What is the number 2 cereal on Asgard?

Loki Charms

What brand of cereal is the strongest??

Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which is the number 1 cereal brand in Asgard?

Bifrosties

*holy shit almost crapped my pants with excitement when I came up with this. GF not as excited, I'm counting on you guys

A small chunk of cereal made its way to his best friend

"I'm going to get married!" said the cereal

"Whoa, thats cool!" said his friend, "But I gotta warn you... its hard for cereal to maintain their marriage."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it seems like you've got this in the bag, but it always, my dear friend, always breaks down."

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Marketing: lets create a fun and exciting cereal

**Executive:** okay... go on.

**Marketing:** it’ll have cool colors and fruity flavors...

**Executive:** omg yes

**Marketing:** and rabbits can fuck right off if they think they can have some!

Why can’t the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal for breakfast?

They choke when they get too close to a bowl.

Dr Ian Malcolm isn't sure how to fit his favorite cereal in the grocery cart

But Life finds a way

What breakfast cereal do they serve at the Swiss clinic, Dignitas?

Cheerios!

What do you call a person who kills cereal?

Mentally ill.

What's Hodor's favorite breakfast cereal?

Raisin Bran.

What does German cereal say when it sees the milk in the morning?

Gluten-tag

Eating cereals for dinner.

It's the breakfast of tomorrow, today!

Never pour cereal down the loo.

It Kellogg's up your toilet.

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Cereals

A 3 year old and a 5 year old play in their bedroom when their mother calls "Boys, time for breakfast!" and the 5 year old says "You know what? I think we're old enough to swear", the 3 year old nods his head. "I'll swear first and then you" the boy nods again. They come down and sit at the table, m...

What is a chiropractor's favorite cereal?

Rice Krispies (Snap, Crackle and Pop)

I should've known better than to sign a contract that was written on the side of a cereal box.

Turns out the thing was filled with loopholes

I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long.

He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in t...

What do you call someone who touches cereal inappropriately?

A chex offender

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Johnny

Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said Little Johnny. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to...

People get so heated up about if the milk comes first in tea or cereal

Personally i prefer to put the tea in first, then the milk, then the cereal.

My kids love Life cereal. I told them there's a grown-up version called That's Just Life

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

What's Chris Brown's favorite cereal?

Honey Smacks

Why does Thanos eat cereal?

Because it's part of a well balanced breakfast

Opens box of cereal...

We’ve updated our Privacy Policy.

What’s an ELA teacher’s favorite cereal?

Synonym toast crunch

What is the night king’s favourite cereal

All-bran

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

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What do you call someone who dips their dick in a bowl of Cheerios?

A cereal rapist

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Two brothers, a 6-year-old and a 5-year-old, decide that today is the day they will learn how to swear..

The 6-year-old says, "I'm gonna say the word 'damn,' " and the 5-year-old replies with glee, "I'll say the word 'ass,' " and they giggle and wait for their opportunity. Mother calls for them to come down for breakfast. They run downstairs, into the kitchen, and jump on the stools.

"What woul...

What does cereal say when it leaves the room?

Cheerio

Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?

It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.

Did you hear about the new breakfast cereal, Prostituties?

It doesn't go Snap, Crackle, Pop. It just lays there and Bangs.

What’s the most popular breakfast cereal in Saudi Arabia?

Fruties Pebbled

What do you call a group of cereal boxes that never keep their word?

Corn flakes

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My next door neighbor was murdered.

Police found her facedown in a bath tub filled with milk. She had a spoon stuck in her ass.

They think it was a cereal killer.

What do cannibals drink with their breakfast cereal?

A cup of Joe.

There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal.

We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!

: As told by my 5 year old.

What do you call a cereal box full of snakes?

Honey Bunches of nopes

My wife said that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with breakfast cereals.

I said, “Ok. Cheerios then.”

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you're are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. B...

What are Captain Crunch, Tony the Tiger and Dig 'Em most afraid of?

Cereal Killers

A mother comes down to the kitchen and finds her daughter up early, eating a bowl of cereal...

