Alzheimer Jokes

He said, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

I said "Thats the fifth time you've said that today"

The Who?

1. You can hide your own easter eggs.

2. You get to meet new people everyday.

3. You can hide your own easter eggs.

They don't know either.

I said to him “I don’t remember asking”

To get to the other side

It's better to forget to pay for your beer than to spill it.

Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question.
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

What is the difference between a pilot and a person with Alzheimer?

Every single time.

You get to laugh at all the reposts on here everytime.

I forgot the results.

A boomerang.

Hey does anyone know when there'll be a cure for Alzheimer's?


Hey does anyone know when there'll be a cure for Alzheimer's?


Hey does anyone know when there'll be a cure for Alzheimer's?

You’re running but can’t remember where.

Oh nana, What's my name?

Who asks me every single morning if I’ve seen his wife.
Now, you have to know his wife has been dead for years and I’ve thought about not answering the door every morning or even moving, but I end up telling him that she’s dead just to see that big smile on his face.

Credit A Jeselnik

Unfortunately, he forgot the formula.

It's called *A Walk to Remember*

You meet new people every day!

Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have cancer.”

I forget how it goes.

Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.

The doctor tells him, “Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer’

The man, clearly frustrated, asks, “Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?”
... read more

Old Macdonald had Alzheimer’s e I e I o
With a quack quack here and a quack quack there here a quack there a quack every ware a quack quack , e I e I o With a quack quack here and a quack quack there here a quack there a quack every ware a quack quack , e I e I o With a quack quack here and a qua... read more

I don’t know if the women in bed is my wife or if I should pay her.

Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.

The winner will be crowned Miss Remember.

But for some reason all the links were already purple.

…………….But at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s

He had a fee of $50, no matter what ailment. If he failed in finding a cure, he would give $500 to the patient.

One day, a man came to him and said, "Doctor, my sense of taste is deteriorating."
The doctor gave him a jar and said, "Have a spoonful of this."
The man tries some, spits... read more

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's who?



... Knock knock.

But I just can’t remember why!

What’s the difference between alzheimers and dementia?

Why is most search results purple?

You can hide your own Easter eggs.

She loves reading the fresh new jokes every day!

Patient: Atleast Idont have Cancer

Carl, a man with Alzheimer’s, goes out to a nice restaurant with his wife. The next day his friend Adam comes to visit him.

Carl: We went to an amazing restaurant last night, everything was perfect. The food, the atmosphere, the service, it was all unbelievably good!

Adam: Really? What... read more

So I found out today I have Alzheimer's...

It was a lot to process and the road ahead won't be easy,

but hey! At least I don't have cancer!!

Man: Doc, what’s alzheimer’s?



Doctor: it’s a disease that slowly destroys your memory and mental function. I understand this can be rough to go through and we have resources for you if you need them.


Man: Well at least i don’t have cancer

Together, we can all end Alzheimer’s for good.

Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

You don't recognize anybody, but everybody recognizes you.

To get to the other side

I have a really cool joke about alzheimer's.

Patient: At least I don't have AIDS

Parkinson's! With Alzheimer’s you just forget to drink the beer, with Parkinson's you spill it.

I prefer Parkinson's .. Alzheimer's I will forget my bottle of wine .. and Parkinson's I will only lose half the drink.

The doctor comes in with a folder full of test results and says, “I’ve got two major concerns.” The old man says, “Ok doc, let’s hear it.” Doctor says, “Well, as you know we ran a full body MRI, and we discovered that most of your major organs are riddled with cancer.” “Oh no!” the old man exclaims.... read more

Whoever that is.

They almost always wake up in bed with someone whose name they can’t remember.

“That sucks,” the friend says.



“Yeah, but it’s got some upside,” the teen replies. “Like when I get twenty dollars for my birthday every week.”

I tell the patients to invite their whole family but nobody ever shows up.

What did the old man with Alzheimer say?

How did I get here?

My next door neighbor is a 90 year old man with Alzheimer’s. He’s a nice man but every morning at 9 am he asks me the same question, where is his wife. So every morning I have to answer this man that his hide has been dead for a few years now. That’s a tough responsibility for a neighbor to handle. ... read more

A cop with Alzheimer's pulls a guy over. He walks up to the window and goes "You have any idea why I pulled you over?"

It’s when you forget everything but the guilt.

You always meet new people every day

This old man was my neighbor, and since he had Alzheimer's he'd forgotten about what happened to his wife. So, every morning I would have to go to his house and tell him the news about his wife and how she had died. My relationship with the old man came up in an interview once. I told the interviewe... read more

“Have you got that five grand I lent you?”

Would you like to hear an alzheimers joke?

A man with Alzheimer’s walked into a bar

On the plus side, at least I didn't have alzheimer's.

First of all, you get to know someone new every time you look in the mirror. Secondly, you can always enjoy an old joke as if you heard it for the first time. And finally, you get to know someone new every time you look in the mirror.

What do we want?

We don’t know!

When do we want it?

What?

1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can look for the Easter eggs you hid yourself.
3. You can make new friends every day.

Begone, thought.

Each joke on r/jokes isn't a repost

A Walk to Remember?

But of course no one remembered.

They both act like it’s the first time they’ve had this conversation.

EDIT: Why is everyone asking me questions?

My life has been pretty uneventful since.

“At least I don’t have Alzheimer’s”

It could be worse. I could have Alzheimer's.

When I woke up, the first thing they asked me was which date is today. I'm afraid "how did I get here?" was not a good answer.

"Do you know how I got these scars?"

Alzheimer and Diarrhea. You don't know where to run

Hypochondria.

Prayers please, every upvote counts as a prayer ^/s

He made me roll the window down and says, "Do I know why I pulled you over?"

Me: "Uhhh, you owe me 20 bucks?"

He pulled me over three more times, and I made $80 that day.

Patient: "Oh my god. What is the cure??!"