the new vibrator she bought and its amazing! The next day the ...

If someone who hates Christmas is called a Grinch...

what do you call someone who hates Valentine's Day?

Single.

A centipede walked into a shop and asked for a pair of shoes.

The shopkeeper looked at him and checked it was just the one pair that the centipede wanted.

The centipede laughed and assured the shopkeeper that yes, although one pair would be useless for himself, the shoes were a birthday gift for someone else and that he did indeed only want one pair....

Super Bowl Fun

It’s the Super Bowl, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the 50 yard line. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty. ‘This is incredible,’ said the ma...

A sensitive man...

Some construction workers are working on a high building early in the morning.

Sadly, Steve slips off a ledge, spirals down to the ground and is critically injured.

They attempt to save him with CPR, but there is a large hole in his skull that the blood keeps squirting out of, and he...

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They were a newlywed couple, just arriving from their honeymoon...

And the husband explained:

"These are the rules for our marriage. Mondays and Wednesdays are sports nights, we gather at a friend's house to watch TV. Tuesdays and Fridays are poker nights, where my friends since college usually play and relax a little.

Every Thursday, I go to my paren...

My clone gets an erection every time someone walks into the room...

I must've made a hard copy.

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What's the difference between your penis and a bonus check?

Someone's always willing to blow your bonus.

My doctor told me that only exercise will get rid of my big belly.



I asked him if I should join a gym. He said, "No, that's not necessary. Here's the exercise you need: Move your head back and forth from left to right anytime someone asks you if you'd like something to eat."

The Rabbit

A man with a hunting dog lived next door to a woman with a rabbit hutch in her backyard.

One day, he came home to find his dog with the rabbit in its' mouth, dead. The man was horrified but knew his dog would be sent away if the neighbors thought it was a danger to other pets. So he took the...

Horrible lie

The preacher rose with a red face. “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiv...

Someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch.

Ouch

Our local fire station burned down last night.

Someone must've left the irony on.

So this guy decides to get rid of his accordion.

He parks on a busy street and leaves it in plain view in the back seat with the doors unlocked. As he walks off to do some shopping he envisions someone opening the door and taking off with it.

He returns after a few hours to see his window smashed and a second accordion in the back seat.

What is the worst punishment for someone with ADHD?

A concentration camp

I once told someone I had a half brother

They said “Oh different mother or different father?” And I said “Niether, there was a shark attack”

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A lonely man adopts a new pet...

A lonely man feeling distant from his wife decides to follow the advice of a coworker and sets out to find a pet to keep himself company.

On the way home from work one day, the man stops by a pet shop. Inside he finds the usual fare, hamsters, guinea pigs, goldfish, etc. As he looks around h...

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A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.”

Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.

She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.

After a few minutes, he wrote something on it befo...

How do you cuss someone out without saying a cuss word?

You are a total British person saying the word "can't."

What do you call someone getting their biography tattooed on their back?

Their backstory

Someone stole my book bag today.

I don’t have the words to describe how I am feeling right now.

A man goes to prison for robbery.

After getting sorted, processed, and settled, it's lights out and he gets ready to sleep. After a few minutes he hears someone yell out "Forty Six!" and the whole cell block erupts in laughter. A few more moments pass and someone else calls out "Sixteen!" and again, the whole cell block starts laugh...

My cousin's cross eyed girlfriend dumped him

We have a feeling she was seeing someone on the side

A retired exorcist.

A while back I did some exorcist work with the Church and became pretty renowned for my efforts. I am known by all priest and demonkind. Only a few months into my early retirement, I got a rather strange phone call of someone asking for my assistance. His voice was deep and frantic.

Exorcist...

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank?

Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

What do you call it when someone's working on an erotic novel and gets writer's block?

Textual frustration.

How can you tell the difference between a nerd and someone with a BDSM fettish?

Ask them what a dungeon master is

I wanted to read The Book Thief...

…but someone stole my copy.

What would happen if...

Someone was to slap you at high frequency??

Well the definite answer is IT HERTZ a lot!

Did you hear about the man who assaulted someone with a woodwind instrument?

He's a registered Sax offender

If Major Tom flies really high up, what would you call someone very deep beneath the ground?

Miner Tom

I was about to tell some new jokes about the expensive eggs I bought

But before I could, someone poached them.

Credit card company called me to report suspicious activity...

I asked what kind of suspicious activity and they said someone made a payment.

