I was on a diabetes awareness website...

It asked if I accept cookies. Definitely a trick question!

People think my diabetes jokes are harsh.

But it’s not like I can sugarcoat it.

My mother in law suffers from acute diabetes and hay fever....

I always try to cheer her up with chocolate and flowers.

What do you call it when someone rebels against their diabetes treatment?

Insulince.

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

^btw ^I ^waited ^1 ^whole ^year ^to ^tell ^this ^joke

I told my son to have sweat dreams, but he started crying

He has diabetes

I never understood how diabetes runs in my family

No one runs in my family...

A new kind of diabetes was discovered in rural Taiwan

They're calling it Taipei.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Natural Medicine For Guys.

1: Go up to a tree and take a piss, if your pee attracts ants, you have diabetes.

2: If it dries fast, your sodium is high.

3: If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.

4: If you forgot to unzip, Alzheimer.

5: If yo missed the tree, Parkinson's.

6:If you pe...

I just thought of this now and I don’t have time to fix it into a proper joke but... What’s the easiest way for a person with type 1 diabetes to lose it?

Eat enough to get type 2

I'm a pretty badass sugar daddy myself...

I have diabetes and 3 kids.

Health care is too expensive, I went to the hospital for complications from my diabetes

And It cost me an arm and a leg.

Diabetes isn't fatal, said my doctor

"That's funny", I thought. They don't call it Liveabetes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The results of a 3-year trial for a drug that prevents diabetes are in.

A scientist walks into his boss's office to brief him on the results.

"How did you conduct this study?" asked the boss,

"We gave a group of 300 participants our drug, at 3 doses a day, and another 300 a placebo. We then found the number of people in each group who had diabetes." replie...

I don’t know why people say it’s hard to beat diabetes

Because I’m already on stage 3

My uncle has diabetes and alzheimers

I asked him where his feet were and he was stumped.

My doctor told me that I may die due to diabetes

At least that's a sweet way to go.

A man goes to the hospital to see if he has diabetes.

Once he arrives, a nurse asks him for a urine sample. He complies, and moments later, the nurse comes back into the room with the results.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we've found high traces of glucose in your urine. You're diabetic." She says.

Disappointed, the man manages to reply, "Well, I...

Why did the PR guy develop a Type II diabetes?

Because he always sugarcoats everything he says and always eats his words.

My grandma got her foot amputated because of diabetes. Seeing her like this reminds me that no one can escape old age.

especially if you have one leg.

If Johnny buys seventeen donuts every Monday and eats twelve of them each Wednesday, what is Johnny left with at the end of the year?

Diabetes

A guy gets diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is feeling down, his doctor tells him that type 2 is less serious than type 1 and that he should stay optimistic, the patient replies "doctor, please don't sugar-coat it for me"...

Doctor says: "sir, I'm being candyd"

A Frenchman, a German and an American walk into a bar

"I'm tired and thirsty", said the Frenchman, "I must have wine!"

"I'm tired and thirsty", said the German, "I must have beer!"

"I'm tired and thirsty", said the American, "I must have diabetes..."

What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes?

You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Diabetes is surprisingly the #1 cause of blindness

I thought it was just a fucked up weight loss program where you chop your feet off

They always told me to put 5 colors on my plate to stay healthy.

So how did I get diabetes on my M&M only diet?

How easy is it to kill someone with diabetes?

It’s a piece of cake!

Why is there no cure for diabetes?

Because they can't have a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down.

What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes?

Sweet Pee

Researchers in Texas have cured diabetes in mice without side effects.

I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now.

You have 30 chocolate bars. You eat 20 in 1 day. What do you have now?

Diabetes

My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes.

I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates

a man is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over

“Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a  breathalyzer test.”

“I can’t”, the man quicly responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”

“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “

Can’t do that ...

My doctor told me quite harshly that I have to quit eating sweets if I want to avoid diabetes

He didn't sugarcoat it.

How did the doctor tell his patient he has diabetes?

He didn't sugar coat it

I've stopped dating this girl I met at the Diabetes Camp.

Turns out she isn't really my type.

Bob has 69 candy bars. He eats 42 of them and then stops eating. What does he have now?

Diabetes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paula Deen is set to release memoirs about life with Type 2 diabetes

It will be titled "Paula Deen - For Butter or Worse"

A man is driving down a road, swerving every now and then, so he’s pulled over by a cop, believing him to be drunk...

The cop then takes out a breathalyzer, and asks the driver to breath into it, the driver says he cannot, the cop asks why, and the driver tells him he has asthma.

The cop then walks back to his car and takes out a tube, he then returns to the driver and asks him for a urine test. The driver t...

Life is like a box of chocolates

It really sucks if you have diabetes ;)

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