An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to her and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a handsome prince.”

She bent over, picked up the frog and put it in her pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a handsome prince, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of her pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out...

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him, "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows."

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown."

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to ...

A prince which was in love with a princess was cursed by a witch so that he could only say 1 word each year, he didn´t speak for 4 years until he finally said "Princess, I love you" Then the princess looked at him and said

"What did you say?"







Btw, i took this from a novel i red so some might have heard it before.

A Prince was visiting a small, unknown village wearing a fancy hat made from the hair of a fox...

The villagers asked the Prince, "That is a magnificent hat you have, what made you decide to wear it?"

"Well", said the Prince, "I was telling the Queen about my plan to visit your small village and she replied, 'Wear the fox hat?' And that's why I'm wearing it today"

I heard that Prince Charles tested positive for Covid-19

Looks like he got coronated at last!

a prince was put under a spell so that he could speak one word per year.

if he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words, and so on.

one day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. he refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her "my darling". but then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more year...

Prince Charles is in isolation with Covid - 19

His brother Andrew is in isolation with Bethany - 14

Prince Charles is actually happy about getting COVID-19.

Now he doesn't have to worry if he will experience coronation.

Prince Charles contracts Corona Virus

All part of the coronation process

Why was Prince Andrew hoping to contract Corona-virus?

He wanted to spend more time inside quaran-teens.

What is the difference between a chimpanzee with a baby, Prince Charles, and a person with alopecia?

One is a hairy parent, one is an heir apparent, and the other has no hair apparent.

Of all the Disney Princesses, Cinderella is the most experienced and competent at deep-throat

She is most well-known for struggling -- and ultimately **succeeding** -- in her desperate quest to reach the ball!

Prince Charles is Isolating at Balmoral

Prince's Charles is Isolating at Balmoral Castle with Covid-19

Prince Andrew is Isolating at Windsor with Jenny - 14

What do you call an Arabian Prince that owns a herd of cows?

A 'Milk Sheik'.

Prince Charles diagnosed with Covid-19. Camilla has been cleared

Apparently horses can’t get the virus

What do you get if you cross Prince Andrew and Donald Trump?

Murdered in your prison cell.

What happens when a prince get coronavirus?

A coronation

I saw a little person at a Halloween party. He was dressed as Prince Andrew but hauling around a small compressor with him.

I approached him and asked what the deal was and he told me he was "compressed heir."

A Nigerian Prince has offered to hand over control of his mines to me.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.

A man finds a magic lamp...

...so of course, as the deal goes, he gets his three wishes from the Genie inside the lamp.

"For my first wish, I want to be a prince", the man says.

The Genie nods. "Yes, yes. That can easily be arranged."

"For my second wish, I want to live in luxury, the most beautiful cas...

I got an email from a Nigerian Prince asking me for $100,000 to help him build a business and in return I am promised 10 fold. What does he think I am a fool?

I already invested in a Prince from Qatar for half the price last week. Sucker can’t scam me.

Prince Harry is leaving the royal family to become a painter

He's going to be the artist formerly known as Prince.....

What do Prince Andrew and Tide Pods have in common?



They should always kept away from children

Prince Andrew has said he's had some ups and downs in the past year.

Wouldn't that have something to do with being the Duke of York?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The reactions to the half time show are pretty mixed. I've seen some people say it was the best since Prince and some people say it's the worst since Coldplay. Others have said it was complete ass.

It’s hard to tell what they think.

"Prince Andrew, did you manage to handle that interview well?"

"Yeah, no sweat"

The kingdom was in shock to find out that the prince's mother was also his aunt

He was an ingrown heir

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Prince Andrew, Manchester United & the black eyed peas have in Comon?

It all went to shit when fergie left.

Prince Andrew

I'm so sad, I've just heard the news:
’Prince Andrew’s fatal car crash accident in Paris tunnel’...

Next month.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on.

That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me..!"

Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigor, but it would not budge.

"Harde...

A Drunk Man

A drunk man was (still) up in the morning after a heavy night of drinking. He was still thirsty though so he decided to check which pubs would be open.

He first approached 'The King's Arms' but it's wasn't open until the afternoon so he moved on.
Then he saw a sign next to 'The Prince's Sw...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a ridiculously bored King in a small town decided to have a contest and the winner would choose, either to marry his daughter, gold and riches... Or name anything that he desires.

Whomsoever jumps down the moat filled with crocodiles, swims to the sides and climbs back up unharmed shall win the contest and name his price.

The crowd gathered near the edge of the moat where the king shouted:

"Is anyone brave enough to entertain me?". And noone dared to respond.<...

COVID-19 Pick-Up Lines

If COVID-19 doesn't take you out... Can I?

Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?

Since all the public libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead.

You can't spell virus without U and I.

Baby, do you need toilet pape...

The truth was that Rapunzel didn’t want a prince to save her

She was just kinky and wanted someone to pull her hair

Meghan and Prince Harry have announced the name of their new baby boy.

They're going to call him Seatbelt.



It's what his mother would have wanted.

Prince Andrew comes home to Buckingham Palace

Prince Andrew comes home to Buckingham Palace and finds his girlfriend crying and packing all her stuff.

When he asks her what’s wrong, she sobs that she is leaving him because people are calling him paedophile.

With a look of disbelief, he steps back and says, “Whoa! That’s a big wo...

Snow White was texting the prince...

when a horse and carriage came out of no where and hit her. Unfortunately, she died on the spot.

The driver of the horse and carriage cried, “It wasn’t my fault. She was distracted by her cell phone!”

Within hours, the entire kingdom learned of Snow White’s death. When the prince event...

I remember paying $20 once to see Prince

.. but I partied like it was $19.99

How do you keep a prince cool?

Use an heir conditioner.

If Prince Zuko worries about about where the avatar is

Does he have Aangxiety?

What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip?

Murdered in a tunnel in Paris.

Saudi Arabian Prince goes to Europe to study.

In a few months he writes a letter to his father:

"Hello, father. My studies proceed well. I like everything here. People are friendly, and student life is abundant. However, one thing worries me very much. Every time I come to school by my Lamborghini, I feel really uncomfortable, because a...

what's the difference between a ball and a prince?

one is thrown in the air and the other is heir to the throne.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the prince's ball?

Gag

Prince Philip turns up to a political event 20 minutes before everyone else

and the doorman says

“Blimey Phil, you’re early”

And Philip replies “Actually Bob, I think I’m more dukey”

A Saudi Prince is in Paris to meet a business associate.

They meet in a stylish bistro where the French businessman orders "un cafe".

Not wanting to be outdone the Saudi orders two cafes, a restaurant and a distribution warehouse.

Once there was a prince who, through no fault of his own was placed under a curse by a witch.

The curse dictated that he was only allowed to speak one word a year. However, he could build up credits if he had not spoken for a year.

One day, a beautiful princess came to his kingdom, and he decided to refrain from speaking for two years so that he could say "My darling."

However,...

I brought my lady friend some toilet paper yesterday.

It's clear she finally found her Prince Charmin.

When I die I'm going to entrust my money to a Nigerian prince

...on the condition that he can find a valid US bank account to transfer it to.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prince is hanging out with his best friend

Friend: So you want to break up with her?

Prince: Yeah, I have to.

Friend: Just because she is really shy, moody, dumb, has allergies, and has narcolepsy?

Prince: That is not what I said. I said she is fucking Bashful, Grumpy, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy, and Sleepy!

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince

But apparently only seven before you're banned from that stuck-up aquarium

All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Prince of Denmark wanted to know the proportion of women in his country who were prostitutes.

So he called his friend Horatio.

Who could've expected conservative party member Boris Johnson....

would end up getting a Prince Albert?

You get a letter from the Queen for your 100th birthday, what do you get for your 16th?

A text message from Prince Andrew.

Donald Trump was challenged by the police over his recent Twitter gaffe about meeting the Prince of Whales

He was let off with a cetacean

My little brother wanted to be treated like a prince...

...So I slit his throat while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Prince's guitar and Donald Trump?

One's a sexy Fender.

Prince Harry had his Bachelor Party last night in London and here is his "Quote of the Day" from that memorable event:

"It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."

Just heard that Harry is thinking of taking up painting full time after stepping down from the Royal family.

He'll be the artist formerly known as Prince.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Henry Heimlich, the creator of the Heimlich maneuver, was getting frustrated.

Everywhere he went, people pretended they were choking to see what he would do. One day, he visited England. During a banquet with the royal family, the Queen grabbed her throat and bent over. Heimlich ignored her, and she confessed that she was faking. Later, he passed a prince on the street, and t...

You have to give Prince Phillip credit for his driving record....

He hasn’t been involved in any other accidents since 1997.

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess..."Will you marry me?"

The Princess said "No!" and the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. THE END

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Imagine going from the high life. Blowjobs on demand, people at your beck and call. Suddenly, your paycheck disappears, no one wants to come near. You can't even see your own mother. On mother's Day!.

Enough about Prince Andrew. How are you keeping?.

An old king was about to pass away

He called his three sons before his sickbed. He gave each of them some coins and asked them to buy something to fill the room, whoever can fill the room the best will be declared his successor.

The eldest prince went to the market and bought a cart of straws. Despite his best effort, he only ...

