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Trophy Wife Jokes

The Trophy Wife

This guy is so sick of his hot trophy wife always asking for money.



So the next time she comes and asks him for some money he says "I'm not giving you any more money until you make some money for yourself."



So the next day he comes home from work and his wife says "I di...

Trophy Wife

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful looks and charm.

She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are ...

My Fiancé said she wanted to be a Trophy Wife

Now that we’re married all she does is lie around so much she can barely walk. And that’s how I learned my wife doesn’t know how to pronounce “atrophy.”

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My wife is what they call “A Trophy Wife”.

A participation trophy

My friend just married a trophy wife

Apparently she didn’t win first place

An 60 guy introduced his friend to his new trophy wife

When they alone without the wife they asked him : "how did you got such a hot wife? "

He said: " i lied about my age"

"did you tell her that you are fifty?" asked one of his friends

"no i told her i am eighty" replied the man

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I married a real trophy wife...

The names of the previous winners are all tattooed on her ass...

My trophy wife.

20 years ago, I married a trophy wife. Today, she looks like the Stanley Cup.

My wife said I’m lucky to be married to a trophy wife.

I said to her, they giving out last place trophies?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife calls herself a trophy wife.

I told her that's because I won the participation award.

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Old man and trophy wife

An old man walks into a car dealership with his young trophy wife on his arm. He walks up to the manager and says, "I want to make deal with you. If you can do three things that I can do, I'll buy your most expensive car with cash plus 10% extra for you. If you can't, I get the car for free."
...

A woman who had no degree, achievements, or useful skills, except for being good looking, used to be known only as a trophy wife

today they're mostly known as social media influencers

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I always wanted a trophy wife,

But instead I got a participation medal girlfriend.

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I chained up my trophy wife in the basement...

She's atrophy wife now.

Crusty but rich old guy asks his trophy wife if she'd like something special for their 10th anniversary.

Long-suffering wife: How about a divorce? That would be really special.

Husband: I wasn't planning to spend that much . . .

(Not original of course.)

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Hey Reddit - What's are some of your favorite one liners? I'll start...

Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I fucked up!

-Mitch Hedberg

A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn't first place.

-Steven Wright

Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the ...

An elderly man is getting married to his trophy wife, who refused to sleep with him until they were married.

The night of the wedding the both start undressing at their hotel. When he took his socks off, she saw that his toes were all deformed and bent. She asked "what the hell is that?"
"Tolio" the man replies.
"Don't you mean polio?" asked the women.
"Nope, when it's in your toes its called ...

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Kids can be savage...

This literally just happened a few minutes ago. I work at a school and this one girl was wearing a tee shirt that said "Future Trophy Wife". She was going to some effort to make sure other kids noticed the funny shirt she wore.
Eventually, another student shouted "WHAT KIND OF TROPHY? PARTICIPA...

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Straight to controversial, I know.

What did the millennial get on his wedding day?

A participation trophy wife.

Every time a test comes up, my friends and I joke about how we should become trophy wives.

But it seems like a lot of work to be a trophy wife; always dressing up, keeping in shape, keeping everything plucked. If I married a rich guy, I would probably wear sweatpants, watch Netflix everyday, and get fat on pizza and cookie dough. So instead of being a trophy wife, I'd be an atrophy wife...

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I know everyone is tired of the negativity with all the recent events...

I'm negative too. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I just can't comprehend how this guy is so successful. How did he win? And to be on the biggest stage in the world now. It doesn't make sense. No one ever thought he was a real contender, but here he is.

With all the scandal, how people think his ...

What do you call a rich man's white tank top?

A trophy wife beater.

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It was the mailman's lat day...

... and while going through his route, caring residents would see him and give him a gift for all of his hard work over the years.

He received nothing extraordinary until he reached a house where there happen to live a very attractive trophy wife. She swung the door open upon his revival, ha...

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Shipwrecked

After a shipwreck a young sailor an old man and his hot young trophy wife all make it to a deserted island. The sailor says Im going to climb up that palm tree and see if there is any one out there looking for us. He climbs up the tree and when he get to the top he looks down and yells "hey cut that...

My wife just lays in bed all day

She’s atrophy wife

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