What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

^btw ^I ^waited ^1 ^whole ^year ^to ^tell ^this ^joke

What do you call it when someone rebels against their diabetes treatment?

Insulince.

Health care is too expensive, I went to the hospital for complications from my diabetes

And It cost me an arm and a leg.

LPT: Sweet tasting urine is often the first symptom for those with undiagnosed diabetes. In related news..

.. my hamster has diabetes.

Killed a guy with diabetes

It was a piece of cake.

I don’t know why people say it’s hard to beat diabetes

Because I’m already on stage 3

People think my diabetes jokes are harsh.

But it’s not like I can sugarcoat it.

Diabetes isn't fatal, said my doctor

"That's funny", I thought. They don't call it Liveabetes.

My grandma got her foot amputated because of diabetes. Seeing her like this reminds me that no one can escape old age.

especially if you have one leg.

My girlfriend has been having a really hard time with her hay fever and diabetes, so I thought I’d get her something nice.

Nothing fancy, just some flowers and chocolates.

My doctor told me that I may die due to diabetes

At least that's a sweet way to go.

Just been on a diabetes awareness website....

It asked me if i accept cookies.




Is that a trick question?

A man is driving down a road, swerving every now and then, so he’s pulled over by a cop, believing him to be drunk...

The cop then takes out a breathalyzer, and asks the driver to breath into it, the driver says he cannot, the cop asks why, and the driver tells him he has asthma.

The cop then walks back to his car and takes out a tube, he then returns to the driver and asks him for a urine test. The driver t...

Why did the PR guy develop a Type II diabetes?

Because he always sugarcoats everything he says and always eats his words.

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over,

“Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”

“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I...

Diabetes runs in my family...

Because no one else does.

My uncle has diabetes and alzheimers

I asked him where his feet were and he was stumped.

A man goes to the hospital to see if he has diabetes.

Once he arrives, a nurse asks him for a urine sample. He complies, and moments later, the nurse comes back into the room with the results.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we've found high traces of glucose in your urine. You're diabetic." She says.

Disappointed, the man manages to reply, "Well, I...

I'm really craving some fast food but I'm scared I might get what everyone else has been getting

Diabetes

Two obese people start fighting over a burger. Who will win?

Type 2 diabetes

A guy gets diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is feeling down, his doctor tells him that type 2 is less serious than type 1 and that he should stay optimistic, the patient replies "doctor, please don't sugar-coat it for me"...

Doctor says: "sir, I'm being candyd"

What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes?

You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/

Life is like a box of chocolates

It really sucks if you have diabetes ;)

Researchers in Texas have cured diabetes in mice without side effects.

I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now.

Why is there no cure for diabetes?

Because they can't have a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down.

My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes.

I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates

My girlfriend has hayfever and diabetes

I try to cheer her up with flowers and chocolate, but she doesn't appreciate it.

Your Momma so fat.......

Her flesh eating disease got diabetes.

What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes?

Sweet Pee

How did the doctor tell his patient he has diabetes?

He didn't sugar coat it

A man sits in the doctor’s office waiting for the results of his test.

The the doctor returns and says, “I’m sorry sir, but it looks like you have diabetes.”
The man responds, “Well, I want a second opinion.”
“Okay... you’re ugly, too.”

My doctor told me quite harshly that I have to quit eating sweets if I want to avoid diabetes

He didn't sugarcoat it.

I've stopped dating this girl I met at the Diabetes Camp.

Turns out she isn't really my type.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paula Deen is set to release memoirs about life with Type 2 diabetes

It will be titled "Paula Deen - For Butter or Worse"

In math class:

Bill has 40 bars of chocolate. He eats 35. What does he have now?

Me: Diabetes.

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