A chopped up person needs help getting put back together.

I'd help, if only I could remember.

A little boy...

.... and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.

The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.

He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't.

It's too wiggly and limp ...

Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies.

Women’s heads are much harder to put back on in real life.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A man with a large penis goes to the doctor

For he has a very bad stuttering problem.

He says the to doctor “i i i I’ve g g g got a a a a p p p problem i can’t t t t talk in f f f full S S S sentences.”

The doctor says “well maybe you just have a bad stutter but we will run some tests on you to make sure.”

So they run t...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are escaping prison

After somehow dodging the security guards, they make it out of the prison. However, they are on an island and still have to swim 10 miles to be free.

They all swim away, but after 1 mile the brunette gets exhausted and turns back, saying she can't make it the whole way.

2 miles later ...

Two Leprechauns Knock on the Convent Door (long)

The Mother Superior opens the door and the first leprechaun doffs his hat then stammers and stutters, "T-t-t-top o' the mornin' to ye, sister!"

She replies, "Top o' the mornin' to you, Seamus. What can I do for you this morning?"

"W-w-w-w-well, sister, I-I-I-I'd b-be after a-a-a-a-ski...

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