Photograph Jokes

They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you.

....or does it take time to develop ?

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are.

Please keep your photo and return the others.”

He was charged with indecent exposure

A Los Angeles agent representing a wealthy photographer called and asked to speak to his client.

"Brittany, I have some good news and I have some bad news."


The photographer replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."


The ... read more

By selling your camera.

Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.

But its still developing.

But they wood-ant cooperate

After a few shots, they had lost focus and couldn't remember the pointe.

He is overcome by the urge to bang one out, and just as he releases the holy seed he sees a flash of reflected sunlight across the street through the open window and realises someone has been taking photos.
Furious, he gets on his shower intercom and demands the Swiss Guard find the photographer ... read more

The caption reads: Several pigs surrounding Dear Leader (3rd from left)

His photography subjects tried to warn him but apparently a giant wheel of coagulated milk crushed him.

I need to take a photograph to remember anything.

He shot himself.

Turn off the lights and see if anything develops.

Turns out, no one wants unsolicited tick pics

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well.

Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa.

The deaf sister said to her twin "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!" said the other.

"Now get a little closer to... read more

A. Because they spent too much time processing the negatives.

Someone shot it

It makes you look 2D pendant

The both take pictures.

They are out enjoying a sunset walk and admiring the scenery, when they come across a man taking photographs. The man, being awestruck at the beauty of the two ladies, asks if he can take their picture with the setting sun in the background.

The ladies discuss the idea and eventually agree. ... read more

When the photographer arrived, he realize that the smoke was so thick, it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything at ground level.

He requested permission to hire a plane and take photos from the air.

Arriving at the airport, he saw a plane warming ... read more

..should be taken outside and shot.

Don't believe it.

Fake Gnus

Because they have bear feet

But she was extremely well developed

It will be called: Adobe Photo Shop

An American photographer on vacation was inside Westminster Abbey taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The ... read more

Despite a negative interview, the boss told me that he can develop my talent in the dark room.

They're not developing.

Phil Ming

He said he liked shooting fish in apparel

When trying to take a group photo, a giant wheel of cheddar rolled over and crushed him.

Witnesses said people did try to warn him.

And it fell under a woman's skirt. He asked her "can you lift your skirt? I just wanna take a photo"

RAWR

One of them trips and fall onto the ground.
The second one immediately falls down next to him and says: “Excellent angle! What are we shooting?”

Photobomb

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween.

The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot.

The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
... read more

They like when you shoot raw.

Cannons

He was fined for indecent exposure.

I can just picture myself doing it.

Someday my prints will come

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

They get paid to take headshots.

'Cause they appear in black and white.

...they're always looking at the negatives.

Because they don’t do anything all day but focus on the negatives.

...turns out, he really enjoys a lap dance.

Unfortunately it's digital and it didn't come with a memory card.

Mist

...he said, "It doesn't really matter. Just take your pic."

A. He had a problem with perspective

He couldn't focus on the negatives.

4K

Because he couldn't FOCUS

A school shooter.

“Popeye DSLR man!”

Apparently it's just like shooting fish in apparel.

In the village newspaper office, there was a heated discussion about how to caption the photograph. “Pigs and Comrade Khrushchev”? “Comrade Khrushchev Among Pigs”? None will do. The editor finally makes a decision: “Third From Left: Comrade Khrushchev.”

They kept getting mad when I told them to say cheese.

The photographer takes a few shots, takes a minute to switch to a different lens, spends some time adjusting the camera to the new lens, and then resumes.

After he's repeated this process a few times, Astrid gets visibly frustrated with the continual delays to the shoot. She turns to Ebba and... read more

After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.

They have a knack at looking at things from a different perspective.

After an initial negative review, today my boss told me my talent is developing.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

All the guests tried frantically to warn him, but to no avail.

An attractive female photographer came to the retirement home to take the brothers' picture. "I'm going to take your picture," she said.

"What did she say?" asked Ted. "She says she's going to take our picture," replied George. So George and Ted followed the photographer to a room.

Ins... read more

The photographer saw the enormous work to guide each of the 50 people and told to himself:

-Well, they all look the same, I will do just one photo and will send a copy to each one. They wouldn't notice.

So, he did it and sent a copy to each one of them. The next day, a Chinese guy com... read more

"Hello," he says. "Is that photographer ad a joke?"

"No," says the voice on the other line. "One of our photographers died suddenly last week, and we're looking for a new one."

"Cool! I've been looking for a new job for a while, and this seems like it could be a very fine job for me."<... read more

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
... read more

(long) ...came to the US back in the 1960s before digital photos, cell phones, or computers. He wanted to get a professional photo taken to be sent to his mamma in Italy to show her how well he was doing.

The photographer said he would be at Giorgio’s home at 11:00. But, Giorgio understood 1:... read more

*One time back in the 1980s when I was living in Austria, a bunch of us went out for a beer. During the chit-chat, an American friend of mine named Margie insisted that Austrian jokes weren't funny. Her (Austrian) boyfriend Werner disagreed. Margie said, "Well, tell that mouse joke of yours." Werner... read more

The administration was worried about the wrong thing going viral.

Everyone posing for the wedding party picture had tried to warn him.

Who knew a simple photograph would mean so much to her?

He took too many shots.

Oh how I miss good ol papa razzi

Becuse they have a 80D

No matter how hard they tried, they always developed a negative image.

Neither is aware of the other's occupation.
They talk about "how to take the perfect shot."
[A college student shows up, slams back both of their drinks and says "Thats how you take a shot!" ](#s)

By the time they found the body he'd died of exposure.

He goes into battlefields after the shooting's stopped and takes pictures of the aftermath.

The newspaper he works for got him a contract to take photos in Iraq. Well, this was just after the war broke out, and he couldn't just fly into the country, not while there was a war. So he flew into... read more

I guess ISOlation is the name of the game.

Polaroids.

^I ^know, ^that ^was ^god ^awful.

Apparently he was a great pitcher-taker.

(Credit goes to my husband.)

So I emailed her back.

Cam-Ra

Thanks to their Dad.

Papa Razzi.

They're both mass shooters.

"I can't take it anymore!"

It was said to be appearing that night, in an abandoned house. This was said to only happen every one hundred years. So, the photographer packs his equipment and goes to the house. Around midnight, the ghost appears. It turns out to be quite friendly, and consents to have its picture taken. The phot... read more

Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".

Kind regards
Channel Four.