My brother who stutters was sent to prison.

I feel bad knowing he will never complete his sentence.

My brother said he can't date someone without feet.

I guess he is lack-toes-intolerant.

I met Bruce Lee's vegan brother today.

His name is Brocko Lee.

Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, "Was I going up the stairs or coming down?...

I got a PS5 for my brother.

Best trade ever.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From my 13 year old brother: I had to pause my game today to take a massive poop...

It was the Call of Doodie.

I told my brother not to stand too close to the trees in our backyard.

I don't know why, but they seem shady.

birthday card I received from my brother...Forget about the past you can't change it, forget about the future, you can't predict it, forget about the present...

I didn't get you one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two brothers are in their room one morning. The older brother says, "Billy, I'm 9 and you're 6. We're practically men. So today when we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say hell and you're gonna say ass."

illy nods his head in excitement and they go downstairs. The boys sit at the table and their mom greets them.

"Good morning boys, what would ya'll like for breakfast?"

Billy looks at his older brother, who smiles and throws his arm over the back rest and says, "Ah hell mom, make it che...

My brother was murdered today

cop: do you mind identifying the body \[puts hand on my shoulder\] I have to warn you the body was hacked up.

me: \[tearing up\] yes that's my brother Reese.

cop: you're sure?

me: \[nodding\] those are Reese's Pieces.

My brother told me to make a bucket list so i did

Bucket List :

1. Plastic Bucket
2. Metal Bucket
3. Mop Bucket

My brother took going to jail pretty badly

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we never played Monopoly again.

Two dwarf brothers are walking home with one girl each...

Two dwarf brothers are walking home with one girl each, to do you know what.
The first dwarf goes to a room and gets in bed with one of the girls, but things don't go their way and after a while they give up. But the first dwarf can clearly hear the second dwarf yelling: "I'm coming, I'm coming!...

Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother!

Elf: You have my bow.

Dwarf: And my axe.

Necromancer: And your brother.

Why can’t a girl ask her brother for help?

Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too!

What do you call two Orthodox Jewish brothers who solve mysteries?

The Haredi Boys

I told my brother, "My wife ran of with my best friend Joe yesterday."

My brother looked at me funny for a minute then asked, "Since when is Joe your best friend?"

I looked back and replied "Since yesterday."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two 5 yr old twin brothers are laying in bed one night discussing how to act more grownup around mom and dad.

Suddenly one of the brothers says, "why don't we curse like grownups"? The other brother says, "great idea, what should we say". "I'll curse like daddy and say Aw Hell". "Oooh, good one I'll say You bet your sweet ass like mom says". They decide to surprise their mom the next morning at breakfast an...

Albert Einstein had a brother named Frank.

But he was a real monster.

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My mate broke his leg so I went to see him at home. I walked in and what do I see? He had two gorgeous older sisters, and they're TWINS ! I had never met them before, apparently they live at the uni and were visiting.

Anyway, so I went up to my friend's room, “How are you mate?”

“Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my socks from downstairs. My feet are freezing.” he tells me.

So I rushed downstairs and found his two sisters perched up on the couch, right where his socks lay.

I sa...

Two brothers went to their grandma's for Christmas...

The younger opened up his gift and was delighted to find a nice scarf his grandma had knitted for him.

The older found a card with his name on it. Inside it read "Merry Christmas, Love Grandma"

Later that night the older brother complained to his brother, "Why does grandma love you so ...

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I was born 20 minutes before my twin brother

But I set up my Reddit account a month before. So today is all mine fuckface.

My brother got a new pet hamster.

He wanted to think of a perfect name for him so he pondered for a while. Finally he came up with Cuba Gooding Jr. because he absolutely loved most of his movies.

One day Cuba got out of his cage and we couldn’t find him for hours. We looked everywhere, even into the garage and finally the at...

Aunt Millie's secret recipe has been stolen by Sara Lee's brother.

Alleged Lee.

My brother used to constantly ask me what was in the box

Like god dammit,we were at a funeral and i felt so akward

Brother in law joke

Where did my brother in law spend his honeymoon?

In diana

Three brothers and the lights

Three brothers are arguing about whom will turn the lights off. The first orders the second, and the second orders the third to turn the lights off. In the end they agreed if someone talks he’d turn the lights off.