A police officer is making the rounds in his patrol car

A police officer is making the rounds in his patrol car when he notices a peculiar Ford Escort parked in an abandoned lot

Since the lot is not supposed to be accessed, he parks and approaches the vehicle to find a man in the driver seat, getting head from a lovely young woman

The cop, ...

What does the software developer say when he gives someone an STD?

Uh-oh, I deployed a bug.

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A golfer looses one of his arms and is depressed.

He can no longer play golf and feels he has nothing to live for, so he decides to end it all.
He goes to the top of a building and is ready to jump when he sees a man with no arms bouncing around happily on the sidewalk below him.
Wondering how someone with one less arm than him could possibly...

When someone says to me, "A penny for your thoughts?" I ask for a quarter

It makes more cents.

Sherlock Holmes and Watson went camping.

As they lay down in their sleeping bags, Sherlock calls out to Watson and says 'The stars are quite visible this evening. What do you think that means?'

Watson replies, 'Well, I think it means that there's a whole universe out there that remains unexplored and filled with mysteries and world...

I hate when during a dinner party someone brings up how inhumane killing cows is.

They really know how to kill the moo

3 Guys Go To A Ski Lodge, But There Aren't Enough Rooms...

So they're forced to share a bed.

Middle of the night comes around and the guy on the right wakes up hysterical claiming he had the most wildest dream--someone was giving him a hand job!

The guy on the left woke up and from all the ruckus and said that's an awful coincidence...he was ...

According to the police blotter in our newspaper, it's been a tough week for them.

Monday: Someone stole all the toilets from the station house. So far they have nothing to go on.

Wednesday: A large sinkhole opened up in the middle of main St. They are still looking into it.

Friday: A thief has stolen all the wheels off of the police cruisers. They are working the ca...

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Heard this one on How I Met Your Mother

What's the difference between peanutbutter and jam?

You can't peanutbutter your dick up someones ass.

A pastor was on his way home from an oil change. On the way, he decided to stop at a church member's house.

After ringing the doorbell the pastor was sure that he saw movement inside the house. He rung the doorbell again, and the pastor noticed someone moving quickly from one room to another. The pastor whipped out a "Several Steps to Becoming a Christian" pamphlet, and quickly scrawled on it 'Revelation ...

What do you call it when someone kills a chickpea?

Hummus-cide.

How do you tell someone they have mesothelioma?

Asbestos you can

How do you write a Zen joke?

Someone reads it, cherishes it, remembers it, passes it on, and dies.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.

Then you’re already a mile away and you have their shoes.

Two electric car owners were seen today fighting over a charging port.

The police have said it was a charged environment and they will amp up patrols around area. A lot of witnesses were shocked and some saw someone socket to the other.

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A demon is checking a new arrival into Hell.

"Says here," he says, "you didn't really do anything wrong and they were willing to let you into the Other Place."

"Yes," said the dead soul. "But I said I'd rather be in Hell with my best friend than in Heaven with God!"

"Huh," says the demon. "Okay, we don't normally do requests, but...

I dated a guy with crossed eyes once

We broke up cause we didnt see eye to eye and i was worried he was seeing someone on the side

The worst thing about having an affair with your mom...

She's so fat, even if I'm with her all the time, I can never know if she's seeing someone else on the side.

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Letter to GOD

A man worked in a post office.

His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God.

He thought,

"I better open this one and see what it's all about." So he opened it and it read:

"Dear...

What do you call someone trying to fake Italian heritage?

An impasta

what do you call someone who films spices?

A cinnamon-tographer!

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What do a burned pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn't pull out in time

“I felt nothing”

Man comes home at six and his wife gives him a peck on the cheek. Noticing his detached expression, she asks him what’s wrong. He says, “I felt nothing.” She takes a deep breath, then gives him the kiss of her life. He stares at her and repeats, “I felt nothing.” Hurt, her tears flowing freely, she ...

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Dave has been having a hard time at work, working really long hours for the past few months, so his wife decides to take him to the strip club.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "Hes on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if hed like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
<...

I went to the library to check out a medical book on abdominal pain

but when I got it home, I found that someone had ripped out the appendix.

Someone stole David's id...

Now we call him Dav

Someone asked me to describe myself in 4 words

I said "bad at counting"

If you ever feel useless in life

Remember it is someone's job to install turn signals on BMW's

Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life from out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes your life forever.

We call these people cops.

Q: Why did the blonde take her car to the Scout jamboree to get its horn fixed?

A: Someone told her the Scout motto is “Be prepared”.

