A grasshopper walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper, surprised and pleased, says, "Oh, really? Tom Collins?"

This is my favorite joke.

How did Phil Collins know about Lorde?

She wasn't born until 1996 but In the Air Tonight was released in 1981

[OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish.

He calls it faux-pho-phobia.

Where does Phil Collins record his songs?

In a stu-stu-studio.

I spent 2 years in rehab for my Phil Collins addiction.

I did it against all odds. Just take a look at me now.

What do Phil Collins and God have in common?

They were both introduced in Genesis and have watched people drown without intervening.

People used to say I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins....

Well, take a look at me now!

They said I'd never overcome my addiction to Phil Collins.

♩ But take a look at me nooooow ♩

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] "Good Luck Mr Collins"

Two astronauts successfully landed on the moon and transmitted their thoughts and feelings back to mission control. They described the moon's surface, the atmosphere, the temperature and their feelings of elation at being there.

Just as the transmission was going off, one of the astronauts w...

I'm the most hated person in the Senate

Ted Cruz: I'm the most hated person in the Senate.

Susan Collins: Hold my beer.

Brett Kavanaugh: Who said beer?

Twitter repost @Amanda_Kerri

What's the difference between an encyclopedia and a Republican senator?

The encyclopedia has a spine.

(Apologies to Senators Collins and Murkowski)