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what do you call a pansexual person named nick who works at a disc company?

Pan nick at the disc co

Why are the brake discs of Miley Cyrus' car shaped like a human organ?

'cause nothing brakes like a heart.

over the weekend I've trained my wife to swap discs for me in my PS4....

what a game changer

I made a vinyl disc with grooves in 2 minutes.

I think that's a record.

The disc drive on my DVD player is busted. I guess you could say it has...

Ejectile disfunction.

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I was having a conversation with a scammer the other day.

Me: “Hello.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.”

Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.”

Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?”...

Jesus and floppy discs are very similar

They both died to become the image of saving

I taught my young daugther to switch out the discs in my PS4 for me.

It was a real game changer.

My friend invented a machine that can take a disc out of a console, then put a new one in

It's a game changer

If you play a Windows Vista disc backwards, you can hear satanic chanting...

...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista.

Have you heard about the device that automatically swaps out Xbox discs for you?

It's a game changer.

what did they call the disc jockey who kept playing the same songs again and again?

DJ Vu

Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?

E-Reptile Disc Function

So I purchased a DVD called “Fyre Festival: Behind the Scenes”

It cost $100 and there was no disc in the case

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I got a new porno the other day

I turned on my tv, popped the disc in and the first thing I saw was some fat guy staring at me holding his dick. Then I realized the tv didn't turn on.

Two CIA agents were staying at a hotel in Moscow.

One was concerned that the room was bugged, so the other said, “Don’t worry, let’s check.” So they looked all over the room for any hidden microphones; behind the drapes, inside the cupboards, even behind the paintings. Underneath the rug, they found a metal disc with four screws. The two agents qui...

Did you hear about the 70s style record company that burned down?

Yeah, it was a disc co. Inferno!

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What do you call a hard drive after sex?

A floppy disc

When my grandfather passed away, we were surprised

. . . to discover a small locked box in his closet. No one in the family had ever seen it before and no one could provide any guess as to what it might contain. Curiosity eventually overtook us and we brought the box to a locksmith to be opened. Inside were some trophies, many small discs and a c...

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There was this 80 year old virgin...

There was this 80 year old virgin that started getting itchy... down there....

So, she goes to the gynecologist. The dr does the examination and reports "ma'am, i'm sorry to tell you, but it appears you've contracted an STD. We'll need to do further testing to confirm." The lady is outraged! ...

I had a dream last night...

In my dream I was watching a band play. Buddha was playing guitar, Jesus was playing bass, Mohammed was singing, and Zeus was playing the drums. After the show, Zeus came down and gave me a large metal disc. I think it was a cymbal from god.

Red Neck Computer Dictionary

* LOG ON: Makin’ a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin’ the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you’re not keerfull gittin’ the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much far...

A kid has a pear-shaped head

The poor kid is feeling down because everyone at school teases him about his pear-shaped head. One day he can no longer take the teasing and says to the kids teasing him, "I can't help having a pear-shaped head, my mom ate a pear when she was pregnant with me."
"That's not how it works," one of t...

Why was the middle aged computer sad?

He had a floppy disc.

TIFU

Now the disc is not playable.

My 7 year old niece didn't realize she made a joke while playing Star Wars with me.

Me (Darth Vader): What have you done with those plans?!?
Her (Leia): It's over there in that little box.
Me: How can a disc fit in that little box?
Her: It was a floppy disc.

A man tries to rob a record store...

... by stealing many valuable vinyls. However, a sharp-eyed-shopper caught him in the act. He shouted out, "Hey! This guy's trying to shoplift!" to the rest of the store. The thief tried to run away, but the shopper grabbed a record and threw it at the man, knocking him over. Several other shoppers ...

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