What do zombies that like cereal say?

GRAAAIIIINNNNSSSS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was the Nazis’ favorite cereal

Reich Krispies.

When I was younger, I thought I was clever by coming up with a joke: What is a British person's favourite cereal?

Cheerios!

I told this to joke to a British person.

They were a little tea'd off.

What does Wallace Shawn eat his cereal out of?

An inconceiva-bowl.

What brand of cereal is the strongest??

Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.

I got banned from /r/Jokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

Why can’t the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal for breakfast?

They choke when they get too close to a bowl.

My boss at the cereal factory pulled me into his office...

“I like your recipes son, but I think we should make some changes.”

“Ok”, I said, “Like What?”

“Well, first I’d like to dip it in sucrose. Then, I’d like to dust it with dextrose -“

“Stop right there”, I said. “No need to sugar coat it.”

A woman on a farm is getting breakfast ready for her family.

As she works at the counter, she notices her son out in the yard bullying several of the animals. When he comes in for breakfast she sets a bowl if dry cereal and a glass of water in front of him.

"What gives mom?"

"Well son, I watched you picking on the animals, so I'm punishing you a...

What does German cereal say when it sees the milk in the morning?

Gluten-tag

Just went to the store and bought milk, cereal, juice and ice cream.

Cashier: “You must be single, right?”

Me: “Yes! How did you know?”

Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”

What's Nintendo's favorite cereal?

Mari-O's

What breakfast cereal do they serve at the Swiss clinic, Dignitas?

Cheerios!

My brother just ran into the kitchen and stepped on all our Cheerios!

He’s a cereal killer

Saw a man at the supermarket today who was saying the most nasty things while walking up and down the aisle, picking different kinds of breakfast-food off the shelves, shouting at the boxes and putting them back again. I asked the manager what his problem was.

Turns out the guy's a cereal offender.

What's Hodor's favorite breakfast cereal?

Raisin Bran.

Never pour cereal down the loo.

It Kellogg's up your toilet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cereals

A 3 year old and a 5 year old play in their bedroom when their mother calls "Boys, time for breakfast!" and the 5 year old says "You know what? I think we're old enough to swear", the 3 year old nods his head. "I'll swear first and then you" the boy nods again. They come down and sit at the table, m...

Kelloggs once had a cereal called 'Snatch'

You open it up, dump out the cereal and eat the box.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which is the number 1 cereal brand in Asgard?

Bifrosties

*holy shit almost crapped my pants with excitement when I came up with this. GF not as excited, I'm counting on you guys

A small chunk of cereal made its way to his best friend

"I'm going to get married!" said the cereal

"Whoa, thats cool!" said his friend, "But I gotta warn you... its hard for cereal to maintain their marriage."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it seems like you've got this in the bag, but it always, my dear friend, always breaks down."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marketing: lets create a fun and exciting cereal

**Executive:** okay... go on.

**Marketing:** it’ll have cool colors and fruity flavors...

**Executive:** omg yes

**Marketing:** and rabbits can fuck right off if they think they can have some!

Dr Ian Malcolm isn't sure how to fit his favorite cereal in the grocery cart

But Life finds a way

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up

A man wakes up in a dimly lit room with three doors. On each door, there is a picture of a different type of food. The first door has a picture of eggs, second has a picture of cereal and the third has a picture of beans.

The man decides to try the first door, so he opens it. Behind it is a ...

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite Peter Pan themed cereal?

Roofie-Os

What is a chiropractor's favorite cereal?

Rice Krispies (Snap, Crackle and Pop)

I should've known better than to sign a contract that was written on the side of a cereal box.

Turns out the thing was filled with loopholes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Tommy lived on a farm,

He woke up one morning and went downstairs for breakfast. Little Tommy's mom said "no, you have to do your chores to get breakfast!"

Little Tommy stormed out of the house an went to feed the chickens and kicked one on the way out. He tromped over to the pigs and kicked one of them as he fill...