Days past and the neighbours are starting to get worried about them so they d...

You know, the saddest thing about Dwayne Johnson's success as a movie actor is how he's completely forgotten his brothers who got him there.

Paper and Scissors.

Did you know Bruce Lee had a faster younger brother?

Did you know Bruce Lee had a faster younger brother?

Sudden Lee.

I’ve just discovered Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother…

Broco Lee

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."

The Pakistani's look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all!...

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Little Johnny and his brother at breakfast

One morning, Little Johnny and his older brother Billy are about to have breakfast, when Billy says to Johnny 'You know what? It's time we started to swear in front of mum. Let's begin slowly and drop a few cuss words." Just then their mother calls them for breakfast. They troop down the stairs and ...

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An old Jew is on his deathbed.

A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: "Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?" And Sarah says, "Yes, I am here."

He then says: "Are my children -- my wonderful children -- are they here with me?" And they reply, "Yes father, ...

Three brothers want to do something great for their mother's birthday

All three men are wealthy as two of them are doctors and one is a lawyer.

The eldest son proclaimed that he'd buy a big new house for their mother to live in and did so.

The middle son proclaimed that he'd buy an expensive and fast new car for their mother and did so.

Then the y...

n a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous.

Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wit’s end trying to control them.
Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the parents thought that they should ask the priest to talk with the boys. The priest agre...

There's been an explosion at the paint factory where my brother works.

He's missing, presumed red.

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There are three brothers. One is named Shut-up, the next is named Crap, and the last is named Manners

Shut-up was driving home when he was pulled over by a cop for speeding. The officer asks for his name and he says "Shut-up."

The officer gets mad and said "Sir I need your name!"

"Shut-up."

Officer "That is very rude! Tell me your name right now!"

"I said Shut-up!" ...

A man walks into an old pub in Dublin, takes a seat at the bar and orders 3 pints.

After he is served he takes sips from them in turn and when all 3 glasses are finally empty he orders 3 more. The barkeeper, who has been watching him, has never seen such a weird style of drinking and says to the man: “You know when you leave a beer for too long it goes flat, so they would taste be...

When we were kids, my brothers and I would race to put our shoes on every morning.

It always ended in a tie.

An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “...

Johnny’s Brother…

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.

He asked his mom, "Where'd you get him?"

His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."

Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!!

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Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan.

Tomato Means Harder And Cheese Means Faster. So We Were Having Sex And She Was Screaming Tomato Tomato Tomato Cheese Cheese Cheese, Then My Little Brother Said Can Y’all Stop Making Sandwiches Your Getting Mayonnaise All Over My Bed.

Why didn't Thor go to the party with his brother?

Because it was too Loki for his taste.

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Today I leaned it is not appropriate to call your brothers boyfriend

A brotherfucker.

Robots don't have brothers...

They have tran-sisters.

My friend was obviously upset, so I asked her what was wrong. She said they lost her brother last night.

Apparently, "Why aren't you out looking for him?" was not the reply she expected.

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It was recently announced that on July 20th, Jeff Bezos and his brother will launch into space on one of his Blue Origin spacecraft

If nothing else, now they will know what it’s like to piss in a bottle

My brother thinks I don't give him enough privacy.

That's what he wrote about me in his diary.

My brother got all his properties taken way and thrown in jail last night

When he was in jail he threw feces all over the walls..

That was the last time we played monopoly.

My Brother in law had a chat with a game warden once.

My brother in law was stopped by the game warden recently with two ice chests full of live fish in water; leaving a river well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”

“Naw, my friend, I ain’t got no license. These here are my ...

What is the name of Mao's funny brother?

Lmao

The first time I smoked weed I was in the back of my brothers truck,

we drove around for miles laughing at the dumbest things.

It was a great time but I must have been really high because I don't have a brother.

My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt.

Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."

So I took off her skirt.

Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..."

So I took off her bra and panties.

Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"

Did you hear about the Vietnamese brothers who became table tennis doubles champions?

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

Who was the skeptical man who dressed up as a woman to spy on the Wright Brothers initial flight test?

Mrs. Doubtflyer

My dumbass brother made a YouTube video by firing dad's taser at the camera.

What happened next will shock you.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, t...

Did you know that Coco Chanel had a crazy brother?

