Pea Soup Jokes

Anyone can roast beef

There was a dense summer fog and the officer on the bridge was becoming more and more exasperated.

As he leaned over the side of the bridge trying to pierce the gloom, he sees a hazy figure leaning on a rail a few yards from his ship.

He almost choked.

"What do you think you're ... read more

You can mince meat.

They heard that in this particular restaurant, the waiter would sing their customer a little song every time they give out their order.

Hearing this, the guys each make their order. Then, after waiting a while, the waiter arrives with one of the firest guy's food and a little song to accompan... read more

Q: What did you have for lunch?
A: Pea Soup
Q: What did you have for dinner?
A: Pea Soup
Q: What did you do all night?
A: Pee soup…

You can mash potatoes,
but you can't pee soup.


(sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

A man sits down at a restaurant and looks at the menu. He tells the waiter, "I think I will have the turtle soup."
The waiter leaves, but the man changes his mind to pea soup. He yells to the waiter, "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"

He sits down at a table and the owner comes up to him.
"Hello sir, goodevening would you like to see a menu or do you know what you want?"
To which the man replies," I'm sorry I'm blind but I'll tell you what, bring me a dirty fork from for recommended plate."
Confused, but interested th... read more