UPJOKE
grainwheatricecornbarleymaizemilletoatsorghumflourbuckwheatryebranquinoamalt

Fruit Loops is putting marshmallows in their cereal like Lucky Charms

I guess Toucan play that game

Why does Joey eat his cereal with water?

Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

When I was younger, I thought I was clever by coming up with a joke: What is a British person's favourite cereal?

Cheerios!

I told this to joke to a British person.

They were a little tea'd off.

What brand of cereal is the strongest??

Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.

When I was at the grocery store, I asked an employee where the cereal was, and he said, "I'll see." And walks off. 5 minutes later, I asked another employee about the cereal, and he too said, "I'll see," and walks off.

I eventually found it myself. It was in aisle C.

I stepped on a cereal once

Now iam a cereal killer

What do zombies that like cereal say?

GRAAAIIIINNNNSSSS

What is the Frenchman's favorite cereal?

Oui-ties

They should make a breakfast cereal exclusively for lumberjacks

They can call it morning wood

Cereal first or milk first?

Neither. Bowl first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross a diaper and some cereal?

Snap, crackle poop.

(This is my 8 yr olds favorite joke and she wanted me to make sure everyone on that joke website I go to knew it.)

Did you see the Catholic church released a breakfast cereal?

Cinnamon Pope Crunch: The See You Can Taste

Whats a cat's favorite cereal??

Mice Crispies

A Cheerio sat at the bottom of a box of cereal,

but he longed to get to the top of the box. He had heard at the top of the box, there was a huge party, and he wanted to be a part of it.

So one day, he began climbing. He climbed over the other Cheerios, and gradually got his way up the box.

It took a lot of trying and determination, ...

Didn't that actress from Legally Blonde once eat cereal with a fork?

No wait- she ate Reese With a spoon

A boy asks his father what makes his cereal so good.

Boy: Hey dad, what makes my honey nut cheerios so delicious?

Dad: Bees Nuts.

Hey Dad, you hear the one about the illegitimate cereal?

Snap, Crackle, and no Pop.

(I got that from this '70's movie)

what's a zombie's favorite cereal?

Brain Flakes

Box of cereals walks into a bar.

Sorry, we don't serve your kind.

- Is it because I'm square ?

No, it's the bar code.

Just went to the store and bought milk, cereal, juice and ice cream.

Cashier: “You must be single, right?”

Me: “Yes! How did you know?”

Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”

Why can’t the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal for breakfast?

They choke when they get too close to a bowl.

What do you call someone who puts milk before cereal?

A cereal killer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which is the number 1 cereal brand in Asgard?

Bifrosties

*holy shit almost crapped my pants with excitement when I came up with this. GF not as excited, I'm counting on you guys

I wish my cereal didn't get soggy so fast.

But Life is often disappointing.

All of the staff at the CoCo pops factory were murdered last night

They say it was the work of a Cereal Killer.

What is Gepetto's favorite cereal?

I know you think it's Pinnochi-o's, but it's actually Cheerios. They're whittle o's. Though I guess both woodwork.

What is formal wear for browsing Reddit while having cereals for breakfast?

A redding-oat.

What's Hodor's favorite breakfast cereal?

Raisin Bran.

Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?

It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.

Never pour cereal down the loo.

It Kellogg's up your toilet.

What's Chris Brown's favorite cereal?

Honey Smacks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cereals

A 3 year old and a 5 year old play in their bedroom when their mother calls "Boys, time for breakfast!" and the 5 year old says "You know what? I think we're old enough to swear", the 3 year old nods his head. "I'll swear first and then you" the boy nods again. They come down and sit at the table, m...

Whenever I make my breakfast, I usually first put the cereal.

Next the milk, and then lastly, the bowl

I just made a bran cereal with edibles in it

High 'n Fibre

What's the happiest cereal?

Cheery o's

What kind of cereal does Ronda Rousey eat?

Kix

Police have arrested a gang of Corn Flakes that they alledge committed a spree of armed robberies throughout the metro area. A Police spokesman described them as...

....cereal offenders.

This morning I was aiming my pee at the side of the bowl so it wouldn't make as much noise, and my wife gets mad at me

She's way too overprotective of her cereal

What does German cereal say when it sees the milk in the morning?

Gluten-tag

number 5

I was walking down the street a few days ago I happened upon my good friend Tim. I waved him over and told him I had the craziest dream the other night.



Tim listened as I told him that the dream consisted of just one thing. A huge, bright, number -5-. It was made of gold and shined li...

Which breakfast cereal provokes a woman's wrath?

Scorn Pops

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, a pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks.

His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you."

Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicks the cat.

The boy says "Will you tell him, or should I ?"

