What do zombies that like cereal say?

GRAAAIIIINNNNSSSS

Fruit Loops is putting marshmallows in their cereal like Lucky Charms

I guess Toucan play that game

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was the Nazis’ favorite cereal

Reich Krispies.

What is Gepetto's favorite cereal?

I know you think it's Pinnochi-o's, but it's actually Cheerios. They're whittle o's. Though I guess both woodwork.

When I was younger, I thought I was clever by coming up with a joke: What is a British person's favourite cereal?

Cheerios!

I told this to joke to a British person.

They were a little tea'd off.

I got banned from /r/Jokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

What brand of cereal is the strongest??

Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy comes down to breakfast

Since they live on a farm, his mother asks him if he has done his chores. "Not yet." says the little boy. Mother tells him he can't have breakfast until the chores are done. Well the boy is a little pissed as he gets up to do the chores.

When he goes back to the table all there is a bowl of ...

What is the number 2 cereal on Asgard?

Loki Charms

Obi Wan Kenobi decides he wants a change of pace so decides to put his skills into becoming a marriage councillor.

One day a familiar face pops in, Luke Skywalker. Luke sits down an immediately bursts into tears as his new wife is absolutely awful. For three hours Luke talks, almost non stop, about all the horrible things she does to him - putting green milk in his cereal, signing him up to the Jar-Jar fanclub, ...

A woman on a farm is getting breakfast ready for her family.

As she works at the counter, she notices her son out in the yard bullying several of the animals. When he comes in for breakfast she sets a bowl if dry cereal and a glass of water in front of him.

"What gives mom?"

"Well son, I watched you picking on the animals, so I'm punishing you a...

Why can’t the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal for breakfast?

They choke when they get too close to a bowl.

My boss at the cereal factory pulled me into his office...

“I like your recipes son, but I think we should make some changes.”

“Ok”, I said, “Like What?”

“Well, first I’d like to dip it in sucrose. Then, I’d like to dust it with dextrose -“

“Stop right there”, I said. “No need to sugar coat it.”

Just went to the store and bought milk, cereal, juice and ice cream.

Cashier: “You must be single, right?”

Me: “Yes! How did you know?”

Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”

I'm so poor

that I'm eating cereal with a fork to save on milk

I read that Snap, Crackle and Pop were found murdered along with Captain Crunch and Tony the Tiger

Authorities suspect it's the work of a cereal killer.

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite Peter Pan themed cereal?

Roofie-Os

What kind of cereal does a school shooter eat?

Pumped Up Kix

Never pour cereal down the loo.

It Kellogg's up your toilet.

What does German cereal say when it sees the milk in the morning?

Gluten-tag

What's Chris Brown's favorite cereal?

Honey Smacks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cereals

A 3 year old and a 5 year old play in their bedroom when their mother calls "Boys, time for breakfast!" and the 5 year old says "You know what? I think we're old enough to swear", the 3 year old nods his head. "I'll swear first and then you" the boy nods again. They come down and sit at the table, m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which is the number 1 cereal brand in Asgard?

Bifrosties

*holy shit almost crapped my pants with excitement when I came up with this. GF not as excited, I'm counting on you guys

Kelloggs once had a cereal called 'Snatch'

You open it up, dump out the cereal and eat the box.

What's Nintendo's favorite cereal?

Mari-O's

A small chunk of cereal made its way to his best friend

"I'm going to get married!" said the cereal

"Whoa, thats cool!" said his friend, "But I gotta warn you... its hard for cereal to maintain their marriage."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it seems like you've got this in the bag, but it always, my dear friend, always breaks down."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marketing: lets create a fun and exciting cereal

**Executive:** okay... go on.

**Marketing:** it’ll have cool colors and fruity flavors...

**Executive:** omg yes

**Marketing:** and rabbits can fuck right off if they think they can have some!

Dr Ian Malcolm isn't sure how to fit his favorite cereal in the grocery cart

But Life finds a way

What breakfast cereal do they serve at the Swiss clinic, Dignitas?

Cheerios!

What kind of murderer has moral fiber?

A cereal killer.

I should've known better than to sign a contract that was written on the side of a cereal box.

Turns out the thing was filled with loopholes

What's Hodor's favorite breakfast cereal?

Raisin Bran.