The daughter asks- “Mommy, I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom a little while ago. What were you and Daddy doing in there?”

The mother is instantly embarrassed.

“Um... your daddy and I were making a cake, sweetheart.”

The next morning the mom comes down and t...

Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork?

Cos there is no spoon

California is like a box of cereal...

When you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all that's left are the flakes.

What do you call a racist cereal?

Special KKK

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

I was preparing a bowl of cereal, finished 1 box of raisin bran and started another to fill my bowl. I was alarmed to see a different colored cereal;

Then I realized, they were different brans



this is a tru experience that just happened to me

What’s a band conductor’s favorite cereal?

Flute loops.

What kind of cereal does Ronda Rousey eat?

Kix

With all the attention on preparing unusual foods in the smoker (hikory smoked mustard, maple smoked ice cream, etc.) I thought up a great idea for a smoked breakfast cereal.

We'll call them "Mesquite O's" the cereal with a bite! They'll leave you itching for more!

Do you think we can stir up some buzz about it?

I pee on the side of the bowl to make less noise.

My sister wasn't happy that I ruined her cereal.

My dad keeps saying that's what she said.

Dad; (Putting cereal in his bowl)

Me: Can you please put it in my thing also?

Dad: That's what she said.

Me: Please stop daddy!

Dad: That's what she said.

Me: Please, I'm only ten!!!

Dad: That's what she said.

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

I opened a pack of cereal and snorted it

I got high on Life

What kinda murderer only kills in the mornings?

A cereal killer

What do you call an online game about cereal?

Cheer.io

What type of cereal goes to the gym twice a day?

Shredded wheat.

I wish I could pin this joke on a 4-year-old, I'm so sorry

Life cereal uses false advertising...

I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

gluten free cereal.

I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it "NO FUCKING WHEY!"

i just stepped on a cornflake

now, i'm officially a cereal killer

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

I heard about a man who used poisoned Cheerios to murder people

He was quite the cereal killer

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I was at the deli counter behind another dad and his son the other day.

I was at the deli counter behind another dad and his son the other day. He has his hands full - the kid was screaming for candy, cookies... all sorts of things. The dad kept saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, this won’t take long. Just chill out.”

He had another outburst in the cer...

I'd rather buy a box of cereal than an iPhone 7

Because you can have apples with jacks

I hate cereal killers

they go against the grain

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

Little Billy's mom took him to the grocery store.

In the middle of the cereal aisle little Billy yelled out "Mom I have to PEE!"

All the other women smirked and looked judgementally at Billy's mom as her face turned red as a tomato. She pulled her son close.

"Listen little Billy, I never want you to say that again. Next time you need ...

If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called?

OV O's!

A Spanish woman was married to an Arabic man when they discovered they were going to have identical twin boys.

After much discussion, it was decided that one should be named after his paternal grandfather Amal and the other after his maternal grandfather Juan.

Years go by ...

The boys and their mom are at the grocery store one day when the boys were about 6 yrs old. As the mom was looking at...

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Two guys riding the train together start talking.

GUY 1: Did you ever try and say something but the words come out all wrong.

GUY 2: Nah, not really what are you talking about?

GUY 1: For instance when is was buying tickets for the train the clerk had a fantastic set of knockers. I get up there and I asked for a picket to Titsburg....

What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast?

Apple Jacks

I've started the Captain Crunch diet

It's so simple. Eat the cereal... abraise the roof of your mouth into a pulp... Eat less because anything sharper than jello is excruciating.. lose weight. You're welcome.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Life

Did you hear the news about a dead woman’s body being found in the park yesterday?

She was discovered drowned in a bathtub full of milk with a banana up her butt.

Police said this is the work of a cereal killer.

If you eat the prize from a cereal box..

does that make you a specially marked box?


source: soos says some words

Whats an ex-iphone user's favorite cereal?

Apple Jacks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some crazy asshole cut me off while driving to work this morning.

I damned near spilt my cereal all over the book I was reading!

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