What do girls and noodles have in common?

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They both wiggle when you eat them.

What do you call the place where bad noodles live?

The Spaghetto

What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?

Forgetti


I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.

I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a ...

How do noodles end their prayers?

Ramen.

A Vietnamese restaurant is offering herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup.

Thyme fries when you’re having pho.

What do call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Sorry, just wanted to copypasta.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the Japanese chef ask to his boiling noodles?

Udon yet?

What do noodles call the shady part of town?

The Spaghetto.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a fake noodle

An Impasta!!!
Sorry lol

Edit- getting lots of downvotes. I get it, it's a stupid joke but i'm just trying make people laugh. Maybe even chuckle a little bit:) hope everyone is having a good day and if your day was shitty I hope it gets better:)

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta

I like my girl like my noodles...

wiggly when I eat them

hot and ready in 2 mins

What’s the WiFi password at a Vietnamese noodle shop?

123pho5

Today I learned the history of the word noodles

Back in ancient Asian territory, they created a food product. They chose to trade it with the Western world. When asked what they called this food, they realised they didn't have a name for it yet. It was a great food that always ended with empty bowls, so they decided to take the English words 'nau...

What's the difference between Anthony Mundine and two minute noodles? [OC]

About 25 seconds.

My mother has an unhealthy fear of noodles.

It all started 5 years ago. I came home to find my mother covered in blood and in shock at the discovery of my father. He had been stabbed multiple times in a garish display akin only to the Manson and Zodiac killings. The police report determined the suspect was between 8-16 inches, slightly boiled...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Timmy and his noodle

One day my son, Timmy, came home from school asking,

"What's the dangly thing between my legs called?"

I responded, "That's called a penis also referred to as a dick, peepee, or noodle."

The next day Timmy was taking a test at school and was stuck on a question on a test. He ca...

How much do Chinese noodles weigh?

Wonton.

My dream is to create a bioengineering startup that solves world hunger by developing a self-replicating noodle

Laugh now, but one day you're going to see my Copy Pasta everywhere.

What did one stoner noodle say to the other?

Pasta blunt homie.

Dear Lord, thank you for these noodles

Ramen.

What do you call noodles cooked with roofies?

Forgetti Spaghetti

I know this terrible joke about noodles...

It’s the pho-king worst.

I don’t care for much Chinese food, but when I see a big plate of egg noodles I go nuts

I’m kind of a Lo meiniac

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

Bonus: by u/kismetpink They’re straight until I get them wet
Bonus by u/Shaded_Trees: They both go limp after being warmed up

What do you call a scared noodle?

Fettuccine Afraid-o!

Where do poor Italian noodle makers live?

In the Spaghetto.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

Lol, sorry if it's corny. Pizza hut guy came and my delivery request was to tell a joke. Shout out to delivery dude!

What do you call a superhero who's made out of instant noodles?

Ra-man.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How do you spell Japanese noodle?

U don'

Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?

Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way.

What’s the heaviest noodle in the world?

Wanton Noodles.

I like my women like I like my ramen noodles

Hot, cheap, and Asian

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a fake sex addict and someone who uses fake names to get free noodles?

One's a pseudo-nymphomaniac, the other's a pseudonym-pho-maniac!

What’s a cannibal’s favorite kind of noodle?

Rawmen

How does an Asian noodle say goodbye

Chow main

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The biggest instant noodle company in Japan just went out of business

People are calling it the Fall of the Ramen Empire

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An 18 year old kid spends his first day in prison.. [NSFW]

He ends up getting a bunk mate whose an older guy, and been inside for while. This older guy has access to lots of goodies such as oreos and cup of noodles etc.. In prison that is basically its own form of currency. The old man can tell the kid is scared and tells him
"I'll tell you what kid I'l...

Why was the pasta noodle kicked off of the subway?

They realized he was stroganoff

I lived off pot noodles and canned soup for two years.

Now I miss that level of luxury.

[OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish.

He calls it faux-pho-phobia.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A husband dies after consuming spaghetti..

Doc: It appears that your husband died from a pierced abdomen.

Wife: How is it possible? All he had was spaghetti.

Doc: After consuming spaghetti, he took some viagra. You know what that does to limp noodles.

Mr. T set to open a new Vietnamese noodle shop...

To be called "I pity the Pho"

Contest Emcee: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of Ramen Noodles!

Me: Can I just take the $20 instead?

What do you call a noodle on a street corner?

A pasta-tute.

Don't eat royal sausage in Vietnamese noodle soup

Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst

What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup?

The best PhoKing you'll ever know

What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?

A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.

Did you hear about the new Vietnamese noodle / southern BBQ fusion restaurant?

It's called Pho-Q

Shouldn't we call cup ramen noodles "sodium bowls" now?

Na...

My girlfriend left me because of my love of noodles.

I'd best spaghetti on with my life

Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.

We're calling it Send Noods

What font does a beef noodle stall use?

Times Niurou Mian

(Niurou Mian = beef noodles in Chinese)

How do you end a prayer to the Noodle God?

Ramen.

Then there was the noodle who wanted all his life to be an M...

but when he finally got his wish, no one believed him cause he was an M pasta...

What's the opposite of drunken noodles?

Soba noodles!

I tried to teach my grandma how to eat noodles with chopsticks

She accidentally made a sweater.

Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba...

I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

A woman is at a café orders the soup de jour, which happens to be alphabet soup that day. But when it arrives it just has ordinary noodles...

She says to the waiter, "Hey, I thought this was supposed to be alphabet soup."


The waiter replies, "It's in *cursive* ma'am."

What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles?

Hey, pho queue, dude

What do you call a hooker who likes noodles?

A Pastatute

Why did the noodle hide from the other noodles?

Because he was Alfredo pasta!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A trucker orders a bowl of chicken noodle soup...

The waitress brings it sets it on the table. He starts eating the soup and finds a hair in it. He screams at the waitress, "There is a fuckin' hair in my soup and I'm not paying for it!". He stomped out and didn't pay. The waitress saw him cross the street and go in to the whore house where she on...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a woman who sells sex for noodles?

A Pasta-tute!

Are instant noodles male or female?

Male. Cause they get ready in a couple of minutes.

What do you call a Muslim ganglord with a penchant for Noodles?

Ramendon

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man finds a hair in his chicken noodle soup...NSFW

He tells his waitress "fuck you" and leaves without paying. The waitress watches him leave and go across the street to a hotel.

After her shift, she goes to the hotel and explains the situation to the agent at the front desk. The agent is sympathetic and tells her the man's room number.
<...

I ordered a bowl of spaghetti and found a linguine noodle at the bottom

he was an impasta