Elephant Stew

## Ingredients

* 1 Elephant
* Brown gravy, and lots of it
* Salt and pepper to taste
* 2 Rabbits (optional)

## Directions

Cut elephant into small, bite-size pieces.

This should take about 2 months.

​

Add enough brown gravy to cover,
<...

What are the ingredients for the homemade Bill Clinton stew?

One wiener, one cooked goose, lots of spilled beans, and tons of hot water.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The recipe said, "put the stew in at 180 degrees", so I did…

Now it's all over the bottom of the fucking oven…

I just found out I couldn't use "beef stew" as a password.

Apparently it's not stroganoff.

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My wife said my stew was too salty, was far too watery and left her with a strange metallic after taste.

Bitch... I put my blood, sweat and tears into that dish.

I couldn't be with a guy called stew..

I don't like people's leftovers.

What country has the coldest bean stew

Chile

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Because it was stew-pig

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A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife

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What do you call an artist who loves making stew?

Stewart.

Why didn't the chef finish his stew?

Cause he was too busy stroganoff!

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Cold stew

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How do you make gorilla stew?

You keep it waiting

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Fisherman's secret

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A lady pregnant with triplets is cooking stew for dinner one night...

A lady pregnant with triplets is cooking stew for dinner one night when her husband, who has been out hunting all day comes home empty handed. As he leans over to kiss her, three bullets fall out of his pocket and into the stew. The husband and wife are unaware and dinner is served. With the first s...

Cold Stew

A Man walks into a diner, he sees they have a special "today only" on Cold Stew. He sits down at the diner table and asks the waitress to order a bowl. "im sorry sir." she replies "The gentleman beside you just ordered the last bowl."
"thats alright, ill just have a coffee."
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Who serves all you can eat rabbit stew?

Warren Buffet!

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. Bu...

In Medieval Europe, there once was a triangular lake.

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Al the Irish jokes I've heard - Irish this sub a happy St. Patrick's Day!:

* What do you get when you cross a 4 leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.
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Three kingdoms lay on a triangle lake

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A wife comes home and finds her husband in bed with a young woman.

As she is reaching for the phone to call her lawyer, he says, "Wait a minute! I can explain everything!
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Naval History Lesson

Long ago, when ships sailed the oceans, a captain would fill a box with maps and navigation charts, and other tools necessary for warfare on the high seas. In preparation for battle, he would call to his first mate to bring him his "War Chest".

Once, a merchant ship was captured by surprise ...

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The Blonde man says "bologna...

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Two hobos walking the tracks....

Two hobos are walking the tracks when they come upon a dead squirrel. The first hobo cooks the squirrel, offering some to the second hobo, who declines.

As they keep walking they find a dead rabbit. Again the first hobo cooks a nice meal, offers some to the second hobo, who declined.

...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So, one fine day, a man is strolling through an open-air market place.

He stops at one of the live animal stalls and buys a chicken thinking that he will take it home, and make a nice chicken stew for dinner. On his way home he passes a theater that is showing a movie that he has been wanting to see and he decides to go in. The woman at the box office sees the chicken ...

My dad CLAIMS to have invented this joke. I think it's too good and don't want to give him credit, but I can't find it online.

This story takes place in 1860. Back 150+ years ago, presidental candidates didn't have nearly the luxuries current candidates do. The didn't stay in five star hotels or travel by private jet - they stayed with normal families on their campaigns and in exchange for a place to stay, would do chores a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man tells his doctor about his wife's poor hearing.

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The man then goes home and sees that his wife is cooking.

He stands 15 feet behind ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Mrs Omalley needs vegetables

Mrs. O'Malley woke up on a fine Monday and decided to make a delicious stew for her dear husband of 50 years.

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A man goes to a French market

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?

Art.

That same guy in your pool? Bob

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This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A reporter, a foodie and a commando are captured by terrorists

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Terrorist says "OK" and allows him to make the report.

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Cannibal Jokes...

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"



A cannibal invites a friend around for dinner. As they're tucking into the starter, the guest says
"Wow. Your wife make a lovely stew."
"I know." answers the host. "I sure will miss...

Challenge

Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted.
Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Freddy the Flea

Freddy The Flea

Freddy the Flea is laying out in the sun in Miami Beach, putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms, and on his little flea legs, when he notices his buddy Oscar stumbling down the beach.

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This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Chinese man stumbles home late one night really drunk...

Seeing his wife at the top of the stairs he says "hey baby how about a little number 69!"

The wife replies, "you drunk sonofabitch, make your own Mongolian Beef Stew!"

I just told a cow that he's being watched.

I always like to make beef stew.

What do you call a guy who falls into a Yellowstone hot spring?

Stew.

Are you gonna eat that?

A hungry man with a hankerin' for chili sits down at a restaurant.
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The hungry man looks over and sees that th...

What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi?

Stew.

Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

NSFW - Young man goes into a bar after a bad day

A young man goes into a bar and orders six shots of the cheapest vodka. The bartender pours them up and watches as he downs them all. He says, "It looks like you've had a tough day."

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This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irish man are walking through the jungle...

Where they are captured by a group of hungry cannibals.
The cannibals set these men a task of shoving 10 whole pieces of fruit up their arse, and if they can achieve it, without making any noise they will be allowed on their way.
The men run off into the jungle to collect their fruit.

T...

Doctor's advice.

*I was reminded of this joke yesterday (don't ask why!). If this is a repost, then I suck at reddit search.*

A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter
brings out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the
customer decides to let it go.

"Would you l...

My sister and I decided that we want to start our own businesses.

She's going to open a furniture store called 'Sofa King' and I'm going to open a soup restaurant next door called 'Stew Pit'.

Popular joke in Ukraine

"Driver of a Russian humanitarian aid truck was beaten by Russian soldiers when tried to light a cigarette near cans with beef stew."

"That's as clean as cold water gets 'em!"

A young man is harassed by his parents on the topic of his grandfather, and how he never visits or speaks to him anymore. The man protests, sighing. "He's such a weirdo. And he lives up there all alone in mountain country, I doubt he wants to see *anyone!*"

But his parents continue to insist ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Another hunting joke, doesn't involve tracks. Did some searching and did not see this one posted.

A group of hunters goes out for their annual deer hunt. There's like 10 friends and they all get together the same weekend every year to fill their deer tags. They arrive Friday night at the campground and tie one on - tis tradition after all. Jeffy drinks way too much and cannot even walk the next ...

Two cannibals

Two cannibals are lying around with swollen bellies surrounded by bones.

"Your wife sure makes a great stew," says the first cannibal.

"She sure does," replies the second, "but I'm sure going to miss her."