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Which is the number 1 cereal brand in Asgard?

Bifrosties

*holy shit almost crapped my pants with excitement when I came up with this. GF not as excited, I'm counting on you guys

Why can’t the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal for breakfast?

They choke when they get too close to a bowl.

A small chunk of cereal made its way to his best friend

"I'm going to get married!" said the cereal

"Whoa, thats cool!" said his friend, "But I gotta warn you... its hard for cereal to maintain their marriage."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it seems like you've got this in the bag, but it always, my dear friend, always breaks down."

How does Reese eat her cereal?

Witherspoon

What brand of cereal is the strongest??

Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.

What does German cereal say when it sees the milk in the morning?

Gluten-tag

What breakfast cereal do they serve at the Swiss clinic, Dignitas?

Cheerios!

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite Peter Pan themed cereal?

Roofie-Os

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Marketing: lets create a fun and exciting cereal

**Executive:** okay... go on.

**Marketing:** it’ll have cool colors and fruity flavors...

**Executive:** omg yes

**Marketing:** and rabbits can fuck right off if they think they can have some!

Why is cereal Thanos’s favorite food?

Because it’s part of a balanced breakfast!

Dr Ian Malcolm isn't sure how to fit his favorite cereal in the grocery cart

But Life finds a way

Never pour cereal down the loo.

It Kellogg's up your toilet.

What's Hodor's favorite breakfast cereal?

Raisin Bran.

So Mike Tyson dies and becomes a ghost. What is his favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

Ethereal

(A cereal)



I'm proud of this joke

Eating cereals for dinner.

It's the breakfast of tomorrow, today!

What do you call a person who kills cereal?

Mentally ill.

What do you call someone who touches cereal inappropriately?

A chex offender

What kind of murderer has moral fibre?

A cereal killer.

I should've known better than to sign a contract that was written on the side of a cereal box.

Turns out the thing was filled with loopholes

What is a chiropractor's favorite cereal?

Rice Krispies (Snap, Crackle and Pop)

My kids love Life cereal. I told them there's a grown-up version called That's Just Life

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

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Cereals

A 3 year old and a 5 year old play in their bedroom when their mother calls "Boys, time for breakfast!" and the 5 year old says "You know what? I think we're old enough to swear", the 3 year old nods his head. "I'll swear first and then you" the boy nods again. They come down and sit at the table, m...

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, a pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks.

His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you."

Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicks the cat.

The boy says "Will you tell him, or should I ?"

People get so heated up about if the milk comes first in tea or cereal

Personally i prefer to put the tea in first, then the milk, then the cereal.

I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long.

He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in t...

Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?

It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.

What's Chris Brown's favorite cereal?

Honey Smacks

What is the night king’s favourite cereal

All-bran

Preparations for parenthood - dressing and feeding.

New parents: feeding and dressing your toddler is not as easy a skill as it looks. It takes a lot of practice, so here are a couple tips to get you started.

To practice dressing a small child, first you need to get a string bag (like the kind you carry soccer balls). Then go to ...

I heard that life made a new lemon cream flavored cereal

When life gives you lemons.

Did you hear about the new breakfast cereal, Prostituties?

It doesn't go Snap, Crackle, Pop. It just lays there and Bangs.

Why didn't the snowman eat his cereal?

Because he was already feeling a little flaky.

What do you call a group of cereal boxes that never keep their word?

Corn flakes

What does cereal say when it leaves the room?

Cheerio

Opens box of cereal...

We’ve updated our Privacy Policy.

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Johnny

Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said Little Johnny. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to...

What’s the most popular breakfast cereal in Saudi Arabia?

Fruties Pebbled

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

My wife said that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with breakfast cereals.

I said, “Ok. Cheerios then.”

What do you call a cereal box full of snakes?

Honey Bunches of nopes

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What do you call someone who dips their dick in a bowl of Cheerios?

A cereal rapist

What do cannibals drink with their breakfast cereal?

A cup of Joe.

There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal.

We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!

: As told by my 5 year old.

California is like a box of cereal...

When you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all that's left are the flakes.

A mother comes down to the kitchen and finds her daughter up early, eating a bowl of cereal...

The daughter asks- “Mommy, I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom a little while ago. What were you and Daddy doing in there?”

The mother is instantly embarrassed.

“Um... your daddy and I were making a cake, sweetheart.”

The next morning the mom comes down and t...

Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork?

Cos there is no spoon

What’s a band conductor’s favorite cereal?

Flute loops.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two brothers, a 6-year-old and a 5-year-old, decide that today is the day they will learn how to swear..

The 6-year-old says, "I'm gonna say the word 'damn,' " and the 5-year-old replies with glee, "I'll say the word 'ass,' " and they giggle and wait for their opportunity. Mother calls for them to come down for breakfast. They run downstairs, into the kitchen, and jump on the stools.

"What woul...

What kind of cereal does Ronda Rousey eat?

Kix

I was preparing a bowl of cereal, finished 1 box of raisin bran and started another to fill my bowl. I was alarmed to see a different colored cereal;

Then I realized, they were different brans



this is a tru experience that just happened to me

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you're are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. B...

With all the attention on preparing unusual foods in the smoker (hikory smoked mustard, maple smoked ice cream, etc.) I thought up a great idea for a smoked breakfast cereal.

We'll call them "Mesquite O's" the cereal with a bite! They'll leave you itching for more!

Do you think we can stir up some buzz about it?

What do you call a racist cereal?

Special KKK

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

What are Captain Crunch, Tony the Tiger and Dig 'Em most afraid of?

Cereal Killers

What do you call an online game about cereal?

Cheer.io

Saying Donald Trump is the same color as Kellogg's corn cereal is

flake news

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

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My next door neighbor was murdered.

Police found her facedown in a bath tub filled with milk. She had a spoon stuck in her ass.

They think it was a cereal killer.

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

If you eat two bowls of cereal and they taste the same, what flavor is the cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

I pee on the side of the bowl to make less noise.

My sister wasn't happy that I ruined her cereal.

What type of cereal goes to the gym twice a day?

Shredded wheat.

I wish I could pin this joke on a 4-year-old, I'm so sorry

Life cereal uses false advertising...

I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.

My dad keeps saying that's what she said.

Dad; (Putting cereal in his bowl)

Me: Can you please put it in my thing also?

Dad: That's what she said.

Me: Please stop daddy!

Dad: That's what she said.

Me: Please, I'm only ten!!!

Dad: That's what she said.

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

I hate cereal killers

they go against the grain

If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called?

OV O's!

What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast?

Apple Jacks

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gluten free cereal.

I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it "NO FUCKING WHEY!"

I saw someone at the grocery store who angrily stabbed a box of corn flakes, and the flakes went everywhere.

The person was arrested for being a cereal killer.

If you eat the prize from a cereal box..

does that make you a specially marked box?


source: soos says some words

Whats an ex-iphone user's favorite cereal?

Apple Jacks

What's an Android developer's favourite cereal?

Boot Loops

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