UPJOKE
tomatoauberginepotatomad applecucumberfruitbrinjaleggplant bushgarden eggonionokrazucchiniseedcabbageasparagus

What do you get if you rub an eggplant?

A little aubergenie

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English fo...

Guy at a grocery store: Are those genetically modified eggplants?

Store worker: Why do you ask?

Eggplant: Yeah, why do you ask?

What do eggplants, zucchini and cucumber all have in common ?

none of them looks like a peach

Lets face it English is a stupid language There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England

French Fries Were Not Invented In France.

We Sometimes Take English For Granted

But If We Examine Its Paradoxes We Find That:

Quicksand Takes You Down Slowly

Boxing Rings Are Square

And A Guinea Pig Is Neither From Guinea Nor Is It A Pig.

If Writers Write, H...

What do an eggplant and a chicken have in common?

They’re both purple... except for the chicken.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

Three nuns.

Three nuns are at the grocery store shopping. The eggplant they wanted to buy was only available in packs of four. Distressed, the first nun says , “ what do we do sister? There are three of us, but the package is for four!” “Don’t you worry about that,” says the second nun. “We’ll just cook the...

Guy gets a job as a spy...

He's sent on his first mission, and told that the secret passphrase he has to give to contacts is, "The night-bird flies at dawn."

He's instructed to go to London, head to Piccadilly Circus, and speak to a guy in a purple fedora, busking. So he flies to London, goes to Piccadilly Circus, fin...

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The local brothel is hiring

This to be told at parties - needs to have women in the audience.

So, the local brothel has been losing business for a while and the owner thought it's time to add some new faces to shore up some business. She had 3 rooms open and could hire 3 more girls.

She puts up an ad on the loc...

A Brundle of Laughs - Formula 1 Joke

What did Guenther Steiner say to his boss after Kevin Magnusson ran wide at turn 3 and skidded onto an eggplant?

I’m afraid it’s Aubergine

What is a huge henhouse called?

an Eggplant.

What do you call a pregnant hen ?

Eggplant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there’s this lady, shopping in a grocery store.

She walks over to the produce section and picks out a nice sized cumber, some large carrots, and a decently sized eggplant. As she continues shopping, she picks up a Barry Manilow cd from the $5 discount bin and a few pumpkin spice scented candles. As she heads to the register she grabs her last ite...

homophobic strawberry

A strawberry walks up to his friend the eggplant and asks him what he thinks of the tomato. The eggplant answers "I don't know, he seems like an alright guy. Why? What do you think of him?" The strawberry answers "I don't know, man. He seems like kind of a fruit".

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Translated a joke from Japanese

Japanese has a lot of pun-filled jokes that I don't think would translate well into English without explanation, but here is one of my favorite Japanese jokes that I think could translate well...

Question: A truck is carrying eggplant, tomatoes, and pumpkins. It hits a sharp turn. What fell?<...

Master List for Easter Dad Jokes

Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? From Eggplants

Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

What day does an Easter egg hate the most? Fry-days.

What kind of bunny can’t hop? A chocolate one!

Why did the Easter egg hide? He ...

What do you reap after sow the yolk?

Eggplant

Have you ever heard of the ckicken plant?

I guess the eggplant came first!

I work at a grocery store and a guy in the produce department told me this. He thought it was hilarious

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