UPJOKE
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What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay to have a lentil in my mouth.

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

Nobody ever paid $100 to have a lentil on their face.

I just found out I'm allergic to legumes

Doctor says it's a lentil illness

What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil

I wouldn't pay 200 dollars to have a lentil on my face

Q: What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

A: I didn't pay $50 to have a lentil on me last night.

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I didn’t drill a hole in the bathroom wall to see a lentil.

A man collapsed in the lentil aisle at my local supermarket.

Fortunately, when the paramedics arrived, they found a pulse.

My father told me that 65% of the lentils they farm go to Asia.

I asked him if they were ori-lentils.

How do you address an audience full of dried seeds?

"Ladies and lentil-men...."

Did you hear about the chef that died?

He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will become a pizza history.
He ran out of thyme He lentil us some of his best secrets.

Now top that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

James and his giant peach

James was a delivery boy of amazing delicious fresh Indian food from one island to another. James loved peaches, the head chef told him to take a small peach and everyday he rowed out to the neighbouring island , for his good deed his peach would grow.
James on first day of work collected butter ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 drunkards walking down a street and suddenly sidestep a pile of runny brown on the pavement

One says ‘what a waste, a good helping of peanut butter thrown on the street’

The other says ‘pff that’s not peanut butter! It’s obviously a side of lentil curry’

The first dips a finger and takes a taste, ‘hmm maybe you’re right it’s not peanut butter’

The other tries some too ...

Ash Wednesday was yesterday so my family is going to be eating a lot more legumes

Mostly lentils

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