Loco Chanel

I'm really worried about my brother's kleptomania condition.

I wish he'd take something for it.

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My brother-in-law is a cop. Yesterday he told me that the only way he'd let someone out of a DUI is if they'd give him a blowjob.

I said, "Hey asshole! You're *married* to my *sister!*


"Just give me the DUI..."


-Anthony Jeselnik

Brother and sister Yu and So (long)

A young man named Yu and his sister So were involved in a terrible car accident. By some horrible coincidence they both developed amnesia from the accident. So’s amnesia was only partial, remembering much about herself but unable to remember important people in her life. Yu had it much worse, as he ...

My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together

We treated our dad with this fish therapy where little fish nibble on the dead skin until it is gone.

It was money well spent, because it was much cheaper than a regular funeral.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother was pissed at me when he found out I mated his wife

He bet $100 she would beat me in a game of chess.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

FACT: 24 astronauts AND the Wright Brothers were born in Ohio.

Something about that crappy state makes people want to flee the Earth.

A monastery had a rule: No talking whatsoever.

Once a year, there was an exception to the rule. One monk would get chosen to get up and speak.

The first year, Brother Matthew stood up. Naturally, the hall was silent. He stared at his audience for a minute. Then he spoke. "Hot this year, wasn't it?"

With that, he concluded his speec...

My brother prefers taking the stairs, but I always take the elevator.

I guess we are raised differently.

There were 3 brothers: Little Snowflake, Little Leaf, and Little Brick...

So one day Little Snowflake goes up to his mum and asks her:
- Why am I called like this?
- Because when you were born, a Snowflake fell on your forehead
So Lil' Snowie all excited goes up to his brothers and tells them that they should ask what about their names, so Little Leaf goes up to ...

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The dirtiest joke my Grandma ever told me.

A mother puts her two sons to bed, before they fall asleep.

The older brother tells his little brother, "I think it's time we started cussing."

The younger brother asks, "Well what are you going to say?"

The older brother responds, "I'll say, Hell."

The younger brother sa...

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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism.

Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government.

We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people....

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Today I learned that MacDonald's was founded by two brothers

named Mac and Dick. The most famous sandwich in America was that close to being called the
Big Dick

My twin brother and I used to finish each other's sentences ...

but now he's in jail.

A blonde is thinking:

How the hell does my brother have four sisters when I only have three?

My brother went to prison after robbing a bank but the police never found the money.

He managed to get access to a cellphone and kept sending me cryptic messages about where he hid the money. Eventually, I found it. When my wife asked me how I found it, I explained:

“I followed the con-text clues.”

I have a half brother.

From mother or father?
No, chainsaws.

I never wanted to believe my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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Two brothers walk into a bar

"I'm sorry Seamus, you're barred from last time" said the barkeep, "but Patrick can come in."

So Patrick winks at his brother, and walks up to the bar alone.

"Two pints please". The barkeep pours him the beers, and Patrick takes them both outside, only to come back barely a minute la...

All the comic books I inherited from my older brother had their last pages missing.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

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an irish girl returned to her home after 5 years

"Wher‌‌e hav‌‌e y‌‌e bee‌‌n al‌‌l thi‌‌s time‌‌, child‌‌? Wh‌‌y di‌‌d y‌‌e no‌‌t writ‌‌e t‌‌o us‌‌, no‌‌t eve‌‌n ‌‌a line‌‌? Wh‌‌y didn'‌‌t y‌‌e call‌‌? Ca‌‌n y‌‌e no‌‌t understan‌‌d wha‌‌t y‌‌e pu‌‌t ye‌‌r ol‌‌d Mothe‌‌r through?‌‌"
‌‌
Th‌‌e girl‌‌, crying‌‌, replied‌‌, "Dad..‌‌. ‌‌I beca...

Mama, how did I get my name?

(USA-centric)

"Mama, how did I get my name?"

"Why do you need to know, Loquinda?"

"It's for my homework."

"Well, I was staying at a LaQuinta Inn the night you were conceived. So I just rearranged the letters a bit to make a pretty name."

"Oh. That's cool. How did m...

Two friends in a pub one says:

"Hello John hows your brother Brian?"

"He died Alf"

"Oh that is terrible how did he die?"