My kids love Life cereal. I told them there's a grown-up version called That's Just Life

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?

It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.

Eating cereals for dinner.

It's the breakfast of tomorrow, today!

Why is cereal Thanos’s favorite food?

Because it’s part of a balanced breakfast!

My coach told me to bring out the tiger in me during our football game.

I didn't want to waste any of my favorite frosted flakes cereal.

What do you call someone who touches cereal inappropriately?

A chex offender

People get so heated up about if the milk comes first in tea or cereal

Personally i prefer to put the tea in first, then the milk, then the cereal.

What do you call a group of cereal boxes that never keep their word?

Corn flakes

A mother comes down to the kitchen and finds her daughter up early, eating a bowl of cereal...

The daughter asks- “Mommy, I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom a little while ago. What were you and Daddy doing in there?”

The mother is instantly embarrassed.

“Um... your daddy and I were making a cake, sweetheart.”

The next morning the mom comes down and t...

What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

Opens box of cereal...

We’ve updated our Privacy Policy.

My wife said that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with breakfast cereals.

I said, “Ok. Cheerios then.”

What is the night king’s favourite cereal

All-bran

Why didn't the snowman eat his cereal?

Because he was already feeling a little flaky.

What does cereal say when it leaves the room?

Cheerio

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Tommy lived on a farm,

He woke up one morning and went downstairs for breakfast. Little Tommy's mom said "no, you have to do your chores to get breakfast!"

Little Tommy stormed out of the house an went to feed the chickens and kicked one on the way out. He tromped over to the pigs and kicked one of them as he fill...

What do you call a cereal box full of snakes?

Honey Bunches of nopes

Did you hear about the new breakfast cereal, Prostituties?

It doesn't go Snap, Crackle, Pop. It just lays there and Bangs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up

A man wakes up in a dimly lit room with three doors. On each door, there is a picture of a different type of food. The first door has a picture of eggs, second has a picture of cereal and the third has a picture of beans.

The man decides to try the first door, so he opens it. Behind it is a ...

My brother just ran into the kitchen and stepped on all our Cheerios!

He’s a cereal killer

Saw a man at the supermarket today who was saying the most nasty things while walking up and down the aisle, picking different kinds of breakfast-food off the shelves, shouting at the boxes and putting them back again. I asked the manager what his problem was.

Turns out the guy's a cereal offender.

With all the attention on preparing unusual foods in the smoker (hikory smoked mustard, maple smoked ice cream, etc.) I thought up a great idea for a smoked breakfast cereal.

We'll call them "Mesquite O's" the cereal with a bite! They'll leave you itching for more!

Do you think we can stir up some buzz about it?

There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal.

We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!

: As told by my 5 year old.

What do cannibals drink with their breakfast cereal?

A cup of Joe.

My mom was trying to convince me to eat some cereal yesterday

I told her, “No mom, I’m done with life.”

I was preparing a bowl of cereal, finished 1 box of raisin bran and started another to fill my bowl. I was alarmed to see a different colored cereal;

Then I realized, they were different brans



this is a tru experience that just happened to me

Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork?

Cos there is no spoon

What’s a band conductor’s favorite cereal?

Flute loops.

Arrested

Went into a store the other day and got caught stabbing boxes in the breakfast food aisle . The charge? Cereal killer.

What do you call a racist cereal?

Special KKK

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

So Mike Tyson dies and becomes a ghost. What is his favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

Ethereal

(A cereal)



I'm proud of this joke

What’s the most popular breakfast cereal in Saudi Arabia?

Fruties Pebbled

California is like a box of cereal...

When you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all that's left are the flakes.

What type of cereal goes to the gym twice a day?

Shredded wheat.

I wish I could pin this joke on a 4-year-old, I'm so sorry

What do you call an online game about cereal?

Cheer.io

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. Bu...

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

I opened a pack of cereal and snorted it

I got high on Life

Life cereal uses false advertising...

I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

gluten free cereal.

I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it "NO FUCKING WHEY!"

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

I hate cereal killers

they go against the grain

If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called?

OV O's!

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long.

He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in t...

I'd rather buy a box of cereal than an iPhone 7

Because you can have apples with jacks

They found a woman dead face down in a bathtub full of cornflakes.

They think it’s the work of a cereal killer.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.