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The other day I visited the thrift shop and picked up an old record album called ‘Sound of Wasps’.

When I got home and played it I realised it didn’t sound anything like wasps!

Turns out I’d been playing the Bee side.

A new study indicates that listening to albums by the band Queen might be bad for your health.

They have a high Mercury content!

Taylor Swift is dropping albums like I’m dropping pounds

Only two, but still more than anyone expected.

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I couldn't remember the name of Kanye's new album

But then it Dondan me.

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What is a family photo album called in Alabama?

Tinder

Lady GaGa and the GooGoo Dolls are coming out with a children's album.

It's called GooGooGaGa

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You kids have it easy with your convenient music streaming services and your smartphones. When we were teenagers, if we wanted to listen to an album by our favourite Australian alt rockers, we had to download it from Napster and put it on a CD ourselves.

We were burning the Midnight Oil.

Have you heard an ex Vice President is releasing a computer generated reggae album?

It's called Al Gore Rhythms

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Eddie Money, Eddie Rabbit, and Eddie Van Halen are all teaming up to make a new album!

The first ever album brought to you by Ed, Edd, and Eddie.

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New album just dropped

Wife unhappy, wedding pictures ruined

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Al Gore is in the wrong line of work

Some people's names match their careers surprisingly well. Imagine a psychic named Krystal Ball or a stylist named Barbera Cutter.

But Al Gore is a failure in this regard. He had the perfect opportunity to start a math rock band in the 80s or 90s and just chose to not. It should have been fa...

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Recently applied to a job as a back-end developer and they asked for some samples of my work.

For some reason, they were not pleased with the album of ass-pics from my previous clients.

Have you guys heard Radiohead is releasing a Valentine's Day album?

It's called OK Cupid.

I ordered a couple Elton John albums off of Amazon three months ago. They still haven't shipped.

And I think it's going to be a long, long time

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My rap album never made big-bucks

Cause of the diss-counts

The only CD shop near my house sells nothing but old albums.

Guess there’s no hot singles in my area.

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I just bought a Mitch Hedburg Album I've never heard before. "Mitch Hedburg: The Lost Jokes"

It was blank.

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What was the name of Hitler's rap album?

Straight Outta Kampfton

Analbumcover

If you read this the same way I did, we can be friends.

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Emerson, Lake, and Palmer walk into a bar. . .

RESUBMITTING WITHOUT LINKS



Picture it. June, 1971. London.



Keith Emerson, Greg Lake and Carl Palmer are celebrating the release of their album Tarkus at the Seven Stars Pub.



Very quickly, both ELP and their BACs are riding high.

Nothing can spoil t...

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You know, everyone says defund the police… but I don’t think that’s necessary…

They haven’t put an album out in years!

What did Darth Vader say when the record store employee told him they were out of George Michael albums?

I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing.

My client is very particular about which classical albums she wants me to restore...

“If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.”

I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.

I need Help.

Did you hear that all of Taylor Swift's exes are collaborating on a new album?

It's called "Maybe She's the Problem".

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2020 Holiday Album

We're getting ahead of the curve and releasing this year's 2020 Holiday Album including such hits as:

1- Baby It's Covid Outside

2- Walking In A Pandemic Wonderland

3- Grandma Got Ran Over By A Protestor

4- Karen, Did You Know

5- Zoom Christmas

6- Frosty The...

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I have every Beatles album except one.

I need Help.

I have a joke about a Nirvana album... Oh, wait...

Nevermind

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Did you know that if you play the first Nickleback album backwards, you get a satanic message?

What's worse is that if you play it forward, you get Nickleback.

I just broke two of my dads old queen albums.

Now I want to break three.

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Heard in Townes Van Zandt’s Live at the Old Quarter album

There’s this drunk walking down the street, and he walks up to this cop and says, “Man, somebody stole my car.” The cop says, “Well, where was it?” And he says, “It was right on the end of this key.”

The cop says, “There’s not much I can do for you, but why don’t you go down to the precinct ...