"Well he was driving his car and he slammed on the brakes with such force he got catapulted out of the roof through my second floor bedroom window and landed on the bed"

"Oh that...

A teenager and their brother were playing by a lake

Suddenly, the older sibling pushed the younger one into the water as a prank (don’t worry, he’s okay). The kid simply started swimming on his back, to which the teenager asked how he did it. “I’m a little buoy” said the child.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a Japanese person say when their older brother crashes their car?

Oh, Nissan!

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Three muscular brothers are sitting at a table in a bar

A drunk old man is sitting at the bar counter and drinking beer.

After he finishes his drink, he approaches the youngest brother and says,

"I fucked ya mum"

The young brother is disgusted at the old man's words, but silently looks at the floor as the old man heads back to the co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room…

… catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother...

A husband and wife are expecting twins

A husband and wife are expecting twins; she's pregnant with a girl and a boy. A couple of weeks before her due date, the wife is hanging out with her brother at home and suddenly has shooting pains in her abdomen. Her husband is out of town for work, so she has her brother drive her straight to the ...

An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar...

An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar, orders three pints of Guinness, and drinks them down, taking a sip from one, then a sip from the next, until they’re gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, “You know, they’d be less likely to go flat if you bought them one at a time.”

The ma...

I'm starting to suspect I was cloned from my older brother

All my genes are hand-me-downs

*Adapted from a song by His Royal Weirdness

An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he spots a Preacher baptizing people in the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the Preacher...

The Preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,

'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

The drunk shouts, ' Hicc..yes, I am.'

So the Preacher grabs...

Al-qaeda soldier having a summer vacation

Al-qaeda soldier was given a vacation for serving a full year. His commander even gave him a plane ticket for his desired country. Soldier is full of joy and runs off to plan his trip.
Time comes and he gets in the plane.
While in plane he sees his friend from al-qaeda. He greets him and asks...

Guy and his comforter.

A newly married guy from a village went back to the city for his job. He went alone so that he could make living arrangements for him and his wife and then he'd take his wife as well. Once he got a decent apartment, he wrote a letter to his father in the village saying that father, please send my wi...

Two families meet on the road in the middle of the Afghan desert

"Peace be with you,brother ", says one man, "pray, tell me, why is your wife walking in front of you, when the Coran says the woman must follow her man"

"Well, when the Coran was written, there were no antipersonnel mines buried in the desert"

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There's a little known legend about the Brothers Grimm: they wanted to write a story to rival The Ugly Duckling. For 'research' purposes, they bought a hundred ducks and released them into a cave..

..planning to return years later to document their behavior. Unfortunately both passed away before that, and the project was forgotten.


This information came to light hundreds of years later in 2>!XXX!<, during an investigation into strange quacking noises and numerous missing p...

Hospital bill

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care ...

They didn’t remove the right one.

Request: Little brother was just diagnosed with testicular cancer. Lefty is a goner, but as the older brother, I feel the obligation to have some good jokes ready to help him feel better. Unfortunately the title is as good as funny as I get, so please help a brother out. Thanks.
Edit he’s in his ...

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A girl comes up to her stepdad and asks to borrow his car.

The stepdad denies her so she begs and begs and begs until finally the stepdad says, “fine, I’ll let you borrow the car if you drop on your knees and suck my dick.”

Disgusted, she turns around and goes back to her room.

30 mins later, she comes back to ask again because she really nee...

My brother just started taking a Klingon literature course

He says it has its prose and Khans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Brother’s acting all high and mighty now that he has COVID

Thinks his shit don’t stink

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Three vampire brothers decide to hold a competition to see which one of them is the most powerful

The first brother is the strongest.

"Watch this," he says, and takes off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Two minutes later, he returns, his mouth covered in blood.

"What happened?!" his brothers exclaimed.

"You see that mansion over there?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I went over...

For my first cake day, I would like to share a truly terrible joke I heard from my brother

On the day my friend discovered my reddit account he couldn't believe his eyes. How had I got so much karma? He didn't think it possible. Naturally, for days on end he asked and begged to know. I didn't want the magician to reveal his secrets, so for a while I simply didn't tell him. I thought he wo...

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet…

I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

My parents raised me as an only child,

Which really annoyed my younger brother!

Lawyers

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity....

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On a snowy, cold winter day...

