Singer Jokes

Elf-is Presley !

An opera-tunity!

I married one and it was just "me, me, me" all the time.

2. One to change it and one to sing about how much they miss the old one.

A dell

They keep throwing up their hands.

He seems like a fungi

He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."

They say, "K pops!"

Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers

She got knocked up, but she got down again.

He calls himself the weakened.

Something about women screaming makes me rock hard.

Jimmy Hit the Buffett



What do you call a band that agrees with anything?



Yes.



What do you call a band that you don't know any of the members?



The Who?



What do you call a band that likes to play childish games?



... read more

My friend asked me what I said to her

I said "Hey, what's going on"

Corn, because it's always in hominy.

Billie Stylish

You two grew up together and were the best of friends. That friendship was like no other.

You both bonded over many things, but the hobby you both got into was baseball. You’d both play catch, practice your pitches, and even went to watch pro games together.

During high school, y... read more

Blender Carlisle

Long ago he was in the seafood industry. He had a job shucking oysters for a restaurant. Anyway, one day he sees an ad for a competition in oyster shucking, but it is a team challenge. He shows up solo, and knows he won't be let in. His confidence is low at this point, but he still signs up. The att... read more

So-la-mi

When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

Elf-ish Presley

Who wrote telephone hold music.

Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers

Edit: if someone guesses the punchline change it to “rub it in the grass until its Al Green”.

Thank you for your time

Feta James

But did you know his sister, Onya, invented the starter pistol?

They can never hit the high seas.

He was hit with inspiration for their new hit song.

Through the Fire and Phlegm

Placebo Domingo

Urethra Franklin

Repost Malone

Scat

Lionel Richtea

…or sew it seams

I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.

One day, she found a bottle, rubbed it, and inside was a genie. The genie granted her 3 wishes. Her 1st wish was “I want to be a singer”.

Her wish was granted, and she was turned into a sewing machine.

For a great many people that's a rather tender subject.

The opera-hating room!

The shampoo bottles didn't say anything negative about me.

They say he had perfect pitch.

With the evolution of self driving cars it’s not gonna take long before a country singers truck leaves him as well as his wife.

He really left his fans hanging.

The pavarazzi

Post Carone

Darth Brooks.

Who is the Australian Frankesntein's favourite singer?

Rihanna, mate.

Country singers keep their hoes in the shed.

They're very mew-sical!

The prize was a tablet a brand new phone and 1 minute of singing on stage with this famous singer. So a girl named Jess signed her brother up for the giveaway knowing full well he hates crowds and technology but sure enough he won the contest and he was forced to go on stage with this singer. Boy oh... read more

I'm a pro bono pro Bono

I mean, Ray Charles couldn't read sheet music to save his life.

elvis parsley

what is a fly's favorite singer?

gnat king cole

It's known as the Dalai Pardon

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Eventually the puppy stops whining.

An opera-tunity.

I keep forgetting.

My favorites are 1940s French female singers.

in choir within your local church.

Get a large jar, place the duck in it and fill it up with vinegar. Then wait until it’s Bill Withers.

Apparently he was trying to smuggle exotic animals parts into the country.


It turns out that you can't hide those lion eyes.

Frank Sumatra

They can't find the right key and don't know when to come in.

Their voice has an incredible timber.

don't you think they oughta be a little careful the next time?

A soap opera...


(My first joke)

His songs were Shiite

Sam wanted the new iPhone but he had no money for that so samsung

Good thing he wasn't a baby.

Because they don’t know how to belt

You know, like Alice Cooper and Tool.

The bartender asks for their IDs. They walk away and say" well I guess we're not going to find what we're looking for here."

Barry Mana Low

Cos you’re making me wanna be Enya.

Because they are in-choir-ing.

But I wouldn't harmony.

A song bird.

Theres a swedish singer who was catholic, then renounced religion and became atheist in her teens. When she was in her early 20s she decided to follow Catholicism again. She was a Björn again Christian

Elfis Presley

(I’ll get my coat)

I was in a band in college and we sucked, but it was a fun hang so we just liked chilling and playing pop music without worrying about being technically proficient as we were all beginners to our instruments.


Of the three of us, I was the most experienced, as I’d been playing bass for... read more

It was always about MI MI MI MI MI!