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Diana Jokes

Exactly 22 years ago Princess Diana was on the radio...

...She was also on the windshield, dashboard, and glovebox.

"Diana!" I said greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door...

She said, "My name's Anna."

I said, "Yeah, I know."

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

The police found her head and shoulders in the glove box.

If Tiger Wood and Princess Diana played a round of golf who would win?

Tiger Woods! because he has a better driver!


I'll be in hell if you need me.

What's the difference between "Thomas the Tank Engine" and Princess Diana?

Thomas made it through the tunnel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prince Philip meets Diana in heaven

So Prince Philip enters the pearly gates and one of the first people he sees is Diana - whom he notoriously didn't like.

"Hello my dear, what a lovely halo you have," he says.

"Fuck off Philip, you know it's a steering wheel."

Did you know Princess Diana’s limo driver had a side job?

He was also a beaver trapper. He would sell his pelts at trade shows on his days off. Even when he wasn’t driving he liked to show fur.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dolly Parton and Princess Diana pass away on the same day.

They arrive at the pearly gates at the very same time.

Saint Peter is waiting in judgment. With both women vying for entry, St. Peter announces, “Ladies, I only have one more space in Heaven today. You’ll have to prove you’re worthy.”

Dolly Parton laughs and says “No problem, Pete!” ...

Diana Ross just resigned as a Member of Parliament.

Apparently it was a Chain Reaction.

I was in the Post Office queue yesterday when Diana Ross tried to push in.

I said “You can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait...”

Princess Diana was so young and new that when she got married ...

... she was barely regal.

What would princess Diana...

...be doing, if she was still alive today?


Scratching her coffin and screaming.

So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr.

She's all over the dashboard!

What do Princess Diana and Champagne have in common?

Both come from France in a wooden box.

I added princess Diana as a profile on my Xbox

But unfortunately she's only on the dashboard

Princess Diana goes to heaven...

Princess Diana goes to heaven and meets St. Peter. He says to her: Here in heaven we are all equal, so you need to take off the crown. She replies: This is not a crown, it's a rim

There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.

I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.

I was surprised to learn what Princess Diana died from.

It was car-pole-tunnel syndrome.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was having sex with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate Jones entered the room

"I'm indiana jones! Get out!"

I took a class about Princess Diana once

It was a crash course.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Introducing my girlfriend to my family .

ME : this is my gf Diana

Diana : hi

Wife : what the fuck?

Princess Diana was all over the radio the night she died,

And on the dashboard, the seats and the steering wheel...

What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360?

The dashboard.

The marriage of Charles and Diana was doomed from their wedding night....

...that's when Diana discovered that not all rulers are 12" long.

Why didn't princess Diana carry any cash?

Who would like their purse to be full with pictures of their mother-in-law?

Why didn't Superman rescue Princess Diana?

Because he was in a wheelchair.

I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list.

I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard...

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seat-belt.

Credit goes to some caller on the Dean Blundell show. I couldn't make that up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dolly Parton and Princess Diana are at the pearly gates of Heaven...

St Peter, standing guard, asks them to share their contributions with him. Dolly Parton lifts her shirt and shows him her boobs. Then Princess Diana takes a cup, pees in it, and hands it to St Peter. St Peter asks them to hold on for a moment and then walks away. When he returns, he lets Princess Di...

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