What do you call someone who puts milk before cereal?

A cereal killer

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, a pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks.

His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you."

Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicks the cat.

The boy says "Will you tell him, or should I ?"

My wife said that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with breakfast cereals.

I said, “Ok. Cheerios then.”

What's Chris Brown's favorite cereal?

Honey Smacks

Never pour cereal down the loo.

It Kellogg's up your toilet.

What does cereal say when it leaves the room?

Cheerio

There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal.

We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!

: As told by my 5 year old.

I was preparing a bowl of cereal, finished 1 box of raisin bran and started another to fill my bowl. I was alarmed to see a different colored cereal;

Then I realized, they were different brans

​

this is a tru experience that just happened to me

What do cannibals drink with their breakfast cereal?

A cup of Joe.

What’s a band conductor’s favorite cereal?

Flute loops.

Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?

It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.

*Opens box of cereal*

We've updated our privacy policy.

Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork?

Cos there is no spoon

What do you call a cereal box full of snakes?

Honey Bunches of nopes

Why did House Stark shut down the northernmost cereal factory in the Seven Kingdoms?

Cuz they were bad at Raisin’ Bran

With all the attention on preparing unusual foods in the smoker (hikory smoked mustard, maple smoked ice cream, etc.) I thought up a great idea for a smoked breakfast cereal.

We'll call them "Mesquite O's" the cereal with a bite! They'll leave you itching for more!

Do you think we can stir up some buzz about it?

A mother comes down to the kitchen and finds her daughter up early, eating a bowl of cereal...

The daughter asks- “Mommy, I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom a little while ago. What were you and Daddy doing in there?”

The mother is instantly embarrassed.

“Um... your daddy and I were making a cake, sweetheart.”

The next morning the mom comes down and t...

What does a vegan cowboy put in his cereal?

Y’ALLMOND MILK

California is like a box of cereal...

When you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all that's left are the flakes.

Why don't the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal?

Every time they get close to the bowl, they choke!

What is a fascist’s favorite breakfast cereal?

Mueslini.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Cereals

A 3 year old and a 5 year old play in their bedroom when their mother calls "Boys, time for breakfast!" and the 5 year old says "You know what? I think we're old enough to swear", the 3 year old nods his head. "I'll swear first and then you" the boy nods again. They come down and sit at the table, m...

If you eat two bowls of cereal and they taste the same, what flavor is the cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

What do you call an online game about cereal?

Cheer.io

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

What kind of cereal does Ronda Rousey eat?

Kix

What do you call a racist cereal?

Special KKK

What type of cereal goes to the gym twice a day?

Shredded wheat.

I wish I could pin this joke on a 4-year-old, I'm so sorry

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

Life cereal uses false advertising...

I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.

I enjoy cereal so much..

I enjoy cereal so much that I started incorporating it into other aspects of my life. For example, I don't get blue balls, I get Grape-Nuts.

How did Reese die while eating cereal?

Witherspoon

I'd rather buy a box of cereal than an iPhone 7

Because you can have apples with jacks

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

gluten free cereal.

I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it "NO FUCKING WHEY!"

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

I hate cereal killers

they go against the grain

Whats an ex-iphone user's favorite cereal?

Apple Jacks

What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast?

Apple Jacks

What's an Android developer's favourite cereal?

Boot Loops

If you eat the prize from a cereal box..

does that make you a specially marked box?


source: soos says some words

A Spanish woman was married to an Arabic man when they discovered they were going to have identical twin boys.

After much discussion, it was decided that one should be named after his paternal grandfather Amal and the other after his maternal grandfather Juan.

Years go by ...

The boys and their mom are at the grocery store one day when the boys were about 6 yrs old. As the mom was looking at...

Daily Dose o’ jokes

I found my friend in a cereal box. He’s a fruit loop, if you get what 8 mean.

If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called?

OV O's!

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

So there's a box of cheerios...

Inside the box of cereal, it's like a cereal city, and there are three layers:

1. The top layer - this is the best place for the cheerios to live. All the best houses, the best cars, the best restaurants, etc, are in this part of the box. The ritziest cheerios live here, and everything is ex...

Did you hear about the guy whose bank closed his account because he dropped his bowl of cereal?

All his Chex bounced.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Cereal Anyone?

Two young brothers are talking. The older brother says, "You know what younger brother? I'm tired of being treated like a kid, so I'm going to take up swearing. The first thing tomorrow I'm going to say 'hell'."

The younger brother always goes along with his older sibling and does not li...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was at the deli counter behind another dad and his son the other day.

I was at the deli counter behind another dad and his son the other day. He has his hands full - the kid was screaming for candy, cookies... all sorts of things. The dad kept saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, this won’t take long. Just chill out.”

He had another outburst in the cer...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. Bu...

What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?

The one percent

What's an English teacher's favourite cereal?

Synonym Grahams

I'm really sick of the "ebola cereal" joke...

I'm pretty sure that's the last thing you'll find in Africa.

Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

The fat one brought cereal.

What's a white supremacist's favorite cereal?

Special KKK.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Breakfast with little Johnny

Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said Little Johnny.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.
<...

What type of criminal doesn't like breakfast?

A cereal killer.

A man drowned in his cereal...

...he was pulled in by a strong currant!