My son was just born.

Another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday... he said maybe they'll marry each other.

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age.

What kind of phone gets someone thrown in a Romanian prison?

A self-own

The farmer and the bird

2 farmers were on other sides of one fence. 1 former shot down a bird and it landed on the other farmers side. The first farmer goes up to the second and says “this is my bird, I killed it so I should get it” the second farmer says “no it landed on my property it’s legally mine” the first farmer res...

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Woman cheats on her husband

A woman is cheating on her husband and her husband comes home early. In a panic her lover hides in the closet. While hiding in the closet he hears a voice "Sure is dark in here."

The man panics and turns and finds a little boy. "What're you doing in here?"

"I like hiding, what were you...

What do you call someone who writes Death Metal music?

A Decomposer

What do you call someone with a doctorate in carbonated beverages?

A *fizz*ician

If you give someone a Mahler Symphony record as a gift

Would it be considered a “Gustav Christmas Present?”

During a trial the defendant says "Your Honor, I believe that someone who saw his father die from the hands of a man he trusted most, and then witnessed the same thing happen to his mother, deserves to be granted a more lenient sentence".

The judge replies: "Sir, while I appreciate your concern, I do not think this line of thought applies to murdering your own parents."

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A man hook up with a girl at a bar.

When they get to his place and get in the bedroom, he can't get it up. Hes having whisky dick. She asked him to stick his big toe in her pussy. He does and wiggles his toe around for a bit. They were both really drunk and out of it at this point and eventually passed out. When he woke up in the ...

What do you call someone who makes numbers disappear?

A mathmagician

My advice: You should never date a cross-eyed girl.

I guarantee she'll be seeing someone else.

what the hell is wrong with society? someone donates a kidney and they're considered a hero

i donate 5 kidneys and they consider me as a mass murderer who deserves to rot in hell?

Why is it so hard to find someone that will dig you a tunnel?

Because it's a boring job

I got fired from my job at the sperm bank.

Every time someone walked in, I said “Get a load of this guy…”

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Expat moving to Canada.

August 12,
We moved into our new house in Canada. I'm so excited. It's so nice. The mountains are beautiful. I cannot wait to see them covered with the snow.

October 14,
Canada. It is the most beautiful country in the world. Leaves turned all colors and shades of yellow and orange. I dr...

What is it called when someone can’t smell?

Snyphilis

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The zoo’s female gorilla was going crazy, and the vet on staff had a grave prognosis. “She’s in her mating season, and after a lifetime of captivity, if she doesn’t mate, she’ll die.”

The zoo administrator was in a bind. There was just no money to transport in a male gorilla for mating to take place. So he decided humans where close enough to gorillas. Someone would have to fuck the gorilla.

After going through all options, offering as much money as the zoo could afford, ...

A stutterer called an emergency.

Dialog ensues:

Hi emergency here what's your emergency.
Hi-i-i I found a d-d-dead horse at the r-r-r-road. I do-don't want there t-t-to be ac-accidedents.
Can s-s-someone tak-ke it away?
Ok sir what is your location.
At spr-spr-spr-spri-spring...Springside Circle?N-n-No no...

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I struggled with winter until I bought a snow blower.

It has made my life a thousand times easier. I load it in the back of my truck and drive south until someone says "What the fuck is that"? and that is where I spend the winter.

How do you respond when someone asks to read your magazine?

"Brochure."

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It’s my cake day, so here’s a joke!

what do you call someone that doesn’t masturbate?




A liar.

It's easy to tell if someone is an organ donor.

In fact, its a dead giveaway.

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What kind of flowers do you get someone that's just had a labiaplasty?

Tulips

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun,the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and aske...

A keen hunter takes his wife deer hunting for the first time in her life.

He first explains the basics to his wife, and then says: "One thing is super important: Whenever you shoot something, you must claim it right away. Or else if someone else gets to the kill, they might claim it. So if you want deer meat in the fridge, make sure you're quick to claim it."

Of ...

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A man went hunting in the forest.

Suddenly he saw a bear. He tries to shoot it, but the problem being is that his rifle is pretty old, got it from his grandpa. He misses, the smoke from the gunpowder blocks his view. The smoke disappeared, and so did the bear. Suddenly, someone touched the hunter's shoulder. He turns around and sees...

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A man goes to the pub...

A man goes to the pub and gets incredibly drunk. He ends up being sick on himself and when he gets home, his wife is livid.



