A brother hits his sister in the eye with a pool noodle.

It was an accident but the girl gets a really nasty black eye. So the next day the girl gets to tell to all her friends about it and blames the brother. The brother doesn’t like the unwarranted attention.

He goes to his father and tells him he doesn’t like his sister telling everyone he hit ...

What do girls and noodles have in common?


They both wiggle when you eat them.

What's the best method for counting noodles?

Ramen numerals.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An ImPASTA !!!


Bet you tell at least one person, that joke :P

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Japanese chef ask to his boiling noodles?

Udon yet?

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta

What psychosis do you have, if all you can think about is Chinese noodles?


A Vietnamese restaurant is offering herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup.

Thyme fries when you’re having pho.

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Timmy and his noodle

One day my son, Timmy, came home from school asking,

"What's the dangly thing between my legs called?"

I responded, "That's called a penis also referred to as a dick, peepee, or noodle."

The next day Timmy was taking a test at school and was stuck on a question on a test. He ca...

My ex girlfriend used to call me noodles

Because I only lasted 2 minutes.

I like my girl like my noodles...

wiggly when I eat them

hot and ready in 2 mins

What does a noodle say if they see a noodle being very slow?


What do noodles call the shady part of town?

The Spaghetto.

What do you call the place where bad noodles live?

The Spaghetto

What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?


I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.

I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a ...

Loving noodles is almost as if you are religious

Can I get a ramen?

What are the mafia's most favorite noodles?

Pasta asciutta.

My dream is to create a bioengineering startup that solves world hunger by developing a self-replicating noodle

Laugh now, but one day you're going to see my Copy Pasta everywhere.

How much do Chinese noodles weigh?


Today I learned the history of the word noodles

Back in ancient Asian territory, they created a food product. They chose to trade it with the Western world. When asked what they called this food, they realised they didn't have a name for it yet. It was a great food that always ended with empty bowls, so they decided to take the English words 'nau...

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What do you call a fake noodle

An Impasta!!!
Sorry lol

Edit- getting lots of downvotes. I get it, it's a stupid joke but i'm just trying make people laugh. Maybe even chuckle a little bit:) hope everyone is having a good day and if your day was shitty I hope it gets better:)

What’s the WiFi password at a Vietnamese noodle shop?


What do call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Sorry, just wanted to copypasta.

What's the difference between Anthony Mundine and two minute noodles? [OC]

About 25 seconds.

What do you call noodles cooked with roofies?

Forgetti Spaghetti

I know this terrible joke about noodles...

It’s the pho-king worst.

What did one stoner noodle say to the other?

Pasta blunt homie.

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

Bonus: by u/kismetpink They’re straight until I get them wet
Bonus by u/Shaded_Trees: They both go limp after being warmed up

What do you call a scared noodle?

Fettuccine Afraid-o!

Dear Lord, thank you for these noodles


I don’t care for much Chinese food, but when I see a big plate of egg noodles I go nuts

I’m kind of a Lo meiniac

Where do poor Italian noodle makers live?

In the Spaghetto.

How did the mayor of Chicago learn to cook noodles?

With the Ramen Manual

What do you call a superhero who's made out of instant noodles?


What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

Lol, sorry if it's corny. Pizza hut guy came and my delivery request was to tell a joke. Shout out to delivery dude!

Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?

Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband dies after consuming spaghetti..

Doc: It appears that your husband died from a pierced abdomen.

Wife: How is it possible? All he had was spaghetti.

Doc: After consuming spaghetti, he took some viagra. You know what that does to limp noodles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a fake sex addict and someone who uses fake names to get free noodles?

One's a pseudo-nymphomaniac, the other's a pseudonym-pho-maniac!

What’s a cannibal’s favorite kind of noodle?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year old kid spends his first day in prison.. [NSFW]

He ends up getting a bunk mate whose an older guy, and been inside for while. This older guy has access to lots of goodies such as oreos and cup of noodles etc.. In prison that is basically its own form of currency. The old man can tell the kid is scared and tells him
"I'll tell you what kid I'l...

Why was the pasta noodle kicked off of the subway?

They realized he was stroganoff

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The biggest instant noodle company in Japan just went out of business

People are calling it the Fall of the Ramen Empire

Don't eat royal sausage in Vietnamese noodle soup

Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst

How does an Asian noodle say goodbye

Chow main

Contest Emcee: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of Ramen Noodles!

Me: Can I just take the $20 instead?

Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.

We're calling it Send Noods

What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?

A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.

My girlfriend left me because of my love of noodles.

I'd best spaghetti on with my life

What’s the heaviest noodle in the world?

Wanton Noodles.

What do you call a noodle on a street corner?

A pasta-tute.

What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup?

The best PhoKing you'll ever know

Did you hear about the new Vietnamese noodle / southern BBQ fusion restaurant?

It's called Pho-Q

Mr. T set to open a new Vietnamese noodle shop...

To be called "I pity the Pho"

How do you end a prayer to the Noodle God?


What's the opposite of drunken noodles?

Soba noodles!

What do you call a hooker who likes noodles?

A Pastatute

I tried to teach my grandma how to eat noodles with chopsticks

She accidentally made a sweater.

Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba...

I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

Robin Williams, circa 1980

First cannibal complains, "I hate my mother-in-Law."

Second cannibal replies, "Ehh. Just eat the noodles."

Then there was the noodle who wanted all his life to be an M...

but when he finally got his wish, no one believed him cause he was an M pasta...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a woman who sells sex for noodles?

A Pasta-tute!

Are instant noodles male or female?

Male. Cause they get ready in a couple of minutes.

What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles?

Hey, pho queue, dude

Why did the noodle hide from the other noodles?

Because he was Alfredo pasta!

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