why is DNA evidence not permissible in Alabama court?

because its all the same anyway

Did you here about the anti-vaxer with legit scientific evidence?

Yeah, me neither

A particularly open-minded flat-earther started out on a journey, and decided he wouldn't stop traveling until he found evidence to convince him to change his worldview.

And eventually he came around.

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NASA found evidence of a parallel universe where time runs backwards.

But we already knew about West Virginia.

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Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…

2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

I hate these double standards

If you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" and if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

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Sherlock Holmes is looking for evidence at a crime scene with another officer.

Sherlock: I heard the suspect fed the victim an excessive amount of laxatives. Tell me if you find any feces in the area.

*30 minutes later, the office comes back empty handed *

Sherlock: So you didn’t find any?

Officer: No shit, Sherlock.

What happened to the Herb Farmer when evidence was found that he'd been stealing from his company?

He was convicted on counts of Embasilment.

A man committed a murder, and he made the mistake of dragging the body across a freshly-paved sidewalk.

He was easily convicted. There was concrete evidence

Five gangsters walk past a local diner

The owner runs out the door and up to them saying, "Excuse me, I've got a problem and you're the only ones who can solve it!"

The gangsters look at each other confused and ask, "What, why us man?"

"I'll explain later, just come with me!" The owner replies. The curious gangsters follow ...

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An Italian man is looking wistfully out at his fields...

It's spring, and for decades and decades now, he's always planted tomatoes, a tradition he brought over all the way from the old country to his adopted home in the US.

Unfortunately, he's getting old, and the work of turning the soil over to prepare for planting the tomatoes is beyond his bod...

When the police caution you that whatever you say can be taken in as evidence

Your next words must be: please don’t hit me again officer

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Borrowed the Car

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been retur...

A detective is trying to solve a murder mystery

A lady was killed by being stabbed 17 times. The only evidence was a knife, fully made of concrete. The detective sent the knife to a lab, hoping for any DNA evidence, but unfortunately, the results came back inconclusive.

The detective was puzzled. He was sure it was concrete evidence.

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Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

Interpol developed a test to figure out the best Law enforcement team in the world. Today's test involved the Scotland Yard, the FBI and Rio's Military Police.

The test consisted of releasing a bunny in the woods and giving it a 1 hour head start. The police department that found the bunny in the least amount of time would go on to the next phase.

First one to go was Scotland Yard. Using their best detectives, deductive skills and evidence analysis,...

What do a kinky lawyer and a flat earther have in common?

Pulling evidence out if their ass

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Did you know it takes 3 miracles to be declared a Saint by the Catholic Church?

Did you know masturbating 15 times a day for 3 days strait does not constitute as a miracle? Did you also know they return the application and evidence in a package labeled Bio-hazard?

No evidence is good enough for a Creationist...

But no evidence is good enough for a Creationist.

A guy is sentenced to 10 years in prison for murder

A guy is sentenced to 10 years in prison for murder.

Prior to his incarceration, he worked on a farm helping his father dig and prepare the land for plants.

His father wrote to him:” Oh, how I miss when you were here to help me prepare the fields. Now I must do everything alone.”
...

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An old Indian joke. Hope it wasn’t posted before!

A man enters a scientific convention on a whim and there he hears the speaker raising a question to the audience.

“What is the fastest thing known to man?”

The scholars decide to give different answers based on their area of expertise.

The philosopher knowing they can defend t...

The Case of the Missing Harvest

Every year, the creatures of the forest gathered nuts and other snacks to store for the winter. Not only did it keep the community fed, it also marked the end of the year and was accompanied by a great festival of feast, music, and dance.

But one day, all the nuts and berries were taken by a ...

There is more evidence of my existence than of any of the gods.

Yet nobody believes in me.

A hooker gets arrested one night and the next day stands before the judge

The judge reviews the evidence and decides to sentence the hooker to community service for 6 months.

Then the hooker goes "Community service? What do you think I've been doing this whole time?!"

I've always suspected my wife was cheating. Yesterday I found the evidence I was looking for...

She kept the monopoly money hidden in the cushion of the couch.

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TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and demanded $20.00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
C...

An old man is traveling to a far off land, but is arrested in a city named Runnia along the way.

The townspeople of Runnia are convinced that he was the murderer of Barth F. Bradley, the local butcher. Though there is not much evidence of the claim, a witness claims he saw the old man leave Bradley's shop on the night of the murder. The townspeople, who were always suspicious of strangers, cons...

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Ron Jeremy was arrested for sexual assault

Because Ron Jeremy is 67 years old, Prosecutors are worried the evidence won't stand up in court.
Further, Ron Jeremy is entitled to a jury of his peers. Prosecutors are afraid it will be a hung jury.

A cannibal is on trial, and with insurmountable evidence against him he stands and delivers his final argument.

Your honour, I’m not a cannibal, I’m a humanitarian!

When a flat-earther finds conclusive evidence against their beliefs...

