I wanted an Australian Visa. They asked if I had a criminal record.

Didn't know you still need it.

The police caught a person erasing people's criminal records

They said he was a real pro for a first offender.

Not all criminal records are bad

Some warrants are outstanding.

How did the hotdog get the job despite having a criminal record?

It was a misde-wiener

After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving.

So they arrested me for wasting police time.

I told my girlfriend that brown rice was just white rice with a criminal record...

...she called me a riceist

What do you call a ship with a criminal record?

A thugboat.

When my employer asked if I had a criminal record...

...I guess "highest number of robberies in an hour" wasn't the answer he was looking for.

Last time I went to Australia they asked me if I had a criminal record

Didn't think you still need one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Idk where i heard it

A man flies to Australia, when he arrives the lady at the airport asks him if he has a criminal record, the man answers ''crap are those still required?''

A British man is visiting Australia.

The man at customs asks him


"Do you have a criminal record?"


The British man replies


"I didn't think you'd need one to get into Australia any more."

The Englishman goes through Australian immigration

The Englishman goes through Australian immigration, the officer looks at his form and asks him "Do you have a criminal record?" The Englishman replies "Is that still a requirement?"

I started University with a good medical record...

...and left with a good criminal record.

Result.

What kind of music do prisoners prefer?

Criminal records

So I recently went to Australia...

I want to Australia for holiday.
I was at the airport and one of security people asks me: "Do you have a criminal record?"
I responded: "Oh. I didn't realise that was still a requirement."

I went to Australia house today to apply for a visa...

The woman at the counter said “everything looks good but I have to check if you have a criminal record”

I replied “Oh I didn’t know you still needed one”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rapper made an album while in prison. But everyone who bought it was jailed. Why?

Because they had a criminal record.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A foreigner accepts an ad for a roomate position...

An ad is put out by a young couple for a roomate position. After a while, a foreigner not from any country nearby accepts. Now, the man has great credit, no criminal record, and perfect English. He's accepted immediately. Only, there's one problem.

In his home country, the foreigner had no co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are talking at a job placement office

about how difficult it is to get a job when you have a criminal record. The first guy says, "Well, it's all about putting a positive spin on it. Take me for example, I was arrested for trying to rob the same convenience store 6 times. So I tell people that I'm persistent, tenacious, and refuse to gi...

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