songvocalistoperasopranomusicjazzclassical musicmadonnacroonerchoirtenoraltosongwriterariamusician

Who's Santas favorite singer?

Elf-is Presley !

What do you call it when a singer gets a chance?

An opera-tunity!

What kind of computer is the best singer?

A dell
AI Image Generator

Don't marry a singer.

I married one and it was just "me, me, me" all the time.

A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar

He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."

How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb?

2. One to change it and one to sing about how much they miss the old one.

I just met the lead singer of Mushroomhead

He seems like a fungi

What do you call a "Gulf and Western" singer who's gained way too much weight?

Jimmy Hit the Buffett

What do you call a band that agrees with anything?


What do you call a band that you don't know any of the members?

The Who?

What do you call a band that likes to play childish games?


How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers

TIL the lead singer of Chumbawumba is married to a champion breakdancer. She had to give up dancing when she fell pregnant but, only three months after giving birth, successfully defended her title at the World Championship.

She got knocked up, but she got down again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of Italian guys are discussing who, if they could choose any woman in the world, they'd rather bang

One of them says some big name actress, the other says "Virginia Pippilini."

The first guy's like, "Who's that? Is she a model?"

"I don't know"


"I don't know."


"I don't know."

"Well if you don't know, why choose her?"

The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I opened the door last night to carol singers & said "Do you know Silent Night?"

"Yes" they replied
"Well piss off then because I want one!"

What vegetable is the best singer?

Corn, because it's always in hominy.

TIL Korean singers never say, "Yes daddy!"

They say, "K pops!"

Imagine you were friends with Oasis lead singer, Liam Gallagher.

You two grew up together and were the best of friends. That friendship was like no other.

You both bonded over many things, but the hobby you both got into was baseball. You’d both play catch, practice your pitches, and even went to watch pro games together.

During high school, y...

Why don't cannibals eat Gospel singers?

They keep throwing up their hands.

Have you heard about that singer with muscle atrophy?

He calls himself the weakened.

Who’s the smoothest singer?

Blender Carlisle

Dexter Holland wasn't always lead singer of the Offspring

Long ago he was in the seafood industry. He had a job shucking oysters for a restaurant. Anyway, one day he sees an ad for a competition in oyster shucking, but it is a team challenge. He shows up solo, and knows he won't be let in. His confidence is low at this point, but he still signs up. The att...

I recently met the singer of the band 4 Non Blondes

My friend asked me what I said to her

I said "Hey, what's going on"

My wife is a horrible singer .

When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

Who is Santa's favourite singer?

Elf-ish Presley

What do you call a well dressed pop singer

Billie Stylish

Singer Bill Withers had a brother called 'Bear'

Who wrote telephone hold music.

How do you turn a duck in to a soul singer?

Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers

Edit: if someone guesses the punchline change it to “rub it in the grass until its Al Green”.

Thank you for your time

When the singer from DragonForce came down with a cold...

He was hit with inspiration for their new hit song.

Through the Fire and Phlegm

What do you call a fake opera singer?

Placebo Domingo

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He’s a Singer songwriter…

…or sew it seams

What’s a singer’s favorite sandwich?


I like metal bands with female lead singers...

Something about women screaming makes me rock hard.

Who is r/jokes' favorite singer?

Repost Malone

Who was the cheesiest singer that ever lived?

Feta James

Richard Marx was a famous singer in the 80s

But did you know his sister, Onya, invented the starter pistol?

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Legendary Welsh singer Tom Jones visits Legendary Liverpudlian Cilla Black,with an offer of amazing sexy sex.

He says, "I'll make love to you three times, and each time will be better than the last. It'll be the best sex you've ever ever had. I'll need a sleep in between bouts, but apart from that it'll be sex sex sexy sex."

Cilla Black agrees, and Tom Jones, true to his word, gives her the most amaz...

Novice pirates are always bad singers.

They can never hit the high seas.

What was the jazz singer’s fetish?


What do you call a soul singer with a biscuit on his head?

Lionel Richtea

Did you hear about the opera singer who threw the game-opening baseball?

They say he had perfect pitch.

TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.

I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.

Which legendary soul singer had trouble peeing?

Urethra Franklin

There was a seamstress who wanted to be a singer…

One day, she found a bottle, rubbed it, and inside was a genie. The genie granted her 3 wishes. Her 1st wish was “I want to be a singer”.

Her wish was granted, and she was turned into a sewing machine.

Please, no jokes about the passing of singer and 'Rocky Horror' actor Meat Loaf.

For a great many people that's a rather tender subject.