...it’s important for them to know that it’s not the end of the world.

The state of public toilets is scientific evidence that doing something 10 000 times doesn't make you good at it.

It's even peer reviewed.

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My wife put on a sexy cop outfit..

My wife put on a sexy cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.

After a quick trial I was released due to lack of evidence.

I've just uncovered damning evidence that Hillary Clinton knew about the 30,000 emails she deleted as well as what really happened in Benghazi

I'm sharing it because the American people deserve to know the tr

A magical teddy bear decided to go for a walk

The bear decided to walk down the street and he stumbled across an alley where he heard some weird sounds. Being a teddy bear, it figured no one would care if it saw them as long as it acted natural. So it went to see what was happening.

The bear noticed an infamous criminal beating a man to...

My wife sued for divorce because she said I couldn't get an erection.

I had evidence to the contrary, but it wouldn't stand up in court.

A man is on trial for murdering his wife, although a body has not been found. [long]

His lawyer says there is not enough evidence. "The ex-wife is not even dead, I am going to prove it to you, she is going to walk through the door in about one minute."

All eyes are focused on the door. A minute passes. Another minute passes. And another.

The prosecution says: "she didn...

Did you hear that Rand McNally is trying to increase product sales by hiding evidence of a flat Earth?

Yes. It’s a global conspiracy.

What do you call a family member who doesn't support their arguments with evidence?

Just cuz.

(I came up with this just now and I'm so proud of it and I haven't slept in 3 days)

A murderer wants to get rid of the evidence

by throwing it into the local sea. However, there's a catch - the town's richest man owns a lot of property, including the sea and all its beaches. The rich man is somewhat paranoid of people trespassing on his property, so he has a private police force. The police are split into 4 teams, named Poli...

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Yes, empirical evidence is the foundation of science. Yes, blind faith is the death of reason.

No, this does not mean that I am obligated to show you my breasts to prove their existence

What do you call a preponderance of evidence that your drink has been laced?

Probable Cosby.

Good news; Ruth Bader Ginsburg shows no evidence of cancer

...her autopsy results revealed.

New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder.

Footprints

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test ...

... and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car" The boy thought about that for a moment,...

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Police are suspicious of a man who shits diarrhea all over the town

But they have no solid evidence.

There's been talks saying the Egyptians invented cement...

Historians have looked in the ruins for evidence but there's nothing concrete

I suspect Elmer Fudd is an r/jokes mod, and I have evidence

[wemoved]

I have evidence that the mods on r/jokes are censoring posts they dont like! More info in post!

[removed]

Once there was a small town

Within this town there was a man named Epydidumus Roderigo the Third, but for simplicity, everyone called him Ep. If there was one thing Ep was known for it was his antique fork, that was passed down through his family for generations and was so old and weathered that only one tine remained on the f...

The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence..

Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough

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An electrical engineer is wrongly accused of a crime.

His name is Myto and he swears he did not kill anybody. However, all the evidence points to him. Of course, he gets 25 years in prison.

When he gets to prison, he meets his bunkmate, Big Joel. Now, contrary to what you may think, Big Joel was not a rapist. In fact, he was the nicest man Myto...

A cop tried arrest me for indecent exposure once.

He had to let me go due to lack of evidence.

The CIA found evidence that Osama Bin Laden had downloaded a lot of videos about how to crochet

Turns out he was trying to replace all those lost afghans

Somebody once argued to me "that which is asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence."

I replied "no it can't."

If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement,

Does that mean that the police have concrete evidence?

What is Will Smith's favorite type of forensic evidence?

Fresh prints.

An Impeachment hearing walks into a bar..........

But with no witnesses or evidence we don't know what was ordered, or what the bartender said, so.....no punchline.

I saw the clearest evidence in not supporting trump in the paper today

He eats his steak well done. With ketchup.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of sexual assault

After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been fisting them for decades.

Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this abuse. Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.

Always plead idiocy, if you can provide evidence.

It's foolproof!

The detective said, "Something's fishy about this evidence..."

Turned out to be a red herring.

If at first you don’t succeed,

destroy all evidence that you tried.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After £1 million worth of sex toys are stolen

After £1 million worth of sex toys are stolen from a lorry in Kettering, police say the suspects may be sitting on the evidence and it’s unlikely they’ll come quietly.

In a courtroom one morning

Barry the Basher was being faced with multiple charges of aggravated battery. He had a reputation of assaulting his victims with a baseball bat.

However, the opposing legal team discovered that all of their evidence was either lost or destroyed and were not able to tie him to any of the cha...

Whats the evidence that Gaston is the best guy ever?

He won the no Belle prize

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call your boner when you get caught masturbating?

hard evidence.



sry guys.

Good Old Vine

At a crime scene two detectives are gathering information on a murder. After gathering evidence and clues about the crime, they head back to their station and report to their boss.

Police Cheif: So, tell me about the case.

Detective 1: The victim is a teen aged boy with a brown and blu...

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