Heath ledger and Jack Nicholson walk into a cell phone store...

The cellphone salesman looks at Heath Ledger and asks him what type of cellphone he would like, he says he wants the best cell phone they have. So the salesman hands him the best cell phone they sell and also asks him if he would like a text messages and data plan. Health responds of course I will, ...

Someone has been spraying graffiti of what appears to be corporate ledgers all around my neighborhood.

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls.

TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger.

He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right.

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Back in 1920's...

...Mrs. Goldstein decided to leave NY for a vacation in Miami Beach. She decided to make a reservation at the Fountainebleu hotel (which at the time, infamously would not rent rooms to Jews or other minorities)

She got to the front desk and signs her name in the ledger. The clerk looks at her...

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A priest dies and stands in front of God.

A priest dies and stands in front of God.

God looks at the priest's ledger of good and evil and smiles after finishing it. Looking up at the priest, God says "I'm satisfied with how you've lived and how you've spent your life. I give you the option to choose — Hell or heaven?"

The prie...

A Soviet woman is trying to buy a Lada

The dealer tells her there is a shortage of these cars, despite their reputation for shoddy quality. Still, the woman insists on placing an order. The dealer gets out a large, dusty ledger and adds the woman’s name to the long waiting list. “Come back two years from now on March 17th,” he says. The ...

How do you stop a dog barking in July?

Shoot him in June.


From the old Adam West Batman, as told by Cesar Romero. Still the #1 Joker, apologies to Heath Ledger.

An accountant is having a bad day

Everything is going wrong, his marriage is going down the tubes, he is about to lose his job, he steps out and looks down
Guy on the street calls the cops and says "Come quick! There's an accountant on the ledger!"

I have a spreadsheet wherein I track all the chocolate toffee bars I've eaten.

It's my Heath ledger.

Good for Christian Bale, visiting the victims of the Aurora, Colorado massacre.

I heard some of them even got to meet Heath Ledger.

Check-in lines at the gates of heaven

There are several check-in counters at the gates of heaven with big signs telling arrivals where they should check in. One counter has a sign "All married men who were hen pecked by their wives". There is a long line of men waiting to check in there. Next to it is a counter for "married men who w...

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e.e. cummings walks into a store

e.e. cummings went into a store to buy 17 pounds worth of goods. he forgot his wallet, but he took his pen and wrote four words down on an accounting ledger. i'm not gonna tell you what the words were, but they paid the bill and he got two vowels and a capital back.

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