Why can you not break Prince Rupert's Drops Monday thru Friday?

Because you have to hit them on the weak end.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prince in a distant and very rich kingdom decided it was time to get married.

After announcing his intentions, three beautiful noble women showed up as candidates.

Not knowing which one he should marry, the prince had the idea of proposing a contest. He gave 1000 golden coins to each woman and told them: "You have 5 days to spend all of this coins, then come back to me...

My first original joke. Feel free to critique

Prince William, Catherine, and their children were all enjoying dinner one evening. The food did not sit well, and everyone but Catherine was experiencing gas later that night.

“I’m surrounded by a bunch of tooters!” exclaimed Catherine.

William said, “Dear, we’re not Tudors - we’re WI...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and got lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives.

The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation.
He asks the first guy what his job was.
"I'm an employee at the shooting range," he replies.
"Then we'...

They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99.

It will be the bill that was formerly known as a Twenty.

Looks like Prince Philip's been in another accident.

They shouldn’t let him drive..........The Dukes a Hazzard.

A long time ago, a young prince was married to a young princess, ending the feud between two warring kingdoms.

On their wedding night, the princess says to the prince, "I offer you my honor."
The prince replies, "I'm honored by your offer".

That's how it went all night- honor and offer, honor and offer...

A son of a wealthy arab prince goes to college in europe

After a few months he gets a letter from his father asking how he is, and how's college life, etc.

And he replies to his father: "oh, everything is fine here, but it is really strange, most people here come to college by train and bus, and I'm the only one driving a golden Ferrari every day t...

The crown prince of Saudi Arabia is talking with his counselors.

One of them asks, "What are your current plans?" The prince says, "I'm going to starve to death a few hundred thousand people in Yemen and dismember one journalist." The counselor asks, "Why the journalist?" "See, no one cares about the people in Yemen."

Jasmine tried to attend a "Disney Prince Only" gathering

She wasn't Aladdin.

1978: UK's prince marries, Liverpool wins the Champions League, the Pope dies.

2005: UK's prince marries, Liverpool wins the Champions League, the Pope dies.

2018: UK's prince marries, Liverpool is in the Champions League final, and the Pope is cheering for Real Madrid like a madman.

Proud of actually making my own joke for once (even if only makes me and my husband laugh...)

What's the difference between Prince Harry and Scotland?

Prince Harry was given permission to leave the UK ;)

Prince Phillip has finally apologised to the crash victim saying he’s deeply sorry...

Only took him 21 years

A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome.

Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If kings are in charge of kingdoms, emperors are in charge of empires, and princes are in charge of principalities....

....then who is in charge of a country?

Three young princes

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. 

No matter what; metal, wood, stone, everything she touched would melt. 
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare mar...

Prince Harry takes Meghan on a date. Who pays?

The taxpayers.

Prince Harry’s bachelor party had to be pretty awkward.

He was putting pictures of his grandma in a strippers G string.

Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia Wants to Get to the Truth of the Khashoggi Murder

He's hired OJ to track down the real killers.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

She was a princess, He? a prince

She offered her honor.
He honored her offer.
All night long, it was
Honor, and Offer.

I've just been scammed by a Nigerian Prince

His version of Purple Rain was abysmal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The princess wouldn't let prince make love to her

Ages ago there was a kingdom where a royal wedding took place.

Prince and a princess had a feast and then went to their chambers to consume their marriage, but there was a problem - the princess wouldn't let prince make love to her.

The prince waited and tried every day for next couple...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prince charming wants to get married.

Prince charming want to get married, finds Snow White and asks:

Will you marry me?

"Of course, Majesty."

Prince charming shows his penis and asks:

Do you know what this is?

"Your beautiful penis, Prince.

I'm leaving. I want an innocent woman.

The Prin...

Where did Prince Charles go on his honeymoon?

indiana

We have all heard stories...

We have all heard stories of a frog turning into a prince but Meghan Markle has become the first woman to turn a prince into a frog.

Once upon a time, a frog told a princess that if she kissed him he'd become a handsome prince.

Turns out, he was just full of flies.

What's the Queen's favorite Prince song?

Purple Reign.

Following the events of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, how did the Hogwarts payroll department satisfy the sudden termination of Albus Dumbledore?

Severus Package

A wise Nigerian prince once said…

"I think, therefore I scam."

If Prince is dead then...

Is his music now "royalty-free"?

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

you look for fresh prince.

A Nigerian prince secretly orders a 2nd wife over the internet from Thailand.

The wedding was a black-tie affair

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.

“Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really, really rich.” ***POOF*** her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

She smiles and says, “Gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.” ***POOF*** she turns into a beautiful young woman.

“Your third wish...

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