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Snacks Jokes

What do you get when you mix scoobie snacks and weed

A Scoobie Doobie

A husband walks into his wife and her friends sitting on the couch eating snacks

"bunch of fat cows" muttered the husband

"what was that" shouted his wife

"you herd" replied the husband

why are 8,9 and 10 always eating snacks and soft drinks?

Because they are in the 7/11

An elephant and an ape go to a party together. They want to bring some snacks: crackers and dips. Which of them buys the crackers?

The elephant.

Because the ape always buys the dip.

Everyone knows Alan Turing, who cracked Enigma codes.

But nobody knows his sister Kate, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting on a flight from NYC to London

He feels a little cold, so he asks the cabin attendant for a blanket. The cabin crew completely ignores him. On the seat next to him is no other than a parrot. The parrot screams "get me a scotch on the rocks you stupid cunt". Not a moment passes and the parrot gets a nice glass of whiskey. The man ...

I like both sweet snacks and salty snacks

I’m bisnacksual

At work today I brought my team new markers, crafting paper, decks of cards, and snacks

They didn’t know I was coming, so I jumped out and yelled SUPPLIES!!

(We work in Children’s mental health and everyone got a kick out of it)

If we are not meant to have midnight snacks......

Why does the fridge have a light ?

Bullets are like snacks

Always keep one for yourself and share with others

What does the President call his favorite snacks?

Executive hors d’oeuvres

How big do computers like their snacks?

Byte sized

What's it called when you share your fruit snacks?

Welch Redistribution.

What are the perfect snacks to bring to a coming out party?

Twinkies.

Courtesy of my seven year old:. What kind of trees can you find snacks in?

Pantries.

China have announced their new rage of meat free snacks.

"Not Poodle"

To cut costs even more certain airlines will now only serve snacks to passengers on the left side of the plane.

Their justification is the passengers sitting on the right side are already F-E-D.

V1. What do you call snacks with people you like?

Friend chips.

Open to edits and suggestions. My daughter helped with the crunchy part of the joke.

Apparently I wasn’t worthy of posting it to r/dadjokes because of my lack of commenting on other people’s posts to build up my street cred. Apparently up voting things isn’t enough.

A man was in the supermarket buying snacks for lunchtime when he saw a new babybel cheese with multi-colour wax.

The type of cheese wasn't labelled but he decided to try it anyway and found he really liked it. However, he couldn't decipher what cheese it was so he bought another one the next day.

The next day he yet again enjoyed it but still couldn't figure out what it was. His friend said he liked c...

Did you hear about the guy destroying snacks at the grocery store?

He's on the registered Chex offender list now.

What do computers eat for snacks?

Micro-chips


(Discovered on a Firecracker Popsicle stick)

A teacher asks her class their favorite after school snacks.

“Decklyn,” the teacher calls to the new student in the back of the room, “what’s your favorite after school snack?”

“Nuts,” he replies.

“Very good,” the teacher replies. “What kind of nuts? Peanuts? Pine nuts?”

The boy shakes his head and answers, “Doughnuts.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't watch erotic law enforcement videos without snacks.

I need popcorn for my cop porn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are companies who sell snacks sexist?

Cause they avoid trans fat

I asked my lawyer friend how he keeps smuggling snacks into the courtroom during trial...

...He said, "Easy, I just keep them in my briefs."

Hey girl, are you the SAT?

Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."

Polar bear: Don't you just love these little igloo snacks...

Crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside.

Where do Jihadists get their snacks?

At the Allah hu snackbar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always like to have snacks while I surf porn.

That way, I'm packing on the poundage while I'm pounding on the package.

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