Three tourists are hiking through a massive jungle when suddenly a group of tribesmen pounce on them.
The tourists are surrounded by the tribe who all wield spears or clubs.
The tribe leader comes forth to them and says: "We have caught you trespassing on our land. You'll be killed but it is tradition in our tribe to give you one final wish which we will fulfill to our greatest extent."...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man asks his doctor: "Do you think I'll live to be a hundred?"
The doctor asks the man "Well, that depends. Do you drink?"
"Oh, no sir! I abstain from all alcohol. Soda, too. I just drink plenty of fresh water."
"Do you smoke?"
"No, sir! Never smoked in my life, and I stay away from any place with second hand smoke."
"Do you eat a lo...
I used to have an obsession for sweet foods with a hole in the middle
I donut care for them anymore though
A man dies and is waiting to be transported to heaven
He asks Death about what happens next. Death replies "YOU WERE A GOOD MAN ON EARTH , YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN , WHERE YOU WILL ENJOY ETERNAL YOUTH , YOU CAN DO BASICALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT , ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES ". The man thinks to himself, "that's wonderful", and settles down for the journey....
Why Amazon bought Whole Foods
Jeff Bezos: Alexa buy olives from Whole Foods
Alexa: Buying all of Whole Foods
Jeff: No Olives... Meh I can afford it go ahead.
What do sock puppets eat?