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Paranoid Schizophrenia Jokes

Doctor said I've got something called "paranoid schizophrenia,"

but, then he turned into a desk lamp, so, I'm pretty sure he's out to get me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mental health hotline.



Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.


If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.


If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.


If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.


If y...

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.

... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!

... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.

... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams...

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