Robin Williams Jokes - 22 Hilarious Robin Williams Jokes

This is for Robin Williams

A man goes to see a doctor. Doctor asks what seems to be the trouble. The man says, "Doc, I'm depressed. Simply, I can't sleep sometimes, I can't eat, I feel down and irritable most days. I just can't feel 'happy.'"

The Doctor says, "I've got the perfect fix for you. In town tonight is the g...

People say to me Jesus was not Jewish

## I say ofcourse he was Jewish

+ 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents
+ Working in his father's business
+ His mother thought he was God's gift

## He's Jewish. Give it up

****
_by Robin Williams_

Happy Birthday Robin!

Robin Williams

Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

I have invented microscopic robots that can form the face of Robin Williams.

I call them "nanu-nanubots."

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Is it too soon for a Robin Williams Joke?

It's been a few weeks, so I think the waters are safe for this joke I told my cousin:

David Carradine and Robin Williams are in heaven, Carradine looks at Williams and says, "what do you mean you weren't jerking off?"

Robin Williams, circa 1980

First cannibal complains, "I hate my mother-in-Law."

Second cannibal replies, "Ehh. Just eat the noodles."

How does Robin Williams go thrift shopping?

Good Will Hunting

Robin Williams joke from Bicentennial Man

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

My favorite Robin Williams joke

U2 is playing a concert in Scotland, and as a hush comes over the crowd, Bono starts clapping his hands above his head very slowly.

As he claps, he tells the crowd, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." And a man stands up in the back of the room, and shouts "Then stop clappi...

A German talk show host once asked Robin Williams why he thought there wasn't much comedy in Germany

"Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?" he replied.

"No."

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The joke scene from The Bicentennial Man (1999) with Robin Williams

**Andrew Martin:** May one, sir? Is now a good time?

**'Ma'am' Martin:** What? A good time for what?

**Andrew Martin:** Last night, Sir taught...

**Sir:** No, no, no, don't blame me Andrew. Just... go ahead.

**Andrew Martin:** Thank you sir

**An...

What's the difference between a Tornado, and a divorce in the south?

Nothing. Somebody is losing a trailer.
-Robin Williams

Three engineers were arguing about what kind of engineer God is.

Electrical engineer: "surely God is an electrical engineer, the brain and nerves are a symphony of exquisite circuitry."

Mechanical engineer: "no, look at the ballet between bone, muscle and sinew. God must be a mechanical engineer."

Civil engineer: "God is a civil engineer. Who else w...

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says : Mr Smith you have to stop masturbating. The man asks : why doctor ?

Because I’m trying to examine you.

Joke is from the late, great, Robin Williams.

A Rabbi, a Rastafarian and 2 Chainz walk into a bar.

Robin Williams whispers, "Jew. Mon. G."

What do you call a man with his hand up a horses ass?

An Amish mechanic.

A favorite from Robin Williams

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Motherfucker

Kate and Bob were having sex in their bedroom. Suddenly they hear a noise. They turn around and see little Timmy, their son, in the doorway, looking shocked. After a few seconds, Timmy turns around and runs back to his bedroom. Bob looks at his wife and says:

-I'm gonna go talk to Timmy.
<...

My friends and I are all dressing as different Robin Williams characters at a Comic Con this weekend...

We're the Suicide Squad!

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A man with a head the size of an orange walks into a bar

He sits down, and orders a thimble of beer. The bartender looks confused, but gets him the drink. "Here's your drink, sir," says the barman. "But I have to ask. Are you, um, okay?"

^("Yes, I'm fine,") says the man. ^("It's not painful or anything.") He gestures at his tiny head.

"But, ...

A woodpecker's a bird...

...unless you're a puppet.

~ The late great Robin Williams

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A woman goes to a plastic surgeon,

A woman goes to the plastic surgeon and she's very nervous. The surgeon says "Would you mind if I numb your breasts?" The woman meekly replies that that would be favourable.

Surgeon says "Numnumnumnum!"

- credit goes to Robin Williams in *Bicentennial Man*

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The World's Greatest Piano Player.

A man goes into a bar and says to the owner. "Mr. Owner I am the greatest piano player in the world and you should give me a job." The Owner says "Well we need a pianist, tell you what play me a song and I'll see if you're any good." So the piano player starts to play the most fantastic song in t...

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