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Darth Vader walks into his local record shop and asks for a copy of George Michael's debut solo album

The guy behind the counter says "I'm sorry, it's out of stock."

Darth Vader shakes his head and says "I find your lack of Faith disturbing..."

A horse is sitting at home, bored, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the ...

Did you guys hear about the globe that got pressed flat into vinyl album?

Yeah, it was a world record.

A mother and her son are looking at old photo albums

The son points to a photo and asks:

"Mom, who is this muscular guy with so much hair?"

His mother responds:

"Can't you see that? That is your father."

"Oh..." He pauses "But if he's my father, then who is that fat bald guy that lives here?"

I made my fish listen to an Eminem album...

...now he's Swim Shady.

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Matthew McConaughey and Andre 3000 released an album together.

The reviews were
AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright
AlrightAlrightAlright

All these singers dropping their new albums and songs.....

don't you think they oughta be a little careful the next time?

A big record label gathered Eminem, Dr. Dre, and Andre 3000 to collaborate on a new album.

Eminem said, "I'll perform."
Dr. Dre said, "I'll produce."
And Andre 3000 said, "I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write I'll write!"

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So there’s this farm. On this farm, there’s a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

So there’s this farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the ...

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Once upon a time...

A horse lived on a farm with a pig, a sheep, and a cow. Now these were no ordinary barnyard animals - for they were bestowed the miracle of Disney animal anthropomorphism - subsequently, the farmer was very happy to have these animals in his posession and the people who came afar to see them made hi...

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If Al Gore tried his hand as a musician, his album would be called...

**Algorithms.**

Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.

What would Soviet Travis Scott name his album?

Cosmoworld

Has anyone heard the new Hellen Keller album?

It's okay, neither has she.

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One of my friends from Beijing is a huge Taylor Swift fan and asked me to suggest an album of her..

I told him to search for T.S.1989..

haven't heard from him ever since...

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Nicklebacks’ album “Silver Side Up” was released on Sept. 11, 2001.

What are the chances that one of worst days in American history would also be the day a terrorist attack took down the twin towers?

What is Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album?

Dark side of the Moon, for it's eclectic instrumentation and higher than average production values.

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Missy Elliot just dropped her first album in 13 years!

Do you think she still followed the 5 second rule?

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Cher should release an album called "Noble"...

That shit would blow up.

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Why are posts about the new Tool album getting so many Reddit awards?

Because it is worth its wait in gold.

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What’s the name of the second studio album by Nirvana?

Nevermind, I found it.

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How did Avicii complete an album from beyond the grave?

Ghost producing

Turning back the clock an hour in 2020

Is like getting a bonus track on a Yoko Ono album.

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If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT

It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.

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A grandfather and his grandchild leaf through the old family album and find a WW2-era photo

The grandchild asks who the uniformed people on the photo are and the grandfather solemnly says: “It’s the Nazis, kid. They were very, very bad men who murdered a great lot of innocent people, they made war and enslaved other people and they were against any freedom. Very, very bad men.”

The ...

What is Trump's favorite album?

The Wall - Pink Floyd

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an actual oc joke i wrote out like a week ago

One day, a father is enjoying a walk alone, getting his sweet fresh air away from the nagging children and wife. However, enjoying the walk too much, he shuts his eyes. Turning a corner is a very wealthy man in a hurry, who ends up bumping into the father.

Both get up, and the father speaks u...

I was pulled over last night and the officer asked me if I had a police record.

I told him “no but I have a couple albums by Sting.

Adele names albums by numbers, relating to important things in her life.

Her next is rumoured to be called 3.14159265359

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Tried to buy a Charlie Brown LP on ebay and got a Davy Jones album instead.

You know what they say.

You pay Peanuts, you get Monkees.

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A joke that’s got me various death threats

So there was a horse, and this horse was really talented. He was great on guitar. One day he found himself watching youtube and stumbled upon a Jimi Hendrix song which inspired him to start a cover. He practised this cover really hard, eventually becoming inspired to create a cover of a whole Jimi H...

