My roommate in college was a weird performance artist who outlined all his paintings using his penis.
I should have never moved in with Dick Tracy.
What do you call a woman who can't draw?
Lady Penelope returns to her mansion after a long weekend at Tracy Island
Upon seeing Parker in the main bedroom she commands him;
"Parker, take of my dress"
"Yes, M'lady" replies Parker
"Now Parker, take off my Bra"
"Now Parker take of my Panties"
"Now Parker if I ever catch you wearing my clothes...
A young man is sitting in a bar looking sad.
Bartender: What’s the matter son?
Man: My marriage is over.
Bartender: What happened?
Man: Tracy, my high school sweetheart and I just got married last month. We waited till the wedding night to consummate our love. But it didn’t go so well.
Bartender: That‘s pretty co...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What do you call a guy with a pencil strapped to his pecker?
A boy goes into confession...
The boy tells the priest, "Father I'm afraid I've been with a loose girl." "Hmm, ok son, what was the girls name?" "Oh I can't say." "Was it Mary Jane?" "No Father." "Adalina Mozarelli?" "My lips are sealed." "How about Cindy King" "I can never say." "Oh come on boy, I'll find out soon enough. It wa...
The district manager sent an email to the general manager.
It said "I'd like you to promote that one pretty girl with the good personality, I can't remember her name. I was very impressed by her work ethic. She seemed humble but extremely capable."
The general manager was confused as to which girl the district manager meant because there were two gir...
A college stud could get with any women he wanted.
Luke was pretty much perfect: star on the football team, top of his class, president multiple clubs, and was hot af. I mean, this guy has slept with hundreds of different girls, even his teachers. However, near his college career, he wants to settle down. He asks one of his best friends, Tracy, i...
Good thing that Michael J. Fox doesn't also suffer from Hayfever.
He's married to Tracy Pollan.
My Private Part Died
An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong.
'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.
'My Private Part die...
Dealing with Corporate Information Gathering
The other day, I was purchasing a television antenna in a major electronics store and was asked by the cashier for my name.
“Why,” I asked. ‘I don’t need a warranty.”
“I have to have it for our records,” explained the cashier.
Fed up with practice of companies gathering as mu...
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
Tracy said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does." Cathy giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft." Dawn quietly sipped her whiskey until Tracy asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?" Dawn frowned and said, "The postman." "Why ...