A wife comes home one day and tells her husband she has been diagnosed as suffering from split personality syndrome.

“I thought you were just role playing”, replied the husband.

“No, but my psychologist has given me two options, live with it or lose one of the personalities” she says. “What do you think I should do”?

The husband thinks for a moment, “remind me dear, which one likes it in the ass”?

I often tell people I have Imposter Syndrome

But I'm sure they can tell I'm lying.

I’m on this great new drug to control my Tourette Syndrome.

I swear by it.

What does a timex and a girlfriend with Tourette’s syndrome have in common?

Both can take a licking and keep on ticking

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Wife got her test results back. We thought she had Tourette’s syndrome. Tests were negative.

Turns out I am a cunt & she does want me to fuck off

I was searching up Alzheimer’s syndromes

But the links were all purple

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My wife's test for Tourette Syndrome has come back negative.

Apparently I really am a cunt and she actually does want me to fuck off.

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Lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome

I wanted my first time to be special

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Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shit.

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome

Had a really bad start, but by the end I really liked it.

The Doctor told me, “You have Backstreet Boys Syndrome.”

Me to the Doctor, “Tell me why.”

Far too many trees suffer from little dog syndrome

All bark and no bite

It turns out that one of the doctors who I credited as a source in my book about impostor syndrome had falsified his credentials...

.. but every single one of my sources has so far admitted to being the fraudster.

A man with tourette syndrome is selling birds.

All the parrots are returned.

A little boy asks his father, "What 's the difference between having ups and downs?

His Father says, 'You don't have ups syndrome.'

Doctor, I can’t stop singing The Green Green Grass of Home. He says “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked.

" It's not unusual", he replied.

When someone forcibly makes you buy shares in their company, but you begin to sympathise with them

Would that be called stockholder syndrome?

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Stockholm Syndrome

My wife and I have a great marriage and a healthy sex life, even after all these years. And I’d like to think that I’m pretty good at sex. But I do have low self esteem, so sometimes I wonder if I’m doing a good job, or if her vagina has Stockholm Syndrome.

My girl has legs that just won't quit.

Damn that Restless Leg Syndrome.

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An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one sunny afternoon....

An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one sunny afternoon.

Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window: 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.

"Fucking get in there you cunt!" he says to himself...

Just be thankful COVID-19 wasn't instead named East Asian Respiratory Syndrome.

"Dude, don't touch her. She has EARS!"

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Ten Lines to Get You Out of Jury Duty

1. I can tell if people are guilty just by looking at them.

2. I am really attracted to you, Your Honor.

3. If a police officer told me I was a bug, I'd believe him

4. I think laws are for sissies.

5. Would I have to bathe?

6. Can each of my personalities vote in t...

Why is premenstrual syndrome called PMS?

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Just found out I have irritable vowel syndrome...

Every time “U” tell me “I” have to do something it irritates the $h*t out of me.

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What do you call a porn that stars only girls with Down Syndrome?

XXX

Doctor: I'm sorry John, but you suffer from Auto Correct Syndrome

John: I didn't even know I was I'll

I hate when people make fun of my Tourette syndrome

It really ticks me off

What syndrome has people barking out potty humor?

Toilette’s syndrome

I was at the doctor's today and I learned I have Bartter Syndrome...

Wondering if anyone wants to trade?



(Yes that's a true syndrome, and come on, you knew the punchline before you read it).



[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartter\_syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartter_syndrome)

I'm writing a book on Impostor Syndrome!

Actually, wait a minute. Whatever made me think *I* was qualified to do that?

\*trudges off disconsolately\*

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The bloke with turrets syndrome

This bloke with Tourette's Syndrome walks into the most exclusive restaurant in town.

'Where's the pissing, mother fucking manager, you cock sucking arsewipe?' he inquires of one of the waiters.

The waiter is taken-aback and replies, 'Excuse me sir but could you please refrain from usi...

I named my dog Syndrome..

So when he's Misbehaving I yell "Down Syndrome"

^^^Stolen

My wife fell in love with me again during covid-19

I guess you could call it stuck-home syndrome

What is the opposite of Down Syndrome?

Down Gooddeeddrome

A patient once told me that he had imposter syndrome.

I told him he was just faking it.

A man with Down syndrome walks in to a bar

The barman says ' hey! Why the Mong face?'

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout out, DOWN SYNDROME!

Why is it harder for older dwarves to make rugs?

Carpet tunnel syndrome

I just finished reading a book on Stockholm syndrome

I didn't care for it much at first, but after a while i could 't put it down.

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Tom Jones Syndrome

A man goes to the doctor with a complaint, "In my right ear, all I can hear is, 'What's New, Pussycat?'. In my left ear, 'Delilah'."

The doctor says, "We call that 'Tom Jones Syndrome'."

"Is that a common malady?"

"It's Not Unusual."

Tomorrow is Downs Syndrome Awareness Day

You're supposed to wear crazy socks.

