UPJOKE
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If We're Going to Arm the Teachers

All I ask is that the librarians get silencers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To all the teachers who said I would be nothing but a construction worker and an alcoholic

Fuck you that just was a lucky guess.

A college student wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch.

However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said:

‘A swan shan’t be friends with a pig.’

‘Then I shall fly on,’ answered the student with a smile.

The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to...

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I've been having sex with an English teacher

She told me that proper use of the colon is a great alternative when a period is expected.

How many dance teachers does it take to change a light bulb?

5678

What does English teachers do on Reddit?

Edit: grammar

How do you get 100 Math Teachers into a room that only fits 99?

You carry the 1.

My teachers always told me...

My teachers always told me I'd never amount to much because of how much I procrastinated, I told them "just you wait."

Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.

They're definitely plotting something.

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My best friend lost his virginity to one of his teachers

Sounded cool until I remembered he was homeschooled

what is an English teachers favorite cereal?

Synonym toast crunch

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There is this African-American kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the kids of color.

So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. "Hey dad look im white!"

His dad kicks his ass, and says "Alright go show your mother."

The kid goes "Hey mom look im white!"

His mom beats the shit out of him then tells him to go show his grandma.

The kid aga...

Why are Math teachers never sick and English teachers always pregnant?

Because you can always count on a math teacher and English teachers do not allow contractions.

Where do math teachers go on vacation?

To time square.

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