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The Eagles held the record for bestselling album of all time.

That was until Micheal Jackson beat it..

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Did Queen release a Hip-Hop album in the 70s?

Becauase I keep hearing of a Bohemian Rap-CD

Billy has 5 albums by Morrissey and he buys 2 more, what does Billy have?

Depression, Billy has depression.

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Really disappointed with the new Beatles album

It's all drum & bass

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A rapper made an album while in prison. But everyone who bought it was jailed. Why?

Because they had a criminal record.

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So, once upon a time......

A horse sees a rock band perform and thinks "Hey, I could do that." The horse calls up his local music store and is like "I wanna learn guitar, just one problem, I'm a horse." The employee says "don't worry we can do that." The horse goes, learns guitar for a few months, gets really good, and is ...

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What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking - unplugged

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If you like to have sex while listening to music, always pick a live album

... that way you'll get applauded every 3-4 minutes

I tried getting into Guinness World record by smashing up music albums

I broke a lot of records

*ba dum tis*

I love to view /r/gonewild albums in reverse

and watch lonely women regain their dignity.

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".

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An amateur band was recording a new album in the studio...

...and decided to record a cover of another less known artist, a judge who mostly played small private events like weddings.

The album became a huge hit, and sales went through the roof. However, the judge also happened to come across the album after its release. The judge contacted their man...

I bought an album, and called my friend who has a weird fetish for new music.

He came as soon as he heard.

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After Kanye and Donald Trump met up the other day, they will be working on a new album together....

The Deportation of Pablo

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I went into walmart to buy the album "Get Rich or Die Trying" but I had to dispute the price when it rang up for ten dollars...

... because it clearly says 50 Cent on it.

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The Tale of the Animal Band

So there was this horse, and recently he had gone through some tough times. His wife left him, he lost his job, and rent day was coming ever closer. This is when he had a brainwave: He was going to get his childhood band back together. So the first member to convince was the cow. Now the cow was pre...

I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition.

It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time.

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A struggling rock band...

A struggling indies band from Brooklyn, The Spoonerists, was in the process of recording their debut album. The artistic sentiment of the group led them to use ambient sounds from nature in their arrangements. One of the members of the band took it upon himself to go out in to the field and make rec...

Have you heard the name of Chris Brown's latest album?

Chris Brown's Greatest Hits ft. Rihanna

I rate the next One Direction album...

...four out of five stars.

Did you hear that Fergie and R. Kelly are collaborating on a new album?

They are calling their group the Black Guy Pees.

I smashed a thousand albums yesterday...

I think I broke a record.

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What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours?

Skip to the next track

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There's a rumor that if you play a Nickleback album backwards it plays satanic messages. But that's nothing....

... if you play it forwards it plays a Nickleback album.

Just found out that global pop megastar Adele ripped off one of my songs for her debut album!

I don’t know if I can be bothered to take her to court over it though. Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing payments?

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I have been looking for a download of an album I used to have on cassette tape.

Anyone have at link to "Head Cleaner Kit"?

Does anyone know why people are buying Chris Brown's new album?

Because it beats me.

Did you hear about the mummy that reached the top 10 with his new album?

People say it's cause he has the tightest wraps

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Someone's written an album about thermometers...

I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.

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I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket ....

Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments

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Cher puts out an album only covering Meatloaf. Title:

Cher the Meatloaf

I bought a photo album.

It's just forty minutes of clicking noises.

What do you call a Jamaican that just finished his reggae album?

Ben-jamin

I was going to rank Green Day's albums from best to worst.

Then I realized they already made them in order.

I have a now famous relative

I have a now famous relative named Neil Coal who works in music. Back in 2003 he was under pressure to release his first album.

You might know him as Niel Diamond.

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So I accidentally got a tupac album

but it's no biggie

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Photo Album

A young boy was looking through
the family album and asked his
mother, "Is this you on the beach?

Mother says "Yes, it is"

Son asks "Who's this guy with you with all the

muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father."

"Then who's that old bald-headed
...

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