I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.

It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."

My wife was giving a speech at her parents’ wedding anniversary, and my phone battery ran out in the middle of recording it.

Now I’ll never hear the end of it.

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I like recording myself drinking tea whilst having kinky sex with a woman...

...I call the video "50 shades of Earl Grey"

What did the Mexican say when he left the recording studio?

Audios.

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He li...

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My girlfriend has been secretly recording me for years and now she’s blackmailing me into doing all these gross fetishes of hers

I just wish I had realized earlier because now she has a lot of shit on me

Did you know Google now has a platform for recording your bowel movements?

It's called Google Sheets.

During a Beatles recording session in the studio, John Lennon says, “Look! Yoko’s here!”

Paul, Ringo and George say, O No

New 911 audio recordings of Chris Browns assault on Rihanna has been released to the public for the first time.

It’s called Chris Browns greatest hits.

There was this guy working at McDonald’s.

and it was his turn to cook the French fries. So he put the frozen fries in the metal basket and dipped it in the oil. You see this guy was a veteran chef and used to be able to sense when food was cooked by looking at it's color or by smelling it, he never needed a timer or a meat thermometer or an...

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Everyone thought Kim Jung Un was in a vegetative state, but actually he was in the studio recording his acoustic album

Kim Jung Unplugged.

Studio apartments are probably the ideal apartments for recording fresh new jams.

Props to the apartment naming committee.

TIL that after recording for Mulan, Eddie Murphy designed a line of sneakers for cows.

They were called Moo Shoes.

I was looking out the window this morning and saw a man mugging someone at gunpoint. I took my phone and started recording but realized I had the front cam on. He got away before I could switch.

Welp, I can see myself making this mistake again.

My son is doing a social experiment for school.

He plans on wearing an "I love Liberals" shirt out in public and will be recording the interactions with others. So far he has been cussed at, spit at, slapped, and even threatened. Im afraid what will happen when he actually leaves the house.

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