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Come In Handy Jokes

Christmas joke (NSFW)

A 17 year old male walks into a drug store. He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean"

Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after paying...

Why women concealed carry. Even a small-caliber gun can come in handy in a confrontation.

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? A Beretta Jetfire testimonial.... Here is her story in her own words:

"While out walking along ...

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I'm glad I learned how to masturbate.

It's come in handy.

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I just read an article about premature ejaculation during masturbation.

It might come in handy.

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It's a good idea to know a couple wankers in your life.

They often come in handy.

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Confucius say....

"One who farts in church, sits in own pew"

"Learn to masturbate, it come in handy"

"Man who mix Viagra with Laxative, Not know when he coming or going"

"Man who make mistake in elevator, wrong on many levels"

"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it"...

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Why is it good to keep a chronic masturbator around?

They always come in handy!

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What does a tool box and a penis have in common

They both come in handy

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Do you have any special skills?

The interviewer asked if the applicant had any special skills. The applicant responded that they had been practicing day and night to become the best masturbator.

The interviewer was flabbergasted…and not knowing what to say….said “how is that a skill that is useful”.

The applicant rep...

Just started taking Sign Language classes

Who knew it would come in handy?

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A comedian wrote down some jokes about masturbation.

He thought they would come in handy.

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When I first discovered how to masturbate, I thought to myself...

That'll come in Handy often.

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Confucius say, masturbation is very useful;

may come in handy.

Robert Kraft doesn't always have a use for massage parlors.

But sometimes they come in handy.

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Why do single guys love their dicks so much?

Because they can come in handy.

What did the handicapped person say about his prosthetic arms?

These come in handy.

Anyone who loses his arms shouldn't just throw them out.

You never know when they'll come in handy.

I can fall asleep really fast after I whack off

It's really come in handy

Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos.

Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming.

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A boy walks in on his dad..

masturbating. His dad continues to vigorously masturbate while his son stands in shock.

The boy asks "Dad, what are you doing?"

His dad reponds "I'm masturbating, son. Pay attention to my form. It'll come in handy, cause you'll be doing it soon enough."

The boy asks "You th...

It's always good to carry some extra tissues with you...

You never know when you'll come in handy.

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A man contemplates if it's worth masturbating now so he can last longer in bed later.

It will come in handy.

Why did the masseuse give her lawyer a happy ending?

She thought he could come in handy. (I'll let myself out)

There is a man sitting at the end of the bar with an orange for a head

There is a man sitting at the end of the bar with an orange for a head. Another man, who is new in town walks in and sits down at the other end. After a few minutes he asks the bartender, “Who is that strange man with an orange for a head?”

To which she replies, “I’m not sure but he refuses t...

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