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Noodle Jokes

My sister bet me a thousand dollars that I could not build a car out of noodles.

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!

Dear Lord, thank you for these noodles

Ramen.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An ImPASTA !!!



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Bet you tell at least one person, that joke :P

How much does 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh?

Won Ton

A friend asked me how many types of noodles there are

I said the pastabilities are endless

What’s the opposite of drunken noodle?

Soba noodle

What do women & noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An Impasta !

My ex who cheated on me with 5 guys without condom used to love instant noodles.

Guess you could say she liked Raw'men

I just found out it’s considered rude in Vietnam to eat noodles with a fork, since it’s how American GIs ate their food.

It’s a pho pas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The patient goes to see a doctor: “I am pooping like noodles!”

“Like literally, my poop is shaped like noodles,” the patient says as he sits down in the consulting room.

Doc is dumbfounded. In all his years of training and practice, he hasn’t encountered a symptom like this. He thinks hard and prescribes some antibiotics, hoping they will solve the probl...

What do you call it when you accidentally put Vietnamese noodles in a coffee mug instead of a bowl?

A pho cup.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My last girlfriend loved japanese noodles very much

But we recently brokeup when I found out she cheated on me with 5 guys. No condoms.

I guess she really loves 'RawMen'.

What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel like it’s good enough?

Impasta syndrome!

What’s a noodle that only costs one cent?

Penne

Why are uncooked noodles a cannibal's favorite food?

Because they love rawmen.

Last night I had a dream I was eating noodles

But when I woke up I couldn't find my earphones

A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.

EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!

What do you call someone who steals noodles from the rich and gives them to the poor?

Ramen Hood

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I’m going to open a Japanese Noodle restaurant as an Italian man in a Muslim community.

The Ramen Don

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one of grandpa's old classics

It's easier to shove a wet noodle up a wild cats ass in a telephone booth than it is to mess with me

Why are Chinese noodles so easy to love?

Because they are 'Lo Mein-tenance'!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Noodle and Meat Bun were best friends.

But one day they got into a disagreement and had a fight. Noodle isnt very strong but he managed to beat up Meat Bun.

Meat Bun wasnt going to take this insult without revenge, so he went off to get some brothers, Pan Fried Bun, and Steamed Pork Bun. Together, the angry mob roamed the streets ...

What do you call a noodle hotel?

The Ram Inn

What do you get when you add pool noodles to a hot tub?

Spa-ghetti

Did you hear about the accident at the milk noodle factory?

One of the workers fell into the machinery and they weren't able to stop it in time. He's unfortunately pasta whey.

What do noodles say when they finish praying?

Ramen

A semi truck full of Ramen noodle caught fire today and the whole shipment was considered ruined

The total loss came out to be $73

I was boiling some noodles until the pot suddenly began to float.

Needless to say, it was soup rising.

A brother hits his sister in the eye with a pool noodle.

It was an accident but the girl gets a really nasty black eye. So the next day the girl gets to tell to all her friends about it and blames the brother. The brother doesn’t like the unwarranted attention.

He goes to his father and tells him he doesn’t like his sister telling everyone he hit ...

Two guys always order the noodle soup at “Kyoto soup restaurant”

Two guys always order the noodle soup at “Kyoto soup restaurant”. Every time they order the soup the same person always serves them.
“Hey ching chong hurry up will you” the first man always says. ...

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Travelling salesman

There was a travelling salesmen who had the job since he was he was seventeen so was constantly on the road, and had only ever slept with prostitutes his whole life. Due to this fact he had never went down on a woman for fear of where they might have been, although it was something he always desired...

What is a noodle's favorite bicycle race?

The Tour de Lini

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What did the Japanese chef ask to his boiling noodles?

Udon yet?

Blonde Orders Hot and Spicy Soup

Blonde walks into a restaurant and tells the waiter he wants to order a spicy chicken noodle soup. Minutes later the waiter returns with hot and spicy chicken soup. Blonde sips the soup and quivers complaining the soup is way too hot and spicy and wanted to return it. The waiter takes the soup bac...

Two cannibals are lunching.

One of them says: "I don't like my mother-in-law."
The other one: "Then just have the noodles."

What’s the WiFi password at a Vietnamese noodle shop?

123pho5

What do call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Sorry, just wanted to copypasta.

What do you call a noodle without any sauce?

