Disc Jokes

...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista.

“Sorry”, said the cashier, “we don’t have any in stock.”

A lady went into an embroidery shop to buy some fancy beads for her dress.

So she tried another shop down the road.

Like this joke, the shops were all out of sequins.

It was a record record record!

It was a real game changer.

They both died to become the image of saving

The first guy throws his putt, it bounces off the basket and rolls back right past him. In exasperation he exclaims "I swear to God!" as the disc goes by. When the second player throws his putt, it goes wide but gets a lucky bounce off a nearby tree and ricochets back into the basket. In a fit of jo... read more

I think that’s a record.

but their machine can only make them so fast before it starts wrecking them. I found a function that solves the problem simply by improving the machine’s code, but they laughed when I told them I had a wrecked tile disc function.

Sounds like a broken record

It really sucks though.

'cause nothing brakes like a heart.

what a game changer

It's a game changer.

It's a game changer

DJ Vu

Because it was pi-rated.

Before she was buried the earth was a disc.

When I hear all the people complaining about the Nanochip that is implanted with the Covid vaccine I think about when I was young and had to swallow a whole floppy disc for the Polio vaccine

Disc joey

|Term|Definition|
|:-|:-|
|Log On:|Makin' da vood stove hotter!!|
|Log Off:|Don't add no more vood!!|
|Monitor:|Keepin' an eye on da vood!!|
|Download:|Gettin' da vood off da truck!!|
|Mega Hertz:|Ven yer not careful gettin' da firevood!!|
|Floppy Disc:|Vat yew get from ... read more

He is severely hunched over and looks embarrassed.

After he is given his room, the nurse asks him what happened and he refuses to tell her.

Next a physician's assistant comes in and asks what happened. The man again refuses to say what happened.

Finally, the doctor comes in and... read more

Panic! At The Disc

They insert the floppy into the disc drive.

The competition was heating up, and the next correct diagnosis would be the winner.

Just then an old man hobbles by, walking carefully with short, shuffling steps. He has an IV tower with him and appears to be leaning on it for support.

The young doctor snaps his fingers and says “I g... read more

"Could you please give me a description of them?" the man asked.



"Certainly," I replied. "They're round plastic discs on which music or other digital information is stored."

Yeah, it was a disc co. Inferno!

E-Reptile Disc Function

It cost $100 and there was no disc in the case

In my dream I was watching a band play. Buddha was playing guitar, Jesus was playing bass, Mohammed was singing, and Zeus was playing the drums. After the show, Zeus came down and gave me a large metal disc. I think it was a cymbal from god.

. . . to discover a small locked box in his closet. No one in the family had ever seen it before and no one could provide any guess as to what it might contain. Curiosity eventually overtook us and we brought the box to a locksmith to be opened. Inside were some trophies, many small discs and a c... read more

The poor kid is feeling down because everyone at school teases him about his pear-shaped head. One day he can no longer take the teasing and says to the kids teasing him, "I can't help having a pear-shaped head, my mom ate a pear when she was pregnant with me."
"That's not how it works," one of t... read more