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What Do Spinach And Anal Have In Common

If you were forced to have it as a child, you will hate it as an adult

A gentleman orders a spinach omelette at a diner.

He asks his waitress if she had some hollendaise sauce to go along with his omelette, she said "I sure do, and I'll even bring it on our special chrome dishes."

He was confused a bit, but he didn't say anything. A few minutes later he got his omelette and sure enough, it was on a dish made en...

The jokes here are like spinach.

Already forced on us as kids.

If Popeye liked escargot instead of spinach

Would he be known as Popeye the Snailorman?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What’s the difference between a penis and spinach?

“None, both have to be forced into kids mouth”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What does spinach and buttsex have in common ?

No matter how it's done, kids don't like it

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between spinach and sodomy?

None really. You can add as much butter as you want, kids just won't enjoy them.

People always ask me what’s the best pastry

I tell them it’s quiche but with a special ingredient and it’s best at a certain time of the year but they never believe me

No one expects the Spinach in Quiche Season

The cow

A cow sits on a roof and knits spinach. A toast flies past and says: Fishing is prohibited here.
The cow: I do not care how much the strawberries cost, I'm here by bike anyway.

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My parents taught me well

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't stra...

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The Medicrin Story - taken from a Boy Scouting website

Long ago, before Gamecubes, before Playstations, even before Atari, there were nasty, vile monsters roaming the land. In those days, a few brave, strong men made their living by protecting common people from these beasts. This is a story about one such man named Erik and the adventure he had. 
...

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"The elephant is vegetarian" I smugly declared as I put on my scientist's hat.

"Oh, and how would you know that?" retorted my wife, as she often does when I make such sweeping assertions.

"Well," I said, "I have examined elephant turd carefully and I have found it to be quite vegetarian."

"In fact," I unwisely continued, "If you were to pick up an elephant t...

One day I saw a homeless man...

I took pity on him. I brought him to my house, fed him, bathe him, and even let him stay at my house for a bit until he finds a job. However, he took advantage of this and became lazy. And everyday, he would raid my fridge and eat my food. I decide one day to put a stop to this. I bought a can of le...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

50 of the most offensive jokes I know

1_Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes

2_My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

3_What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor....

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A lady walks into a grocery store.

She says hello and looks around the place for five minutes. Finally she walks up to the owner and says,

'Good morning sir. I was wondering if you have any broccoli left.'

'Really sorry ma'am, we're fresh out of broccoli. We might have some more tomorrow.'

'Oh. I see.'

Des...

First date

A young boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.


The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."


The boy picks up his date and they go to a sod...

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Angel's Food vs. Devil's Food

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream ...

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Grocery shopping

An old lady walks into her local grocery store and starts browsing through the produce section. The stock boy notices and approaches her to ask if he can help. The old lady responds, "I'm looking to buy some broccoli." The stock boy responds, "I'm terribly sorry ma'am but we are entirely out of broc...

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