On a snowy, cold winter day, a priest decides to go visit his brother. Because the path is all snowy, it takes him much longer than he expected.

It was already pitch dark when he sees a light... He decides to follow it and when he comes to it, there is a monastery full of nuns. He knocks and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friday night, Patrick went to his friend Paddy and said

"Paddy, I need a favor - I'm sleeping with the bartender's wife. Can you hold him in the pub for an hour after he closes up?"

Paddy was not very fond of the idea, but being Patrick was a lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.

After the pub closed, Paddy struck up a conversation with ...

My brother spilled apple juice on my laptop

It was a cider attack

Guys i just bought a 256GB iPhone 11, my brother dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!

The kid is 6 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.

my brother just came out of the closet

I still don’t understand how he untied himself?

Because it's my Cake Day, I'll tell you a cake joke my little brother (10) told me

It's a Dutch joke but I'll try to explain

So I had made a cake recently, and it just stood there on the table. So my little brother comes up to me and says; 'Kijk daar!' (Look over there) while pointing at the cake. So when I looked at it he says; 'haha je keek' (haha you looked)


<...

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter..

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. Bu...

An Irishman goes into a bar

in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks: "Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?"

The Irishman replies: "No! I have two other brothers back at home, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both."

The following week, the Irishman ord...

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My mother has the biggest boobs in the world

My mom always get raging mad whenever I mention that she has the world biggest boobs. She tells me that is improper to be introducing my two brothers to strangers like that and I should instead introduce them by their proper names.

A thug walks into a bar.

He sees a lone man sitting in front of his beer, crying.
He walks up to him, pushes him off the chair, slaps him left and right in the face and drinks his beer.

The man then started crying even louder and sobbing in absolute desperation.
The thug, annoyed, yelled: Why are you crying lik...

Why do people like Frieza’s brother more than him?

He’s Cooler

The first female president is being sworn in.

Her Jewish mother is sitting in the second row next to a Supreme Court Justice, watching. The judge leans over and says, "Madam, you must be VERY proud."

The mother says, "Well, you see that girl with her hand on the Bible? Her brother's a doctor."

Two Arkansas brothers decide they are going to do their patriotic duty and enlist in the military.

The first recruiter's office they come to is an Air Force recruiter. The two walk inside, and are greeted by the recruiter, " Gentleman, what can I do for you today? He asks.


One of the brothers speaks up. " My name is Darryl, and this is my brother Billy Ray. We would like to join up Sir...

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A church needed a new bell ringer

A church needed a new bell ringer, so the priest placed a want ad in the local paper. Soon, a man showed up to apply for the job.

The priest, on seeing that the man had no arms, said, "My son, I'm afraid there is no way for you to do this job."

"Father, I really need this job, and I'm...

A letter an 83-year-old lady wrote to her grandson.

My dear grandson,



Some days ago, I experienced something wonderful, which I want to share with you.

I went to a religious shop and found a car sticker saying: "Honk if you love God!"

I decided to buy it and stick it on the bumper of my car.

When I went away, I was...

Two Piglets

In a small village, two children are given two piglets by their parents.

The younger brother asks the other, "How will we tell them apart?"

"Well how about we cut the tail off my piglet, that way the one with the tail is yours and the one without a tail is mine." answered the older bro...

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My brother called my hat gay

Well yeah, it spends almost all day on top of a guy

my brother and i are totally failing at reaching out to women's groups to let them know of new vaccine availability

not one response to our invitation to a johnson & johnson injection

Signs of our times

My brother says hiring in California is so low, they updated the policy - Long hair freaky people "may" apply.

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.

Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart....

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Three Brothers

Three brothers all decide to get married on the same day. Following the ceremony they're in the bar discussing how many times each is going to have sex with their new wives that evening and they soon set a wager. The following morning around the breakfast table, obviously unable to discuss the wager...

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says,

'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour driv...

One day I convinced my brother to swallow a torch

It was worth it just to see his little face light up

One from my little brother

My little brother and I were playing on the Xbox the other day and our game was really slow so he said, “why don’t we get it some shoes so it can run faster.”

Sorry

I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.

His name was Legofirst.

My brother Joe started the Dolly Parton diet.

It really made Joe lean Joe lean Joe lean Joe lean

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