Accomplishment Jokes

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Then today he called me to brag that he got his wife pregnant.

Wordle.

She bets him five dollars that she can and he agrees. She climbs all the way to the top and gets her five bucks.

She tells her mom after school, feeling proud of her accomplishment.

“Oh honey, he just wanted you to climb the pole so he could see your underwear.” She says, shaking her h... read more

He accomplished this by creating the Space Force.

I do love the sound of chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer...

pear

The Brit said that he had replaced a blown off leg with a wooden one and the man had went on to become an acrobat.



The German said that that was nothing and that he had replaced a blown off arm with a wooden one and the man had went on to become Germany's greatest drummer.

... read more

is his last name.

If you say she only became famous due to blind luck, your claim shall fall on deaf ears.

It’s true...

"Last month," says Al, "when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within six hours. The next day, I put a check in the mail for his family."

"That's nothing," says Ben. "Last week, when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within 30 minutes. That very day, I personally d... read more

Applicant:Well I discovered aliens, outside my house and managed to learn their language.
Interviewer:That seems rather complicated...
Applicant:Well Spanish isn't hard to learn sir.

A sense of pride and accomplishment.

Like seriously, I don’t care if you went to the freaking Moon. Do something else with your life Buzz

That'll probably double the amount of plastic we export next year.

"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

The world's richest man is dying. He has made peace with that.

But what is bothering him so much is that no one in the afterlife will even know that he has amassed such a colossal personal fortune. On Earth, everyone knows he's a self-made man who built this huge fortune from scratch, but he... read more

APRIL FOOLS!!!!

The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."

The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."

To which the Mormon replied, "You fellas ain't g... read more

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

* First Terrorist enters the job interview:

Q: Name?

A: Mohammed.

Q: Biggest accomplishment?

A: Robbed a Bank, killed 2 Officers.

Q: How many Letters are in the Alphabet?

A: 26.

* Second Terrorist enters:

Q: Name?

A: Ibrahim.

Q: B... read more

When the young seminary graduate arrived at the small country Church to preach his first official sermon, he noticed it had snowed about three feet deep just hours before Church was scheduled to begin. Due to the snow, An elderly, white bearded farmer was the only person to show up for the service.<... read more

Because paying for health insurance should give a sense of pride and accomplishment

# "Your days are numbered!"



Inventor of the calendar, joyously announcing his accomplishment!

The three vampires are sitting together in a cabin talking about their accomplishments as vampires.
Soon, they start to brag who's the best vampire. Then they suggest a competition: who can suck the most blood in the least time.

The first one leaves and returns after an hour, his lips ... read more

Telling a Lie is a

sin for a child,

fault for an adult,

an art for a lover,

a profession for a lawyer,

a requirement for a politician,

a management tool for a boss,

an accomplishment for a bachelor,

an excuse for a subordinate, but

A mat... read more

Spending extra dollars to use some websites will give you a "sense of pride and accomplishment"!

Because he wanted to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment

I hope it at least gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.

The leader asked everyone to share their greatest accomplishment. When it got to me I told them, “I plugged in a usb on the first try once.” The instructor looked at me and said, “I’m sorry, this group is for people with low self esteem. Pathological liars are across the hall.”

At least he will feel pride and accomplishment.

Pride and Accomplishment, by Jane Austen

... he just wants to give us a sense of pride and accomplishment with our internet bill

"The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment from successfully navigating our automated phone menu."

Which in itself is an accomplishment as he is totally armless. He orders a drink, and when served, asks the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. He then asks if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender does it and comments that ... read more

95% of the content hidden away from the main game without first lots of grinding and getting a sense of pride and accomplishment to unlock it

cc r/outside

“Your job is simple,” says St. Peter. “Whenever someone approaches the gates, you ask them about their accomplishments in life. If their answer satisfies you, you let them in to Heaven. If not, they get sent to Hell.” Jesus thinks this sounds simple enough, and he agrees.

Before too long, a m... read more