My kids love Life cereal. I told them there's a grown-up version called That's Just Life

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

What's Chris Brown's favorite cereal?

Honey Smacks

Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?

It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.

Eating cereals for dinner.

It's the breakfast of tomorrow, today!

Why is cereal Thanos’s favorite food?

Because it’s part of a balanced breakfast!

What do you call someone who touches cereal inappropriately?

A chex offender

People get so heated up about if the milk comes first in tea or cereal

Personally i prefer to put the tea in first, then the milk, then the cereal.

Arrested

Went into a store the other day and got caught stabbing boxes in the breakfast food aisle . The charge? Cereal killer.

What is the night king’s favourite cereal

All-bran

What do you call a group of cereal boxes that never keep their word?

Corn flakes

So Mike Tyson dies and becomes a ghost. What is his favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

Ethereal

(A cereal)



I'm proud of this joke

Opens box of cereal...

We’ve updated our Privacy Policy.

Did you hear about the new breakfast cereal, Prostituties?

It doesn't go Snap, Crackle, Pop. It just lays there and Bangs.

My wife said that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with breakfast cereals.

I said, “Ok. Cheerios then.”

Captain Crunch, Tony the Tiger, and the Trix Rabbit were found dead recently

The police concluded that this is the work of a Cereal Killer.

What kind of cereal does Ronda Rousey eat?

Kix

What does cereal say when it leaves the room?

Cheerio

A mother comes down to the kitchen and finds her daughter up early, eating a bowl of cereal...

The daughter asks- “Mommy, I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom a little while ago. What were you and Daddy doing in there?”

The mother is instantly embarrassed.

“Um... your daddy and I were making a cake, sweetheart.”

The next morning the mom comes down and t...

There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal.

We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!

: As told by my 5 year old.

What do you call a cereal box full of snakes?

Honey Bunches of nopes

Why didn't the snowman eat his cereal?

Because he was already feeling a little flaky.

I heard that life made a new lemon cream flavored cereal

When life gives you lemons.

What do cannibals drink with their breakfast cereal?

A cup of Joe.

What’s the most popular breakfast cereal in Saudi Arabia?

Fruties Pebbled

I was preparing a bowl of cereal, finished 1 box of raisin bran and started another to fill my bowl. I was alarmed to see a different colored cereal;

Then I realized, they were different brans



this is a tru experience that just happened to me

With all the attention on preparing unusual foods in the smoker (hikory smoked mustard, maple smoked ice cream, etc.) I thought up a great idea for a smoked breakfast cereal.

We'll call them "Mesquite O's" the cereal with a bite! They'll leave you itching for more!

Do you think we can stir up some buzz about it?

Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork?

Cos there is no spoon

What’s a band conductor’s favorite cereal?

Flute loops.

California is like a box of cereal...

When you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all that's left are the flakes.

They found a woman dead face down in a bathtub full of cornflakes.

They think it’s the work of a cereal killer.

What do you call a racist cereal?

Special KKK

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

What do you call an online game about cereal?

Cheer.io

What type of cereal goes to the gym twice a day?

Shredded wheat.

I wish I could pin this joke on a 4-year-old, I'm so sorry

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

I opened a pack of cereal and snorted it

I got high on Life

Life cereal uses false advertising...

I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.

I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long.

He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you're are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. B...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

gluten free cereal.

I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it "NO FUCKING WHEY!"

If you eat two bowls of cereal and they taste the same, what flavor is the cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

I hate cereal killers

they go against the grain

If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called?

OV O's!

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

I'd rather buy a box of cereal than an iPhone 7

Because you can have apples with jacks

Preparations for parenthood - dressing and feeding.

New parents: feeding and dressing your toddler is not as easy a skill as it looks. It takes a lot of practice, so here are a couple tips to get you started.

To practice dressing a small child, first you need to get a string bag (like the kind you carry soccer balls). Then go to ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.