I got banned from /r/Jokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

A mother comes down to the kitchen and finds her daughter up early, eating a bowl of cereal...

The daughter asks- “Mommy, I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom a little while ago. What were you and Daddy doing in there?”

The mother is instantly embarrassed.

“Um... your daddy and I were making a cake, sweetheart.”

The next morning the mom comes down and t...

What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

My boss at the cereal factory pulled me into his office...

“I like your recipes son, but I think we should make some changes.”

“Ok”, I said, “Like What?”

“Well, first I’d like to dip it in sucrose. Then, I’d like to dust it with dextrose -“

“Stop right there”, I said. “No need to sugar coat it.”

If you frequently eat a specific type of cereal .

That means you are a cereal killer.

A small chunk of cereal made its way to his best friend

"I'm going to get married!" said the cereal

"Whoa, thats cool!" said his friend, "But I gotta warn you... its hard for cereal to maintain their marriage."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it seems like you've got this in the bag, but it always, my dear friend, always breaks down."

My wife said that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with breakfast cereals.

I said, “Ok. Cheerios then.”

I should've known better than to sign a contract that was written on the side of a cereal box.

Turns out the thing was filled with loopholes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter..

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. Bu...

I grew up so poor...

That I had to eat cereal with a fork to save milk.

What does cereal say when it leaves the room?

Cheerio

Kelloggs once had a cereal called 'Snatch'

You open it up, dump out the cereal and eat the box.

Opens box of cereal...

We’ve updated our Privacy Policy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marketing: lets create a fun and exciting cereal

**Executive:** okay... go on.

**Marketing:** it’ll have cool colors and fruity flavors...

**Executive:** omg yes

**Marketing:** and rabbits can fuck right off if they think they can have some!

Why is cereal Thanos’s favorite food?

Because it’s part of a balanced breakfast!

Dr Ian Malcolm isn't sure how to fit his favorite cereal in the grocery cart

But Life finds a way

What breakfast cereal do they serve at the Swiss clinic, Dignitas?

Cheerios!

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite Peter Pan themed cereal?

Roofie-Os

What is the night king’s favourite cereal

All-bran

My kids love Life cereal. I told them there's a grown-up version called That's Just Life

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three mice are sitting in a bar…

bragging about how tough they are. First mouse says, “Listen mice, I’m so tough, I bench press the bar on a rat trap every morning.” Second mousse sneers, “Ha! I put rat poison in my cereal, and eat two bowls for breakfast every morning!” The third mouse finishes his beer, belches, and says, “Pussi...

What do you call someone who touches cereal inappropriately?

A chex offender

People get so heated up about if the milk comes first in tea or cereal

Personally i prefer to put the tea in first, then the milk, then the cereal.

With all the attention on preparing unusual foods in the smoker (hikory smoked mustard, maple smoked ice cream, etc.) I thought up a great idea for a smoked breakfast cereal.

We'll call them "Mesquite O's" the cereal with a bite! They'll leave you itching for more!

Do you think we can stir up some buzz about it?

Did you hear the news about the guy who killed Tony the Tiger?

He's a cereal killer

What do you call a group of cereal boxes that never keep their word?

Corn flakes

There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal.

We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!

: As told by my 5 year old.

What do you call a cereal box full of snakes?

Honey Bunches of nopes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandad sent me this

Enjoy the fun & the pun.



Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!



Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!



Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better ...

A lot of people think Crop Circles are done by alien aircrafts...

I think they're done by Cereal Killers.

What do you call a racist cereal?

Special KKK

Why didn't the snowman eat his cereal?

Because he was already feeling a little flaky.

My mom was trying to convince me to eat some cereal yesterday

I told her, “No mom, I’m done with life.”

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

Did you hear about the new breakfast cereal, Prostituties?

It doesn't go Snap, Crackle, Pop. It just lays there and Bangs.

California is like a box of cereal...

When you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all that's left are the flakes.

What do cannibals drink with their breakfast cereal?

A cup of Joe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

gluten free cereal.

I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it "NO FUCKING WHEY!"

What type of cereal goes to the gym twice a day?

Shredded wheat.

I wish I could pin this joke on a 4-year-old, I'm so sorry

What do you call an online game about cereal?

Cheer.io

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

Recently, there was a cross contamination with a life cereal factory that's next to an edibles factory

Now I get why people are saying they're high on life.

I hate cereal killers

they go against the grain

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

Life cereal uses false advertising...

I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.

What’s a band conductor’s favorite cereal?

Flute loops.

If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called?

OV O's!

I opened a pack of cereal and snorted it

I got high on Life

What’s the most popular breakfast cereal in Saudi Arabia?

Fruties Pebbled

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.