I'm just going to wear extra jeans.

What’s the only test a person with Down syndrome does well on?

A DNA test, they get a 47 out of 46.

Why do Swedish people love their country?

Because they have Stockholm syndrome

I told my GF that I had ,been diagnosed with sticky sperm syndrome.

She said that'd be hard to swallow.

Worst Dad Joke of the Day?

You know what IBS is, right? Irritable Bowel Syndrome. What I've got is worse, IWS, Irritable Wife Syndrome. And that kids is why Dad is sleeping on the couch tonight.

What do you call a kid with down syndrome when he's high?

A baked potato.[](/changeling)

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My wife came home from the doctor

Not really a joke. It's a real life story that happened to me. My wife came home from the doctor and said. The doctor discovered my illness - I've got IBS. I told my wife, I know, you've had that almost the entire time I've know you. She said You don't even know what IBS is.

I said yes...

Being stuck inside for a long time due to Covid, my wife started having recurring nightmares about how our house is made of celery.

Doctors think it is stalk home syndrome.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Doc, you gotta help me. I can't stop singing 'What's New Pussycat'."



"Ah. That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"It's not unusual."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tom Jones Syndrome

This guy went to his doctor and said,

“Doc, I can’t stop singing certain songs. All morning I’ve been humming ‘The Green, Green Grass Of Home.’ Yesterday it was, ‘Delilah.’ Last week I sang ‘What’s New Pussycat?’ at least 100 times! What’s wrong with me?”

The Doctor says, “Sounds ...

I joined a forum for people with Down syndrome.

Comments are disabled.

The other day, my friend said that he thinks that I might have Asperger's Syndrome.

I couldn't tell if he was joking, or being serious, or happy, or sad, or angry, or frightened, or...

A good name for a dog is Syndrome.

Then when he tries to attack someone you can yell “Down Syndrome!”

I once went to a convention about impostor syndrome...

...but I had to leave because I felt like I didn't belong

I'm writing a book about my time growing up as a shy young boy with irritable bowel syndrome...

... i've decided to call it 'Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q. How many women in my house with Premenstrual syndrome does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. One.......ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a fucking light bulb motherfucker! They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this motherfuckinghouse in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once th...

"Tom Jones Syndrome"

A man is in the waiting room at his Doctor's office and finally, the Doc arrives.

"Hello Jim what seems to be the problem today?"

Jim replies "Doc, you've gotta help me. I can't stop singing 'She's a Lady' by Tom Jones!"

The Doc says "oh yes, that is 'Tom Jones Syndrome'"
...

I have a medical condition, where i sometimes Turn into a small Tower with a weapon on top.

My doctor said, it is called "Turret-Syndrome"

I am a psyicician specializing in growth hormone deficiencies. I had planned to present an exhaustive list of the conditions and syndromes that I treat but I couldn't wait to post this...

I have little patients.

How do you know if a deer has tourette's syndrome?

It has deer tics...

Why do you never see a black person with Down Syndrome?

God doesn't punish anyone twice.

I hate IKEA but whenever I go, I can’t leave without buying ridiculous amounts of things for my house.

I’m suffering from Stock Home Syndrome.

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What do we want? An end to tourette's syndrome.....

When do we want it? Cunt!

The special ed students made a metal band.

It’s called Syndrome of a Down.

A man goes into the doctors office

"Doctor,doctor" he says, "I keep thinking I'm a small city"

The doctor does some tests and says, "I'm sorry. You have town syndrome"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a guy with down syndrome buying a pair of jeans today.

I thought to myself, "What a greedy bastard, haven't you got enough already?"

What do you call a wolf with Stockholm Syndrome?

A Dog.

I want to get a dog and name it Syndrome.

So that every time he gets on my couch, I can yell "DOWN SYNDROME"

Why did the witch from Hansel and Gretel always think she was sick?

She had Munch House-n syndrome

Why did the guy with Down's Syndrome enter an RV contest at a bagel shop?

He wanted to Winnebago.

I'm reading a book about sufferers of tourettes syndrome...

I want to know what makes them tic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor, I can 't stop singing "What's New, Pussycat."

Hmm...I'll run some tests, but it's probably Tom Jones syndrome.

\--Is that common?

Well, it's not unusual.

Tomb Raider gave me carpal tunnel syndrome.

...and that was just the box art.

I need a volunteer to test Stockholm syndrome.

Any takers?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Russian with Tourettes Syndrome?

Yukanol Fukov

As I was driving underground with strangers, my wrist began to hurt

It must be carpool tunnel syndrome

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ed Zachary Syndrome

A woman was distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in
quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so
she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex
therapist, Dr. Chang.

Upon entering the examination roo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is suffering from restless leg syndrome

After countless unsuccessful medical treatments he becomes discouraged thinking he will never be able to enjoy a good night's sleep due to the overwhelming tingling sensations he experiences through his legs at night.

Having exhausted every other option, he decides to try his luck with a wit...

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