She tells him that this has happened too often and if he does it again, she will leave him.



The next night the man goes back to the pub, and it ha...

Donald Trump was asked "what comes after the letter b in alphabet"

Folks, let me tell you, this is a great question. It's a huge question, it's tremendous. Just last day a decorated veteran with tears in his eyes came to me and asked" sir, please sir, can you answer what comes after the letter b in alphabet?". And let me tell you, the answer is a big deal. It's a b...

what is the crime when someone kills their friend?

Homieside

(Old joke) A Polish man is in the bread line

A guy pops his head out and says, "sorry, but we are out of bread." The Pole in line begins shouting: "I have lived in this country all my life! I have lived my life for Communism! Now I have no bread after waiting in line for 2 hours! What were we fighting for? Communism sucks! I hate this country!...

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what do you call someone who likes all kinds of insects

beesexual

Someone asked President Biden, "Boxers or briefs?"

He said, "Depends."

Bronko Nagurski story

After retiring from the NFL, Bronko lived out the rest of his 82-year life on the shores of Rainy Lake on the Canadian border. He preferred not to "toot his own horn" and refused most interviews. Other than farming, Bronko ran a service station in International Falls with his sons. He became famous ...

My wife minored in psychology. She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.

When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, be...

When a mosquito bites me and gets away I feel like a bank that just got robbed

extra points if someone can figure out how to work "blood bank" into this joke. nobody robs blood banks so...

A flat earther is shown a map of the world

"Not only is this world flat as the map truly shows it to be but all the places and physical features are also fictional!" He says

"Why do you think that?" Someone asks

"Because in the key on the side it says everything is a legend."

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There was a man Who was extremely unlucky

There was a man, He waz so unlucky. In fact, he was so unlucky that the man was born with a single ball. One day this man got on the plane. After the plane went too high, the systems suddenly failed and the plane went into decline. But the aircraft crew said: If someone jumps off the plane, the p...

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Three men are standing at the pearly gates...

Three men die and are standing at the pearly gates in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells them, "To gain entry into heaven, you must tell me how you died."

The first man steps forward and says "Well, I got off work early today, and came home to my 10th floor apartment. Walked in, and found ...

How do you refer to someone who got over their anxiety?

Past tense

Which chemical element could be someones comic book fetish?

Manganese.

Someone asked how I would feel if the fine structure constant didn't exist.

My response was, "No Matter".

With the bribery and corruption scandal surrounding the World Cup, I want to remind everyone that money can't change someone's mind.

But I'm willing to try.

John was attending his buddy’s wedding and everything was normal…

The ceremony was at a beautiful church in the countryside, the officiant gave an insightful speech on the meaning of marriage, and the bride and groom were beaming throughout the whole thing. John couldn’t have been happier for his friend.

After exchanging vows, the bride and groom announced ...

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What does someone with depression and a necrophile have in common ?

They both feel like fucking corpses.

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A sailor arrives to a port city

He runs off to the closest brothel and begs the madam
“Madam, I just spent the last two years at sea with men only around me, I must be with a woman, but I only have 5 dollars, is there someone I can get for 5$?”

The Madam answers -
“Well, 5$ is way too cheap for anything… but, there is...

That’s a nice ham you have there…

It would be a shame is someone added a ‘s’ and a ‘e’ to it.

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How Do You Know If Someone’s Balls Are Ticklish?

You give them a test tickle.

Whenever someone asks me my pronouns

I tell them I just get by with the amateur ones.

Bubba

Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, “Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!”

His boss doesn't believe him, so he says “No you do not know everyone in the whole world.”

Bubba says “Yes I do!”

Bubba's boss says “Well prove it!”

Bubba says...

Two elderly couples are having coffee

The husbands are talking, and one says "Oh, we went to this most wonderful restaurant the other night. You should try it. It's down by the river. But I just can't seem to remember it's name. Help me out...what's the name of the flower, it's usually red, it has thorns, you give it to someone you ...

After a tiring day

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, a woman that was sitting next to him pulled out her phone.

When she pulled out her phone, she started talking to someone in a loud voice:

"Hi sweetheart, it's me, I'm on...

Have you ever dated someone with a high-pitched voice?

They're nothing but treble.

A guy is jailed for the first time...

A guy is imprisoned for his first time


On his first night, a few minutes after lights-out, his cellmate moves closer to the cell-bars.

A while later, someone from another cell shouts "Number 13!". His cellmate and the entire block bursts into laughter. The new prisoner finds this s...

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