What do girls and noodles have in common?


They both wiggle when you eat them.

A Vietnamese restaurant is offering herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup.

Thyme fries when you’re having pho.

If fresh noodles are noodles, what are expired noodles called?


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What did the Japanese chef ask to his boiling noodles?

Udon yet?

What did an impatient pot of water say to the noodles?


What do you call the place where bad noodles live?

The Spaghetto

What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?


I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.

I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a ...

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Timmy and his noodle

One day my son, Timmy, came home from school asking,

"What's the dangly thing between my legs called?"

I responded, "That's called a penis also referred to as a dick, peepee, or noodle."

The next day Timmy was taking a test at school and was stuck on a question on a test. He ca...

A brother hits his sister in the eye with a pool noodle.

It was an accident but the girl gets a really nasty black eye. So the next day the girl gets to tell to all her friends about it and blames the brother. The brother doesn’t like the unwarranted attention.

He goes to his father and tells him he doesn’t like his sister telling everyone he hit ...

What do you call a fake noodle?

An ImPASTA !!!


Bet you tell at least one person, that joke :P

What do German poodles and Chinese noodles haves in common?

They have oodles in common!

My ex girlfriend used to call me noodles

Because I only lasted 2 minutes.

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Masturbating is a lot like ramen noodles

When you chose to do it, it’s fantastic. When you HAVE to do it, it sucks.

Last night i had a dream i was eating noodles

But when i woke up i couldnt find my earphones.

What's a Jamaicans favorite noodle?


What do noodles call the shady part of town?

The Spaghetto.

What’s the WiFi password at a Vietnamese noodle shop?


What do you call a fake noodle ?

An Impasta

*badum tiss*

I like my girl like my noodles...

wiggly when I eat them

hot and ready in 2 mins

I went to the Chinese for a take away last night, I ordered chicken chow mein, egg fried rice and Singapore crispy noodles. The bloke tipped it all loose in to a carrier bag. I said what the hell are you doing?

He said we're not allowed to put Chinese in a container anymore.

What are the mafia's most favorite noodles?

Pasta asciutta.

Loving noodles is almost as if you are religious

Can I get a ramen?

What do call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Sorry, just wanted to copypasta.

I know this terrible joke about noodles...

It’s the pho-king worst.

What psychosis do you have, if all you can think about is Chinese noodles?


What does a noodle say if they see a noodle being very slow?


Dear Lord, thank you for these noodles


Today I learned the history of the word noodles

Back in ancient Asian territory, they created a food product. They chose to trade it with the Western world. When asked what they called this food, they realised they didn't have a name for it yet. It was a great food that always ended with empty bowls, so they decided to take the English words 'nau...

How much do Chinese noodles weigh?


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What do you call a fake noodle

An Impasta!!!
Sorry lol

Edit- getting lots of downvotes. I get it, it's a stupid joke but i'm just trying make people laugh. Maybe even chuckle a little bit:) hope everyone is having a good day and if your day was shitty I hope it gets better:)

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

Bonus: by u/kismetpink They’re straight until I get them wet
Bonus by u/Shaded_Trees: They both go limp after being warmed up

What did one stoner noodle say to the other?

Pasta blunt homie.

My dream is to create a bioengineering startup that solves world hunger by developing a self-replicating noodle

Laugh now, but one day you're going to see my Copy Pasta everywhere.

Where do poor Italian noodle makers live?

In the Spaghetto.

Robin Williams, circa 1980

First cannibal complains, "I hate my mother-in-Law."

Second cannibal replies, "Ehh. Just eat the noodles."

What do you call a scared noodle?

Fettuccine Afraid-o!

What do you call a superhero who's made out of instant noodles?


What's the difference between Anthony Mundine and two minute noodles? [OC]

About 25 seconds.

How did the mayor of Chicago learn to cook noodles?

With the Ramen Manual

I don’t care for much Chinese food, but when I see a big plate of egg noodles I go nuts

I’m kind of a Lo meiniac

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What's the difference between a fake sex addict and someone who uses fake names to get free noodles?

One's a pseudo-nymphomaniac, the other's a pseudonym-pho-maniac!

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

Lol, sorry if it's corny. Pizza hut guy came and my delivery request was to tell a joke. Shout out to delivery dude!

What’s a cannibal’s favorite kind of noodle?


Why was the pasta noodle kicked off of the subway?

They realized he was stroganoff

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The biggest instant noodle company in Japan just went out of business

People are calling it the Fall of the Ramen Empire

Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.

We're calling it Send Noods

Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?

Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way.

Contest Emcee: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of Ramen Noodles!

Me: Can I just take the $20 instead?

What’s the heaviest noodle in the world?

Wanton Noodles.

What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?

A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.

What do you call a noodle on a street corner?

A pasta-tute.

My girlfriend left me because of my love of noodles.

I'd best spaghetti on with my life

Mr. T set to open a new Vietnamese noodle shop...

To be called "I pity the Pho"

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What thing gets in hard and gets out flaccid?

Was gonna say noodles- But in fact it's a penis.

Don't eat royal sausage in Vietnamese noodle soup

Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst

[OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish.

He calls it faux-pho-phobia.

What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup?

The best PhoKing you'll ever know

If the world followed Facebook trends

The plumber would come with noodles instead of tools

Did you hear about the new Vietnamese noodle / southern BBQ fusion restaurant?

It's called Pho-Q

Shouldn't we call cup ramen noodles "sodium bowls" now?


How does an Asian noodle say goodbye

Chow main

How do you end a prayer to the Noodle God?


(NSFW) What's the difference between jelly and jam?

You can't jelly your noodle down your s/o throat

What do you call a hooker who likes noodles?

A Pastatute

What's the opposite of drunken noodles?

Soba noodles!

Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba...

I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

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A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

I tried to teach my grandma how to eat noodles with chopsticks

She accidentally made a sweater.

Then there was the noodle who wanted all his life to be an M...

but when he finally got his wish, no one believed him cause he was an M pasta...

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What do you call a woman who sells sex for noodles?

A Pasta-tute!

What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles?

Hey, pho queue, dude

Why did the noodle hide from the other noodles?

Because he was Alfredo pasta!

What do you call a Muslim ganglord with a penchant for Noodles?


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