UPJOKE
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When I was younger, I thought I was clever by coming up with a joke: What is a British person's favourite cereal?

Cheerios!

I told this to joke to a British person.

They were a little tea'd off.

Fruit Loops is putting marshmallows in their cereal like Lucky Charms

I guess Toucan play that game

Why does Joey eat his cereal with water?

Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

What do zombies that like cereal say?

GRAAAIIIINNNNSSSS

I stepped on a cereal once

Now iam a cereal killer

They should make a breakfast cereal exclusively for lumberjacks

They can call it morning wood

What brand of cereal is the strongest??

Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.

Whats a cat's favorite cereal??

Mice Crispies

A Cheerio sat at the bottom of a box of cereal,

but he longed to get to the top of the box. He had heard at the top of the box, there was a huge party, and he wanted to be a part of it.

So one day, he began climbing. He climbed over the other Cheerios, and gradually got his way up the box.

It took a lot of trying and determination, ...

When I was at the grocery store, I asked an employee where the cereal was, and he said, "I'll see." And walks off. 5 minutes later, I asked another employee about the cereal, and he too said, "I'll see," and walks off.

I eventually found it myself. It was in aisle C.

what's a zombie's favorite cereal?

Brain Flakes

Box of cereals walks into a bar.

Sorry, we don't serve your kind.

- Is it because I'm square ?

No, it's the bar code.

Whenever I make my breakfast, I usually first put the cereal.

Next the milk, and then lastly, the bowl

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which is the number 1 cereal brand in Asgard?

Bifrosties

*holy shit almost crapped my pants with excitement when I came up with this. GF not as excited, I'm counting on you guys

I wish my cereal didn't get soggy so fast.

But Life is often disappointing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three mice are sitting in a bar…

bragging about how tough they are. First mouse says, “Listen mice, I’m so tough, I bench press the bar on a rat trap every morning.” Second mousse sneers, “Ha! I put rat poison in my cereal, and eat two bowls for breakfast every morning!” The third mouse finishes his beer, belches, and says, “Pussi...

All of the staff at the CoCo pops factory were murdered last night

They say it was the work of a Cereal Killer.

This morning I was aiming my pee at the side of the bowl so it wouldn't make as much noise, and my wife gets mad at me

She's way too overprotective of her cereal

What is Gepetto's favorite cereal?

I know you think it's Pinnochi-o's, but it's actually Cheerios. They're whittle o's. Though I guess both woodwork.

Just went to the store and bought milk, cereal, juice and ice cream.

Cashier: “You must be single, right?”

Me: “Yes! How did you know?”

Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three couples are looking to join a new church.

They all talk with the pastor, who gives them all a test.

"If you can abstain from having sex until next Sunday, then I'll let you join my congregation," he says. "I want to see how well you can stand up against temptation."

All three couples agree that it's a fair test, and they promi...

What is the number 2 cereal on Asgard?

Loki Charms

Why can’t the Minnesota Vikings eat cereal for breakfast?

They choke when they get too close to a bowl.

I just made a bran cereal with edibles in it

High 'n Fibre

What's the happiest cereal?

Cheery o's

I grew up so poor...

That I had to eat cereal with a fork to save milk.

What is formal wear for browsing Reddit while having cereals for breakfast?

A redding-oat.

I got banned from /r/Jokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

What's Hodor's favorite breakfast cereal?

Raisin Bran.

What do you call someone who puts milk before cereal?

A cereal killer

Never pour cereal down the loo.

It Kellogg's up your toilet.

What's Chris Brown's favorite cereal?

Honey Smacks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cereals

A 3 year old and a 5 year old play in their bedroom when their mother calls "Boys, time for breakfast!" and the 5 year old says "You know what? I think we're old enough to swear", the 3 year old nods his head. "I'll swear first and then you" the boy nods again. They come down and sit at the table, m...

Which celebrity is always ready for cereal?

Reese. With her spoon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandad sent me this

Enjoy the fun & the pun.



Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!



Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!



Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better ...

Did you hear the news about the guy who killed Tony the Tiger?

He's a cereal killer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. Bu...

Lucky Number 5

I was walking down the street a few days ago I happened upon my good friend Tim. I waved him over and told him I had the craziest dream the other night.

Tim listened as I told him that the dream consisted of just one thing. A huge, bright, number -5-. It was made of gold and shined like the ...

What kind of cereal does Ronda Rousey eat?

Kix

Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?

It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.

A mother comes down to the kitchen and finds her daughter up early, eating a bowl of cereal...

The daughter asks- “Mommy, I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom a little while ago. What were you and Daddy doing in there?”

