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Bryant Jokes

How are Kobe Bryant and Melania Trump similar?

They both made fortunes just by playing with orange balls.

I was going to tell a joke about Kobe Bryant...

But I wasn't sure it would land well.

Kobe Bryant's death was an important and historic occasion.

It marked the first time he's passed in years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kobe Bryant used to cry during sex.

But, then, Mace will do that to you.

Why did Lamar Odom give Kobe Bryant a dollar?

Because Lamar Odom

God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.

"I know for a fact we are gonna win," said God. "We have all the best players up here...Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on."

"I wouldn't count on that, God," said Satan. "You see, down here, *we* have all the referees."

How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?

His face was chiseled into the mountain.

I've been trying to come up with a somewhat sensitive joke for the anniversary of Kobe Bryant's death

But I don't think it would land properly..

Whats the difference between time and Kobe Bryant?

Time passes.

Why did the cannibal chef rush to the Bryant helicopter crash scene?

To get some fresh grass-fed Kobe beef.

What do Kobe Bryant and the marshal Tucker band have in common?

Their last big hit was fire on the mountain.

What do John wilkes booth, lee harvey oswald and kobe bryant have in common?

They never miss a shot

My dad is a lot like Kobe Bryant..

.. he's not here either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Kobe Bryant's teamates say to him while he was scoring 81 points?

"I'M FUCKING OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Before this year started, none of us could have predicted all this: Kobe Bryant, Australian fires, Coronavirus quarantine, Tiger King, toilet paper hoarding.

I guess none of us truly had 2020 vision after all.

Why did Kobe Bryant go to New Jersey after he got arrested?

Because he needed one.

Dark humour joke

Kobe Bryant missed a shot because of the flash of a camera.

To stop this from happening again, he stared at the sun for 8 hours to train his eyes.

It’s a shame he couldn’t see the mountain.

So an airplane was about to crash.....

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player, the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton ...

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