A country singers truck

With the evolution of self driving cars it’s not gonna take long before a country singers truck leaves him as well as his wife.

A singer dies on the day of his concert

He really left his fans hanging.

What do you call the people with cameras that follow opera singers?

The pavarazzi

What do you call a singer after covid-19?

Post Carone

What's the worst place for a classical singer to get surgery?

The opera-hating room!

I am a really good singer

The shampoo bottles didn't say anything negative about me.

Who's the Death Star's greatest country singer?

Darth Brooks.

Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night.

Who is the Australian Frankesntein's favourite singer?

Rihanna, mate.

what's the difference between a rapper and a country singer?

Country singers keep their hoes in the shed.

Why are cats such great singers?

They're very mew-sical!

What's the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?

Eventually the puppy stops whining.

What was the name of that old French singer again?

I keep forgetting.

So this famous singer was doing a giveaway...

The prize was a tablet a brand new phone and 1 minute of singing on stage with this famous singer. So a girl named Jess signed her brother up for the giveaway knowing full well he hates crowds and technology but sure enough he won the contest and he was forced to go on stage with this singer. Boy oh...

I work as the lead singer in a U2 tribute band that provides free performances for charities and at protests

I'm a pro bono pro Bono

There was this wonderful singer in my choir class once. She couldn't read any of the music, but then again, tons of famous singers didn't read music.

I mean, Ray Charles couldn't read sheet music to save his life.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Singers can be selfish arseholes, especially when warming up...

It’s all “me me me me me me me”

what is a vegetable's favorite singer?

elvis parsley

what is a fly's favorite singer?

gnat king cole

What’s the difference between a terrorist and an opera singer?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What is a classical singer's big break?

An opera-tunity.

I love old singers

My favorites are 1940s French female singers.

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer

Get a large jar, place the duck in it and fill it up with vinegar. Then wait until it’s Bill Withers.

The lead singer of The Eagles has been arrested by Customs.

Apparently he was trying to smuggle exotic animals parts into the country.

It turns out that you can't hide those lion eyes.

Do you know that Indonesian Jazz singer?

Frank Sumatra

How do you know when there's a lead singer on your porch?

They can't find the right key and don't know when to come in.

TIL that Tibetan leaders can issue special forgiveness to buxom country music singers

It's known as the Dalai Pardon

Why are lumberjacks such great singers?

Their voice has an incredible timber.

All these singers dropping their new albums and songs.....

don't you think they oughta be a little careful the next time?

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Bono, the lead singer of U2 is known for being self-righteous ...

... He is also an A-list rock and roll celebrity.

At a recent concert in Glasgow Scotland, he asked the audience for complete and utter silence.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds. Holding the audience hostage in total silen...

What do you call a sad singer in a bath tub....

A soap opera...

(My first joke)

Singers needed

in choir within your local church.

Did you hear about that Islamic singer?

His songs were Shiite

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A singer is holding a concert indoors.

While doing so, he feels the urge to defecate. As soon as he finishised the piece, he excuses himself upstairs.

He notices the WC has the hole continue indefinitely instead of curving, but doesn't worry too much. He does his buisness and goes downstairs.

There, everybody is running awa...

Sam was a struggling singer

Sam wanted the new iPhone but he had no money for that so samsung

The singer Seal walks into a club.

Good thing he wasn't a baby.

Why don’t suspenders make good singers?

Because they don’t know how to belt

I like bands that are named for their lead singer.

You know, like Alice Cooper and Tool.

Bryan Singer and Kevin Spacey walk up to a bar

The bartender asks for their IDs. They walk away and say" well I guess we're not going to find what we're looking for here."

Which singer has problems casting spells?

Barry Mana Low

What do you call an angry singer flipping someone off?

A song bird.

Have you inspired many people to become new-age, Celtic singers?

Cos you’re making me wanna be Enya.

Why are singers so curious?

Because they are in-choir-ing.

I hate singers that sing in unison.

But I wouldn't harmony.

There was a Swedish singer who was Catholic

Theres a swedish singer who was catholic, then renounced religion and became atheist in her teens. When she was in her early 20s she decided to follow Catholicism again. She was a Björn again Christian

Which elf was the best singer?

Elfis Presley

(I’ll get my coat)


I was in a band in college and we sucked, but it was a fun hang so we just liked chilling and playing pop music without worrying about being technically proficient as we were all beginners to our instruments.

Of the three of us, I was the most experienced, as I’d been playing bass for...

I had to break up with my opera singer girlfriend...

It was always about MI MI MI MI MI!

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