A noodist

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Masturbating is a lot like ramen noodles

When you chose to do it, it’s fantastic. When you HAVE to do it, it sucks.

Two cannibals are eating dinner. One says to the other "I hate my mother in law"

The other cannibal replies "Well, then just eat the noodles"

Me: I reckon if we got a dog we should call it Noodles.

Wife: That's silly, we eat noodles.

Me: If this recession gets bad enough, yes, we would.

What’s a cannibal’s favorite kind of noodle?

Rawmen

I saw someone eating noodles with some chicken on it.

It was the best hen thai I've ever seen.

What did one stoner noodle say to the other?

Pasta blunt homie.

A Vietnamese restaurant is offering herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup.

Thyme fries when you’re having pho.

What do you call the place where bad noodles live?

The Spaghetto

What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?

Forgetti


I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.

I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a ...

Threw out a noodle I found in a packet of spaghetti.

It was the impasta.

What do you give an abusive pasta chef who always serves wet noodles?

A re-straining order.

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

Bonus: by u/kismetpink They’re straight until I get them wet
Bonus by u/Shaded_Trees: They both go limp after being warmed up

My dream is to create a bioengineering startup that solves world hunger by developing a self-replicating noodle

Laugh now, but one day you're going to see my Copy Pasta everywhere.

What does a noodle say if they see a noodle being very slow?

COME ON BRO!!!
PASTA!!! PASTA!!!

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What's the difference between a fake sex addict and someone who uses fake names to get free noodles?

One's a pseudo-nymphomaniac, the other's a pseudonym-pho-maniac!

Where do poor Italian noodle makers live?

In the Spaghetto.

Why was the pasta noodle kicked off of the subway?

They realized he was stroganoff

What do you call a scared noodle?

Fettuccine Afraid-o!

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What do you call a fake noodle

An Impasta!!!
Sorry lol

Edit- getting lots of downvotes. I get it, it's a stupid joke but i'm just trying make people laugh. Maybe even chuckle a little bit:) hope everyone is having a good day and if your day was shitty I hope it gets better:)

My friend promised he would hide a key to my cell in the noodles of my final meal.

When the guard went away I looked but there was gnocchi.

Who ate all the noodles in ancient egypt?

King Tootin'ramen

What do noodles call the shady part of town?

The Spaghetto.

What do German poodles and Chinese noodles haves in common?

They have oodles in common!

What psychosis do you have, if all you can think about is Chinese noodles?

Mega-Lo-Mein-ia

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

Lol, sorry if it's corny. Pizza hut guy came and my delivery request was to tell a joke. Shout out to delivery dude!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The biggest instant noodle company in Japan just went out of business

People are calling it the Fall of the Ramen Empire

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a girl in front of me at the checkout, she had one apple, one pear, one toothbrush, one cup o noodle, and one can of soup.

I leaned over and said, "You're single arent you.."

She says, "Yes, but how did you know?"

I said, "Because you're ugly as fuck!"

Don't eat royal sausage in Vietnamese noodle soup

Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst

What's a Jamaicans favorite noodle?

Raaahmon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?

A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.

How does an Asian noodle say goodbye

Chow main

What does a Spanish person call spilled noodles?

A derramen.

A famous Vietnamese chef named Quan Si Ho was opening a restaurant, but couldn’t decide what to name it.

His brother Bao Ho told him: “It’s trendy to name restaurants after their best dish and the name of the chef.”

“Oh really?” said Quan.

“Yeah,” Bao said. “Like LB Steak, or Pizza Angelo. You could call yours ‘Ho Noodles’ or ‘Soup by Quan Si.’”

“That’s it!” said Quan. “I’ve thoug...

What’s the heaviest noodle in the world?

Wanton Noodles.

Did you hear about the new Vietnamese noodle / southern BBQ fusion restaurant?

It's called Pho-Q

What do you call a thick noodle?

An impasta.





(Don't know if this has already been posted on here so...)

I went to the Chinese for a take away last night, I ordered chicken chow mein, egg fried rice and Singapore crispy noodles. The bloke tipped it all loose in to a carrier bag. I said what the hell are you doing?

He said we're not allowed to put Chinese in a container anymore.

Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?

Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way.

Loving noodles is almost as if you are religious

Can I get a ramen?

I like my girl like my noodles...

wiggly when I eat them

hot and ready in 2 mins

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