The mother is instantly embarrassed.

“Um... your daddy and I were making a cake, sweetheart.”

The next morning the mom comes down and t...

What does German cereal say when it sees the milk in the morning?

Gluten-tag

What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

What is a chiropractor's favorite cereal?

Rice Krispies (Snap, Crackle and Pop)

I should've known better than to sign a contract that was written on the side of a cereal box.

Turns out the thing was filled with loopholes

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, a pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks.

His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you."

Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicks the cat.

The boy says "Will you tell him, or should I ?"

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite Peter Pan themed cereal?

Roofie-Os

My boss at the cereal factory pulled me into his office...

“I like your recipes son, but I think we should make some changes.”

“Ok”, I said, “Like What?”

“Well, first I’d like to dip it in sucrose. Then, I’d like to dust it with dextrose -“

“Stop right there”, I said. “No need to sugar coat it.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marketing: lets create a fun and exciting cereal

**Executive:** okay... go on.

**Marketing:** it’ll have cool colors and fruity flavors...

**Executive:** omg yes

**Marketing:** and rabbits can fuck right off if they think they can have some!

A small chunk of cereal made its way to his best friend

"I'm going to get married!" said the cereal

"Whoa, thats cool!" said his friend, "But I gotta warn you... its hard for cereal to maintain their marriage."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it seems like you've got this in the bag, but it always, my dear friend, always breaks down."

What breakfast cereal do they serve at the Swiss clinic, Dignitas?

Cheerios!

What does cereal say when it leaves the room?

Cheerio

What is the night king’s favourite cereal

All-bran

Kelloggs once had a cereal called 'Snatch'

You open it up, dump out the cereal and eat the box.

Opens box of cereal...

We’ve updated our Privacy Policy.

Dr Ian Malcolm isn't sure how to fit his favorite cereal in the grocery cart

But Life finds a way

Why is cereal Thanos’s favorite food?

Because it’s part of a balanced breakfast!

My wife said that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with breakfast cereals.

I said, “Ok. Cheerios then.”

My kids love Life cereal. I told them there's a grown-up version called That's Just Life

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

What do you call someone who touches cereal inappropriately?

A chex offender

People get so heated up about if the milk comes first in tea or cereal

Personally i prefer to put the tea in first, then the milk, then the cereal.

What do you call a group of cereal boxes that never keep their word?

Corn flakes

Did you hear about the new breakfast cereal, Prostituties?

It doesn't go Snap, Crackle, Pop. It just lays there and Bangs.

With all the attention on preparing unusual foods in the smoker (hikory smoked mustard, maple smoked ice cream, etc.) I thought up a great idea for a smoked breakfast cereal.

We'll call them "Mesquite O's" the cereal with a bite! They'll leave you itching for more!

Do you think we can stir up some buzz about it?

Why didn't the snowman eat his cereal?

Because he was already feeling a little flaky.

What do you call a racist cereal?

Special KKK

I heard that life made a new lemon cream flavored cereal

When life gives you lemons.

There's a guy sneaking around in grocery stores in my town dropping chunks of dry ice in boxes of cereal.

We're being attacked by a cereal chiller!

: As told by my 5 year old.

What do cannibals drink with their breakfast cereal?

A cup of Joe.

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

What do you call a cereal box full of snakes?

Honey Bunches of nopes

California is like a box of cereal...

When you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all that's left are the flakes.

What do you call an online game about cereal?

Cheer.io

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

gluten free cereal.

I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it "NO FUCKING WHEY!"

What type of cereal goes to the gym twice a day?

Shredded wheat.

I wish I could pin this joke on a 4-year-old, I'm so sorry

I was preparing a bowl of cereal, finished 1 box of raisin bran and started another to fill my bowl. I was alarmed to see a different colored cereal;

Then I realized, they were different brans



this is a tru experience that just happened to me

What’s a band conductor’s favorite cereal?

Flute loops.

If you wait long enough to cook dinner...

Everyone will eat cereal.

Follow me for more recipes!

A lot of people think Crop Circles are done by alien aircrafts...

I think they're done by Cereal Killers.

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

I hate cereal killers

they go against the grain

I opened a pack of cereal and snorted it

I got high on Life

Life cereal uses false advertising...

I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.

What’s the most popular breakfast cereal in Saudi Arabia?

Fruties Pebbled

If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called?

OV O's!

If you eat two bowls of cereal and they taste the same, what flavor is the cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

Did you see the news about the person they found dead in a bathtub full of milk with banana slices in the milk?

They think it was a cereal killer.

I'd rather buy a box of cereal than an iPhone 7

Because you can have apples with jacks

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